The Thirteenth Step
by ExOnEv
Summary: After almost dying from anthrax poisoning, Dr. Spencer Reid has been gradually coming to terms with something that had never crossed his mind before: How he really feels about Derek Morgan.
1. Perspective

**Chapter 1: Perspective**

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><p>Something told him not to do it. Something else told him he may not get another chance. Spencer Reid sat at his desk and fumbled over and over with the pencil in his hand. He let a sigh escape him and then he rubbed his eyes, not sure if he was trying to give up or if he was just distracting himself. He made a conscious effort to stop his foot and leg from shaking up and down.<p>

"Hey, man," Morgan said from somewhere behind him. Reid's head spun around like his neck was made of rubber, but he didn't say anything in response. "What the hell are you still doin' here? Go home. Get some sleep."

Reid looked back to his desk and cleared his throat as he pursed his lips. "I can't," he replied, straightening his back and pulling himself closer to his desk.

Morgan shook his head. "Can't? Or won't? This only happens when you got somethin' on your mind." He paused to give Reid a moment to consider confessing before he had to ask, but Reid didn't offer anything up. "What's botherin' you, kid?" Morgan sat on the edge of the young man's desk and waited for him to answer.

Reid got nervous. He quickly realized he didn't want to have to explain himself in any way right now. "I ju-just mean I have some things to finish here."

"That's bullshit."

"No… I don't bullshit. I have a job to do," Reid frowned. A profiler never enjoyed being profiled. "And don't profile me," he said, almost whispering.

"What did you say?"

"You heard me," Reid wasn't sure where his attitude was coming from.

"I'm not profilin' you. You're my friend. There's a difference."

A silence filled the space between them until Reid finally spoke again acknowledging Morgan's effort to be that friend. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Hey," Morgan lifted off of Reid's desk in a quick motion. Reid thought maybe Morgan was just going to leave him be and say a goodnight until he realized he felt Morgan standing right behind him. He immediately tensed as he felt big, strong hands land on his shoulders. _What is Morgan doing?_ _Is this really happening?_ Reid could count each digit as their heat began to radiate through the thin fabric of his button up shirt. His shoulders were both squeezed four times each. In slow unison. In perfect rhythm. Morgan's thumbs pressed deeply into Reid's lower neck. And each squeeze of Morgan's hands pulled Reid's consciousness deeper and deeper, lulling his tired body. He could sense the chemicals releasing from his brain; it felt something like euphoria. It was something sweet and comforting, bottomless and quiet. It was also arousing. Did Morgan know his hands were weapons of seduction? He must. Reid chided himself. He shouldn't be thinking these thoughts.

Still feeling the compression in his muscles, but knowing Morgan had stopped Reid opened his eyes, only then realizing he had even closed them. Morgan was leaning against his desk in nearly the same spot as before and he was smiling at Reid. "I can tell by the look on your face you need some rest. Go home."

Reid cleared his throat and tried unsuccessfully to seem unaffected. "What look is that?" Reid wondered out loud, only slightly curious. His eyelids were heavy now. He was completely relaxed; like that mini-massage had released all his worry at the moment. And thank God for that because the foggy surface he was under was veiling just how much he was reeling on the inside. Aside from the arrhythmia he was experiencing, his mind was becoming quickly over stimulated with the thoughts of all of his hopes and dreams creeping back into his conscious, reminding him of what he wanted. He wondered if he could hide it.

"You look stoned, kid."

He didn't let his expression change at all, but Reid hated Morgan for saying that. He forgave him just as quickly. Besides, Morgan didn't mean anything by it and Reid knew that.

"You obviously liked that a little too much," Morgan continued with a smirk.

"Uh, what are you talking about?" Reid's face got hot as he frowned and he could feel each bead of sweat forming on his forehead. He nervously moved his hair behind his ears so his face could breathe. But then he cringed as he began to feel himself sweating everywhere from every pore. Well, crap, he thought. Morgan isn't stupid.

And Morgan was eyeballing him pretty hard. "Maybe you should see a masseuse once a week. Hell, twice – three times a week. You need a little more 'touchy feely' from the ladies. Everyone needs more of that." Reid finally looked up at Morgan to see him smiling with that intoxicating grin.

"Riiiight…" Reid nodded as he stretched the word out, trying to act interested. That only earned him a strange look from Morgan, so he changed the subject, much like he always did. "Drive me home?"

Morgan shook his keys in his palm. "Let's go."

* * *

><p>The drive was quiet. Morgan hummed along to the radio. Reid watched the city lights blur in and blur out as he struggled to focus. The cab of the SUV was dark except for passing shadows and speeding glances of Morgan's face. "Does Hotch know you take this thing home at night?" Reid was just making conversation.<p>

"Does a bear shit in the woods?" Morgan responded.

"Of course it does. Unless it's displaced or in captivity outside of its natural habitat – I don't understand what that has to do—"

"Never mind. The answer is yes."

"Oh."

Reid kept asking himself if tonight was the night, if this moment was the moment, if now was the right time. He swore that every other second he felt different about it. He kept changing his mind over and over again and it was exhausting. He let the drone of the V8 engine distract him while the motion of the vehicle rocked him into a slumber. He was almost asleep when he felt the inertia from Morgan parking the Suburban on the street.

"See ya tomorrow."

Reid took a second to rub his face with both hands trying to wake up. Now or never, he thought. "Would you like to come up and have a beer?" Reid asked, strongly hoping that he would.

Morgan glanced at his watch and considered it. It had just hit the 9:00 o'clock hour. "Uh... Yeah, okay."

* * *

><p>They were at Reid's door when Morgan laughed. Reid chuckled too, but didn't know why they were laughing.<p>

"Did I miss something?" Reid finally asked, turning the key.

"No, man. It just felt for a second like you're trying to get me alone. If I wake up with a condom hangin' out my ass and the entire room smells like burnt rubber, you better have some sneakers on, boy."

"Chasing me down will be hard to do with your pants around your ankles. In fact, statistically speaking, the odds of you actually—" Morgan wacked Reid on the back of his head as they walked in to Reid's apartment and made their way to the dark kitchen.

Morgan knew something was up now. "I think just the anticipation of alcohol has you drunk. I can't believe you just joked with me about that kinda thing." Morgan's eyes carefully weighed on Reid, trying to figure him out. "You're off. Everything about you is different. I've noticed it for a little while now. What gives?" Morgan lit up the kitchen as he took two beers from the refrigerator, handing one to Reid.

Reid turned on the light. He quickly opened his beer and tossed the bottle cap into the sink. Morgan followed suit. Reid could feel Morgan's energy. He had this brotherly love vibe and it was making Reid nervous as hell. He swore he could actually feel panic nipping at his heels, he had nowhere to run; he was already home. He took a long drink and wiped his mouth. Morgan was waiting for an answer. Reid had no idea what to say even after rehearsing this moment endlessly, variable after variable. None of that mattered now though. The moment was here. It was right here. In front of him and happening in his kitchen. He smiled to himself, so nervously.

"Morgan…" he started. He took a small step, just to steady himself on his own two feet and felt an all too familiar shooting pain slice through his left knee. He limped and winced automatically. Then he chuckled timidly, trying to laugh it off. "Wow, my knee hasn't bothered me in a while."

"Reid," Morgan said sternly. "You're officially stal—"

"Anthrax," Reid cut him off.

"What?" Morgan looked very concerned. Being reminded how he almost lost his best friend left him so inexplicably confused. Why is Reid bringing this up now?

"Funny little thing, anthrax," Reid wouldn't look Morgan in the eye. "Kinda puts things into perspective, you know?"

"Reid?" Morgan stepped closer. "What's goin' on, man?"

Reid could only look down, not being able to meet Morgan concerned stare. "I've been trying to rationalize this... I've read articles, books… I've tried everything to talk myself out of it. The thing is," Reid paused, trying to hold in an uneasy laugh and then continued with a raised level of frustration, "I still don't know what I'm doing." He let out a sigh trying to relax his heart because it was much too late to turn back now. "I uhh, I-I'm not very good at this…"

Morgan watched in surprise as Reid finished off his beer. He had barely got a couple drinks down himself. "What, Reid? What are you talking about?"

"Morgan…" Reid finally looked Morgan in the eyes. "I can't stop thinking about you."

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><p>REVISED 102014


	2. Everything Will Break

**Chapter 2: Everything Will Break**

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><p>Reid realized something. He could hear nothing but the silence. The more he focused on it, the louder it became. It was like white noise… white noise with a pulse. His pulse. He couldn't ignore it. That would have been an impossible feat, but he tried and that only made it worse. His body began to betray him again. His heart continued pounding hard against his rib cage while every breath he took felt thinner than the one before it. His stomach started tying itself into knots and he couldn't believe just how beyond scared he was. Reid wasn't dealing with an unsub here. This was Morgan. This meant more than outwitting a criminal or jumping into the path of a bullet, so 'scared' was not the best word to describe how Reid felt in this moment. This was a moment that felt like hours that felt that days that felt like weeks. This moment was petrifying and excruciating. It was all he could do to maintain eye contact with Morgan and not jump out of his own skin.<p>

_Why isn't Morgan saying anything?_

Reid swallowed hard against his dry throat as he watched his friend very carefully. The distance between them grew as Morgan began to step back. And though he had only taken a couple paces, Reid's ego plummeted to the lowest of depths and he struggled to hide it in his face. With his mouth tight, he began biting his lips from the inside. He could feel his eyes getting wet. His fingers rubbed against his thumbs when his fists weren't gripping tightly onto something that wasn't there.

"C- Can you please say something?" Reid asked, he begged.

Morgan turned away and clasped his hands on top of his head. Reid stared at his dark grey slacks and noted his very thin red sweater. He looked good. He always looked so good... "Reid, Reid, Reid…" Morgan whispered as he advanced two more steps away toward the wall. Hearing his name snapped Reid back into the moment. Shaking his head in what seemed like disappointment, Morgan turned around to meet Reid's eyes again. "I don't know what you want me to say, man."

They stood in silence for a couple of minutes. All of Reid's sweat glands were working overtime now and he felt like he could overheat at any moment. The moisture at his hair line was becoming extremely distracting. "Well…" Reid gulped as he stepped to the counter next to Morgan who blatantly measured the close space between their arms with his eyes.

Morgan thought maybe, just maybe he had misunderstood. "What do you mean? I mean- what exactly do you mean?" he had to ask. Reid needed to be crystal clear on this. Morgan watched while he waited for a response. Reid was staring down at his own fingers on the counter. "Reid, hey, look at me."

Reid turned his entire body to face Morgan, his eyes shifting nervously, but he wasn't able to actually look at Morgan. He felt like such a child, like he had done something wrong. He quickly tried to think back to a time he had taken such a risk that left him feeling this way. He couldn't recall any such time. He couldn't recall a moment when loving someone hurt. Not like this.

"I have…" Reid started. His voice was weak and unsure. His eyebrows came together as he swallowed. Reid wanted to just say the words, but it was more difficult than his imagination had ever led him to believe. "I uhh, I have feelings for you." He looked away again, only to stare at the pattern on the floor. He began to cling to the irrational thought that if he could lose himself in that pattern, he would wake up from this paralyzing dream.

Morgan's eyebrows rose and his lips had parted as his tongue licked at the back of his lower center teeth. Well, there was no way to misunderstand that. His jaw clenched. Before Morgan could even process this, the investigator in him needed to know more. He took a deep breath and forced his reaction to the back burner. He looked at Reid again and could see that he was zoning out. He snapped his fingers once in front of Reid's tunnel vision towards the floor. "You with me?" He waited for Reid to look at him again. "When did this start?" Morgan seemed ready to hear it, ready to listen.

"When I woke up in the hospital and you were eating my jello." A slight smile formed on Reid's lips; that was a happy memory.

Morgan thought back…"That was a long time ago, Reid. Why did you wait so long to say anything?"

"I was confused. I wanted to be sure." His statements had the lingering of question marks behind them.

"You do realize I'm not gay, right?"

"I'm not either," Reid nearly rolled his eyes at himself thinking that must have sounded ridiculous to Morgan. "I don't look at you and think about you as a lover... not all the time anyway." He paused, not sure what to expect in response to what he had just said. "I, uhh… I don't know. What I feel goes deeper than that."

Morgan looked at his fist and forced his hand to open. He had been digging into his own flesh with his fingernails. Old memories became bright and vivid for him as he stood there with Reid. Morgan saw himself as the kid he used to be, scared, but trying and all the darkness he felt so trapped in. Reid turned to look at Morgan because he'd been quiet for too long. When he really watched him, his brow came together as he could see something change in Morgan. It was like hostility had emerged from some dark place inside Morgan and he could actually feel a wall go up, separating them. "I'm really sorry to burst your bubble, man, but it ain't ever gonna happen." Morgan pushed off the counter and looked at his watch. "I gotta go."

That happened too fast. Way too fast. "Wait!" Reid had a fight or flight response and grabbed Morgan's arm as he began to walk away. "Please, Morgan. Stay and talk to me," Reid's eyes begged of him. "You always said I could talk to you about anything."

With anger painting hard lines on his face, Morgan ripped his arm from Reid's grasp, leaving Reid frozen in place with both hands up, palms out, not daring to touch him again. "NO!" His tone both surprised and scared Reid. "You don't get to do that, Reid."

Reid's Adam's apple bobbed up and down his throat as he swallowed nervously. "Do what?" Reid didn't understand. Morgan obviously meant something very specific.

"You can't just lay this on me and expect me to be okay with it. You're my friend. I love you like family. And you just fucked everything up." Morgan bit his lower lip and then shook his head, visibly upset. "I can't even look at you right now."

"Morgan, wait," Reid said as he tried to step in front of Morgan. "You don't have to leave." Reid felt so desperate.

"Yeah, I do," he said very abruptly. Morgan walked with determination to the door. It was like he couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Reid had no chance of getting to the door before Morgan had it swung open and was walking down the hallway. "Morgan!" he called out. Would anything make him come back? He remembered his car was still at work. "My car!"

"You're a genius!" Morgan yelled back without turning around. "You'll figure it out!" He was already turning the corner.

"Morgan…" He shouted quietly, having given up. "Whh-," his mouth puffed out in a defeated breath. "…Wait," he whispered. He stood in place for as long as it took him to move again, which felt like forever. Closing the door behind him, he leaned on it for support. He didn't know if that could have gone any more badly than it had.

* * *

><p>Reid finally dead bolted the door and walked back into the kitchen. Dumping out Morgan's beer, he felt a rush of emotion in his chest. It was hard to hold it back. He wanted to breakdown. He could feel his nerves tingling with regret. It was making his stomach twist and he wrapped one arm around his torso at an attempt to comfort himself.<p>

It didn't work.

What now? Reid rubbed his eyes and headed to his bedroom. He plopped down on his bed and then let himself fall backwards to gaze at the dark ceiling. Even given the time zone difference, it was kind of late, but he considered calling his mother. Talking to her always made him feel better - about anything. But he didn't want to bother her even it was still early in Nevada… Besides, she would know something was wrong and he wasn't ready for that conversation.

He crossed his arms over his head and eyes hoping he could just disappear into a void of darkness. He wanted to be free of any and all thought, especially any thoughts of Derek Morgan. But of course, it wasn't that easy. Morgan crept into his mind after every thought he used to try to not think of him. He thought about the beach, which he didn't even like, and then he'd see Morgan throwing a frisbee to their non-existent dog. Stupid, silly fantasy… He thought about what he ate for lunch and then he'd remember how he watched Morgan from across the way while he ate. He thought about the case they were working on and next he'd remember all of Morgan's good input. He even thought about his kiss with Lila and then remembered how he had looked to Morgan for advice afterward. It never failed. Morgan was everywhere in his thoughts and everyday life. Reid couldn't escape him.

Tears began to slip from his eyes, rolling down his temples and into his hair. It had been so difficult to work beside Morgan while he had been mulling this over. He had to see him in the morning and at night, tolerate his driving, had to catch the bad guys with him, have his back, talk with him… And he always looked so good, made Reid laugh, always spoke to him with respect and had a gentle enough nature to put up with Reid's socially awkward ways. He had to survive Morgan's smile, his scent, his soft tone and his alpha presence, all without being noticed. And Reid did… for a while. Now the cat was out of the bag and everything was going to change. Morgan was right. Reid was so angry with himself for that. He was so selfish to have said anything at all. He cried hard and he cried for as long as he could produce the tears, knowing he needed to, thinking he deserved the worse for having hurt Morgan; having ruined their friendship.

Reid rolled over and grunted into his bedding, frustrated. He forced himself up and headed to the bathroom, intending on a hot shower. He caught his reflection in the mirror and stopped to stare because he didn't recognize himself. His lips were red and his eyes were puffy. There were red blotches all over his face. He leaned over the sink to get a closer look at himself. He wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight and regardless of that, he was going to look horrible in the morning. How was he going to face Morgan, much less anyone else? There were going to be questions. Even just general 'you look like death warmed over' comments… Reid was already thinking about calling in sick which was something he never did.

He felt like he had something to hide again…

That very second he recalled something that was never very far from his thoughts as a recovering drug addict. A hydromorphone induced euphoria would be one way to escape this, even if just for the night. And with just that one thought, a craving for Dilaudid hit him with a vengeance and his eyes closed as he tried to remember the high it gave him; weightless and peaceful.

But a memory wasn't going to be enough to cut through this.

* * *

><p>REVISED 102014


	3. Curb Rash

**Chapter 3: Curb Rash**

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><p>Morgan hovered over Garcia with his hand on her shoulder. "Alright, so cross reference any early '90s Supras and that partial plate in all counties surrounding and including Multnomah County." Garcia's fingers began to smoke on the keyboard and the monitor directly in front of her frenzied to keep up. He let his thumb rub gently against the top of her shoulder blade. He tried to read the information she was sifting through as quickly as her, but he couldn't do it. Morgan was impressed by her, as always. "You never cease to amaze me, Garcia."<p>

"Keep talking to me like that, lover boy..." she threatened.

"…And what?"

"And nothing. Just keep talkin' to me like that." They both grinned at their banter. Morgan breathed her in. She was such a wonderful person. She had one the purest hearts he'd ever known.

There were several counties to check so Morgan patiently waited, focusing on this little task at hand. He was very tired. It had been a long night for him. A very long and strange night. He didn't sleep well. Not after what happened with Reid.

The door opened and soon Hotch was hovering over them. "Any luck?"

"Not yet, sir," Garcia said. "Still… looking…" She was in the zone.

Morgan moved away from Garcia so he could stand up straight next to Hotch. "That plate and the car are probably both stolen. We might be chasing our tails here," Morgan stated.

"Keep looking," Hotch encouraged. "The victim is positive about everything, right down to the scent tree. She'll be able to confirm the details if we can just find the car and its driver." Hotch was as serious as he ever was. All business. He left as quietly as he came in, shutting the door behind him.

Morgan moved back into Garcia's personal space and said, "The victim said this car was in showroom condition. Let's assume this car isn't stolen. If this unsub is a Toyota Supra enthusiast and he's used his pride and joy to help him commit his crimes?" He shook his head. "You just can't fix stupid."

Garcia took a deep breath and continued typing. "That's gonna work in our favor. He'd be registered, licensed, insured and flaunt-ehhh…"

Morgan couldn't help but laugh a little. He loved that woman. "Yeah, he may even race it professionally." After fighting off a yawn, he continued, "I just don't understand why he let her go. Kidnap her, rape her, act like you did her a favor and then let her live to identify you later?"

Garcia sighed. "Don't ask me. I will never understand."

The door opened. It was Hotch. Again. Morgan looked over his shoulder in question. "Have either of you heard from Reid?" Hotch asked. "His car is here, but no one has seen him."

Deep concern struck Morgan as he realized he hadn't seen Reid that morning yet either. He immediately took his phone from its holster and speed dialed the genius boy wonder; the same genius boy wonder who evidently couldn't make it to work. "I took him home last night," he told Hotch and Garcia as the call connected. "I figured he could take the bus or something."

The phone rang and rang. And rang. And then voice mail. "Reid, hey… Where you at? Call me." Morgan looked to Hotch.

"Is there reason to believe he's in any danger?" That would seem like an odd jump to conclusion if they weren't in the line of work they were in.

"Nah, man. He was fine when I left. He shoulda been goin' straight to bed," Morgan didn't like fibbing to Hotch. Reid wasn't fine. He was upset. Morgan knew that. The guilt landed in Morgan's gut like a boulder. "You know what? I'll just go check on him." Hotch nodded and Morgan started walking. "Baby Girl, you keep lookin' for that car."

"On it!" She called out to him as he slipped out the door.

Morgan was already dialing Reid again as he left the building. And no answer. "What the hell, Reid?" he mumbled as he loaded himself into the SUV. He left the parking lot in a hurry, chirping the tires. As he weaved in and out of traffic, he thought back to last night. What had happened had thrown him for a loop. He never would have guessed that from Reid.

Reid was a smart guy… A little naïve when it came to relationships though. He has to be confused. It has to be misdirected emotion or something. Morgan tried to convince himself this was temporary and that it would blow over. "Ha!" Morgan laughed after the words he'd just thought came to light. "Blow over," he said out loud. Another ten minutes of driving and Morgan was within a block of Reid's place… He tapped the steering wheel with his thumb as he waited at the red light. He wondered if he could handle this… handle Reid crushin' on him. Maybe it would be tolerable if Reid just kept it to himself. He gunned the green light and parked at the nearest open spot big enough to fit the Suburban.

* * *

><p>On his way into the building, he was calling Reid again. Still no answer. He hit the up arrow for the elevator, but chose not to wait after seeing what floor it was on. He started heading up the stairs since it was only a few flights. Huffin' just a little, he finally got to Reid's door and knocked. He listened… He couldn't hear anything, no sounds of anyone coming to the door. He knocked again. Louder. He waited. Still nothing. Then Morgan banged on the door.<p>

"Hey…"

Morgan turned around only to see Reid. It took a second for him to wipe the confused look off his face. "Where have you been?" He was so relieved to see him. He wouldn't let himself think the worst, but he knew his rejection hurt Reid pretty badly. Morgan noticed he looked a little worse for wear. He certainly didn't look rested. Those circles under his eyes were darker than normal and his hair had not been brushed.

"I saw the Suburban when I was leaving, so I came back to find you." He was speaking so softly. Timid.

"No, man. Why didn't you come to work? And what? You're not taking my calls?"

Reid's eyes shifted back and forth a bit. "I… I didn't feel good." He hoped that last question was rhetorical.

Morgan frowned at Reid and looked him up and down. Brown cords, purple button up and a magenta tie… a brown sweater vest …sneakers and his man purse. Same old Reid, but something was different. He was holding back; hiding something. He couldn't put his finger on it so Morgan held his tongue for the time being. "You ready?"

Reid seemed a little surprised, but was happy to tell him that yes, he was. They walked down the corridor to the elevator and without last night being mentioned, Reid felt some of his tension ease. Maybe Morgan would forget any of it ever happened and things could just go back to the way they were. But the thought of knowing what he wanted was never going to happened made his heart heavy and he could feel it weighing him down.

When they reached the elevator doors, they stopped and looked at each other, both recalling the time when they got stuck in one that had malfunctioned and stopped between floors causing them to panic. "Stairs," they said in unison.

"You gotta call in when you're gonna be late, Reid," Morgan scolded as they made their way down the flights.

Reid had a hard time keeping up with Morgan. He seemed winded. "I thought- I thought I did."

"Nobody heard from you, man." Soon Morgan was pushing the doors open and the outside air blew into him from the draft. Reid's hair caught the wind and was rearranged instantly. They were outside, onto the sidewalk and quickly hopping into the SUV in no time at all. Morgan seemed to be rushing them.

As Reid fussed with his hair, the still puzzled look on his face kept Morgan from starting the vehicle. "You okay?" As Morgan watched Reid's long arms moving around as he fixed his hair, he remembered something he noticed in the hallway. Reid was scratching his right arm. Morgan's heart sank.

"Yeah, I just…" Reid's eyes moved back and forth. "I remember calling."

"Who did you talk to?" Morgan asked as he wondered what Reid's arm looked like under that sleeve.

"Uhh…" Again Reid's face was covered with a huge question mark. "I don't… remember." He seemed as astonished as Morgan.

"Mr. Memory Bank? Impossible. Just admit you didn't call." Morgan started the rig and signaled to pull out into the roadway.

"It must have been a dream or something. I remember it. I remember… something."

And it was quiet again. For a while. Reid looked up to the cloudy sky, squinting. Morgan hummed along to the radio. Both of them wondered how so much could change in just over 12 hours.

"I'm sorry about last night," Reid finally said.

"Nah, I was an ass. I didn't handle it well and I'm the one who's sorry." And he really was. He felt now that he had completely overreacted. If nothing else, he had to make things right with Reid. Get things back to the way they were or as close to that as he could get.

"You were pretty angry… Understandably so…" Reid kept rubbing and scratching at his right arm. And it still didn't go unnoticed by Morgan. "I mean- I know what happened. To you. When you were younger."

God damn it. Morgan felt his stomach flip and he had to grip the steering wheel tight and press his lips together to not kill Reid for bringing that up. He let a breath pass through his nose and out of the corner of his eye he could see Reid looking at him gauging his reaction. "We're not gonna talk about that."

Reid slowly faced forward again, like he was next to an animal that would strike if he were to make any sudden movements. Morgan kept driving, breathing deep and letting the traffic distract him. That was until he saw Reid scratch at his arm again.

"Alright. That's it," Morgan mumbled quietly. Reid held onto the center console and the trim panel for dear life as Morgan abruptly veered to the side of the street, bumping the curb with the right front tire. He turned off the engine, took the keys and checked the side rear view mirror before opening his door. Reid flinched as the door slammed shut. Morgan had to ignore the fearful look on Reid's face as he walked around the front of the vehicle to the passenger side. He hated himself for what he was about to do.

Morgan opened Reid's door and instantly grabbed at Reid's arm, not letting him out of the vehicle. Reid fought to take his arm back, but Morgan was strong. "Show me your arm," he ordered trying to get the sleeve to unbutton or roll up. "You usin' again?"

Embarrassed and wishing he could hide, Reid looked all around them. A couple had just passed by and gave concerned looks. "What? No-" Reid whimpered, his voice several octaves higher than normal. He took Morgan's arm in his free hand, pushing and pulling as he tried to regain control of his own arm, but failed.

"Do _not_ lie to me." Morgan and Reid kept fighting over Reid's flailing arm as he braced himself on all the surrounding pillars of the door opening to gain some leverage from Morgan and the SUV shook with his shifting weight.

"Please, Morgan..." Reid kept trying to pull his arm away, but Morgan had his fist in a death grip. "If you care anything about me…"

Morgan stopped cold, locking eyes with Reid. "That has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say." Was this guy kidding? No way was he gonna let Reid relapse over something that happened between them and not do anything about it.

"I'm not ly-" Reid looked down as his eyes danced back and forth… He licked his lips and tried to say the words. "I-I…" He had no confidence in anything else he was going to say and chose not to continue, knowing Morgan would see right through him no matter what words came spilling out.

Morgan looked Reid square in the eye, inches from his face, just to stare him down. He watched Reid's eyes tear up. "Show me… your arm."

* * *

><p>REVISED 102014


	4. Aura

**Chapter 4: Aura**

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><p>Reid shut his eyes and held them closed, letting the warm tears stream down his face. His lips puckered slightly as he swallowed. He sniffed, cleared his throat and only then reluctantly began to roll up his sleeve. He was done fighting.<p>

This was killing Morgan to see Reid like this. There was no better way to say it. How could he get around essentially telling Reid that he didn't believe him?

Once Reid had moved the sleeve up as far as it would go, Morgan man-handled his arm, looking for a little red mark or an unmistakable injection point. He could see where Reid had been scratching and right at the center of that was a singular puncture mark. Any anger Morgan had left in him dissolved completely. "I'm- I'm so sorry, Morgan." Reid said, his voice cracking from the lump in his throat.

"I don't understand why, Reid. Why would you throw everything away?"

"I, uhh…" Reid started, knowing he would have no excuse that would satisfy. He tried to find the right words. "After last night, I felt like I was breaking inside."

"Over me?" Morgan was beginning to understand how deep Reid's feelings really were. He let go of Reid's arm and headed around to the back of the vehicle, bringing back a small first aid kit. Reid watched as Morgan readied an alcohol wipe. "Reid, man, you gotta do better than that."

"I don't expect you to understand." Reid's voice was quiet and his tone was honest. Morgan stretched his arm out and used the alcohol wipe on the injection area and wherever Reid had been scratching.

"You're right. I don't get it. We all got our demons. We all lose our way sometimes." Morgan held Reid's arm extended out as the alcohol evaporated. "But you threw away your recovery and you risked dying... Was it worth it?"

Reid didn't answer right away. Morgan got a band aid over the tiny wound. He had no idea if this would stop any infection or not, but he did know it wouldn't hurt. "I'll get back to you on that…" Reid finally said.

Morgan didn't like that little sidestep. He let go of Reid's arm and brought his hand to the side of Reid's neck and shoulder. Then Morgan leaned down into his Reid's space again and Reid felt a rush of heat come from his gut and travel all the way up into his shoulders. He tried not to shudder. "Promise me you won't do that again."

Reid cleared his throat. "Yeah… of course," he nodded.

"I ain't messin' around. You _promise_ me." Morgan watched Reid very carefully because the boy couldn't even make eye contact. "If it takes you callin' me every time it crosses your mind, I'll be there for you. Just promise me."

Reid saw an opportunity here, but had no idea what still gave him any hope at all. "I promise," he said. Morgan's face showed some relief and he pulled away from Reid, "but I need a promise from you." Reid looked at Morgan with optimistic eyes.

"Sure, man. Anything."

"Promise me you'll consider it? That you'll let it cross _your_ mind?"

It took a second, but Morgan understood Reid loud and clear. And he didn't answer Reid. He didn't appear interested. He didn't even get mad. He just grabbed the first aid kit and walked around the front of the vehicle. He landed himself in the front seat and tossed the first aid kit into the back. Reid shut his door and turned briefly to look where the kit had landed. He buckled himself in and turned to watch Morgan. He was waiting for some sort of sign of acknowledgment. But Morgan only started the SUV, buckled and pulled out into traffic.

* * *

><p>After reaching work, Reid sat quietly in the SUV with Morgan. With the engine off, every noise each of them made seemed to be amplified. Even just breathing or the slight rustling of fabric echoed in Reid's ears. This only felt a little awkward. Reid was patient. He was waiting to follow suit. He would get out when Morgan chose to get out. "I'm not gonna tell anyone about this." Morgan turned to look at Reid. "You're okay to work?"<p>

"Uhh, yeah. I think I'll be okay. I just need some food and distraction."

"You don't have any of that shit on you, right?"

"No!" Reid said quickly. "No, I- I don't."

"We're gonna have to keep an eye on your arm. Let me know if it gets infected."

Reid smiled just a tiny bit. _We._ He looked around the large parking garage and wished it was just a little darker. He wished he could just freely lean over to Morgan and kiss him. Taking in a deep breath, he could smell Morgan's cologne. It was such a familiar and comfortable smell. "Yeah, I will."

"If anyone cares, you didn't feel well, slept in, all that, okay?"

"Yeah," Reid repeated. He unbuckled, leaned forward and picked up his satchel from the floor board, throwing the strap over his head and shoulder. Then he waited. Morgan still wasn't getting out of the Suburban. "Is something wrong?"

Morgan turned to look at Reid while his jaw was actively clenching and then said, "Nah." With that, he unbuckled his seatbelt and opened his door. Nothing was said as they walked through the garage.

The elevator ride up felt like a short one to Reid, although any alone time with Morgan always felt like he was continuously being cheated. He didn't get nearly as much as he wanted or even hoped for. He began to feel some anxiety when they were three levels from their floor, having only one thought on his mind. "Come over tonight?" he blurted.

Morgan looked at Reid with a 'deer in the headlights' expression on his face until he righted himself. Reid raised his brow waiting for a response. He felt brave. His lock on Morgan was unwavering. A few more seconds passed and the elevator doors opened, slicing right through whatever had tethered them at that moment. Morgan moved to step out and Reid quickly stepped in front of him. His aggressive behavior had taken Morgan off guard a bit. He was blatantly blocking Morgan and didn't act like he would budge without a slight scene occurring. "You got balls, kid. I'll give you that." Morgan looked around briefly before stepping around the boy genius and into the lobby.

Reid smiled to himself and followed Morgan into the BAU. Prentiss and JJ gave a warm hello as he sat at his desk. Morgan teased Reid in front of the girls and everyone laughed, including Reid. Things felt somewhat normal. After he had got settled at his desk, Reid watched Morgan get up and head into Hotch's office. He couldn't help but wish he was a fly on the wall in that room.

When Morgan walked out, Reid intently watched him and waited for an "all clear" sign of some sort, but Morgan wouldn't look at him. Then his desk phone rang. "Yeah, Hotch," he answered, seeing the extension number on the display. "Yeah, I'll be right up." He took a deep breath and caught Prentiss' eye.

"Everything alright?" she asked.

Reid just gave her a nervous half smile and pushed his chair in. He slipped both of his hands into his pockets and his shoulders hunched forward a bit as he walked. He took one look back to Morgan who wasn't anywhere to be found. His confidence tilted a little and he could feel his arm itch. He opened his eyes wide, blinking a few times as he walked up the small staircase. He wasn't high anymore, but he didn't feel 100% either. He tucked his hair behind his ears and cleared his throat before he knocked and opened the door.

"Have a seat, Reid."

And so he did. "Hotch?" he began. "I'm really s-"

"Don't apologize." Hotch's monotone voice was a tad jarring. Reid cleared his throat and pursed his lips. "Just don't let it happen again." He looked Reid over and continued. "You really don't look well. Are you sure you're alright?"

"I- I, uhh, I'm just really tired. I need to eat."

"If you're ill and need some time off, just say so."

"Hotch, I'm fine. I'm actually doing pretty well. I feel almost …good." Reid let an honest to goodness smile pass across his face.

Hotch's expression amused Reid. It went a concerned father figure to 'do I know this guy?' in about three seconds. But then Hotch stood up and walked from his desk to the door. Reid got up to walk out with him. "My door is always open… if you should need anything."

"I know. Thanks, Hotch."

Reid bee lined it for the bagels next. He really was starving. After spreading some of the whipped cream cheese on the two halves, he began eating it right at the counter. As he chewed, he readied some coffee.

"Hey, man."

Reid's heart jumped into his throat. That unmistakable voice. "Hey," Reid replied back. He wondered if he was glowing. He sure felt like it.

"Hotch easy on ya?"

"Yeah."

"Good," Morgan said. "Now get ready to go. We have a murder scene to go check out." He reached up and squeezed Reid's shoulder and proceeded to walk away. Reid overheard as he got Garcia on the phone to ask her if she had found anything a search from this morning. As Morgan's voice trailed off, Reid turned around to face the wall and let himself bask in the vibe that Morgan just left him with.

* * *

><p>REVISED 102014


	5. Chopsticks

**Chapter 5: Chopsticks**

* * *

><p>Rage. Overkill. There was blood everywhere. Reid couldn't get the images out of his head. Today's crime scene was… a lot to take in. He wasn't surprised it was still on his mind.<p>

He blew out a deep breath and lazily pulled the satchel strap over the top of his head, rubbing it against his hair in all the wrong directions. Glancing at the microwave, he saw that it said it was 8:15pm, but he double checked his watch out of habit. He felt exhausted from all that had transpired that day. The bag landed on the floor and Reid nudged it until it was next to the nearest couch.

Unbuttoning his sweater vest, he walked through the darkness of the one hallway his apartment had and into the bedroom. One quick balancing act and his shoes were off. Loosening his tie, he ambled back to the living room area. "No, not now…" He sat down hard onto his sofa and rubbed his eyes with the base of his palms as his stomach continued to growl.

Reid let himself lay down with one foot still on the floor, one hand on his stomach, thinking briefly that he should get up and shower… but maybe after just ten minutes of rest... It couldn't hurt. He closed his eyes and within seconds he could feel himself drift off a bit. Not having slept much the night before, it was a welcoming feeling as it enveloped him.

_Knock. Knock._

Reid awoke with a start reaching for his weapon. Immediately, he had it trained on his front door until he realized what was happening. He tried to gather his wits but he felt like he was suffocating. The air was so thick and he was sweating. Taking a few deep breaths, he slowly put his gun back in the holster, his brow tired and frowning. He got up and held his pounding chest as he walked to his door. Looking through the peephole, he smiled. It was Morgan.

Morgan was holding two bags of food. Chinese. Reid could smell it as he had opened the door and it made his stomach feel emptier than it already was. He just smiled at Morgan and welcomed him inside. "Are you ready for some grub?" Morgan asked.

They walked on through to the kitchen and Morgan set the food down on the counter. Reid was hugging himself as he watched Morgan remove all the little boxes from the bags. "I'm starving…" he said.

"Were you asleep?" Morgan looked at Reid with a knowing eye.

Reid just smiled again. He was afraid to say too much. He didn't want to ruin this. Whatever 'this' is. "I, uhh, didn't get a chance to," he swallowed, "uhh, clean up. Do you mind if I-?"

"Have at it, man. Do what you gotta do. I'll get a plate ready for ya."

Reid rubbed the back of his neck and backed away, acting kind of shy. When he was out of Morgan's line of sight, he began speed walking to his bedroom. He quickly shut the door and undressed. He was careful to lay his gun and badge on the nightstand. His unit had a master bathroom in the bedroom so he was thankful for the absolute privacy.

Morgan had both dishes set up when Reid came back out after only about eight minutes; the food was heaping and still very hot. He had to laugh when Reid walked into the kitchen. He had a different pair of cords on, these were dark grey and he had button up shirt, blue this time… "Why did you get dressed again?"

Reid started to smile, but only smiled out of the side of his mouth. "Are you kidding? I can't let you see me in my pajamas. I'd never hear the end of it." He tucked the wet strands of hair behind his ears.

"Wait, hold up. Did you just say 'pajamas'?" Morgan grinned wide after that.

"See?" Reid grabbed the plate closest to him.

Morgan handed Reid a set of chopsticks with a smart ass smirk. "Here you go, pajama man."

Reid took the chopsticks from Morgan and held them at chest level to look at them. "I'm going to starve."

Morgan laughed and gently patted Reid's stomach as he passed him on his way to the living room. Reid smiled and followed him, but not before sneaking a fork.

They sat down on the couch, Morgan at the left. A simple glass top coffee table was in front of them. Morgan had already placed two beers down on coasters. Reid wasn't a big drinker by any means. In fact, the only reason he had any beer in his refrigerator at all was more for Morgan's sake in the hopes of getting him alone. Whenever it was going to happen though, Reid was more than happy to share a cold one with his friend.

Reid tried... He really, really did try with the chopsticks. Morgan almost chocked twice watching him. But Reid finally gave up. "I just can't use these things."

"I think you're doin' better than usual."

"How can you say that? I still don't know what any of this food tastes like!" Reid proclaimed.

Morgan laughed and laughed. Reid rubbed his forehead with his fingertips, frustrated. "Go on, Pretty Boy. Use your fork. I won't tell anyone." That was such usual banter for them; being called that nickname by Morgan didn't even faze Reid. Morgan just kept laughing, really enjoying this time with his good friend.

Morgan was almost done by the time Reid was only half way through with his plate. "Good grub, huh?" Morgan asked. Reid nodded and kept eating. "What's on TV?" Morgan wondered aloud. He reached for the remote with a stuffed grunt and pushed down on the power button as he leaned back into the couch. The TV didn't turn on. "What the hell?" He pushed the power button again. Nothing. He looked at Reid who was still focused on his food. "Reid."

"Oh, yeah…" Reid began. "Sorry, it's not plugged in."

"Not plugged- What? Your TV's not plugged in? How do you expect to watch TV?"

"I don't." Reid shoveled some fried rice into his mouth. He chewed and pointed towards the TV with all of his fingertips, each one slightly moving until he swallowed. "I'm never home, besides, I don't watch it unless I catch wind of something I want to see..."

Morgan just shook his head, remembering how old fashioned Reid could be. They sat in silence as they finished their plates. They both considered another helping, but they were full after the first round. Large portions will do that. They headed to the kitchen with their empty plates and near empty beer bottles.

Reid glanced around nervously. This was a little like last night. He watched Morgan organize the left overs and then place them in the refrigerator. "There you go, kid. You got some food for a couple more nights."

"Thanks for bringing that over." Reid was rocking on his heals with his hands in his pockets.

"No problem, my man." Morgan put his dirty plate in the sink to join Reid's. "So… is everything else alright?" His question came with some apprehension, as if he was worried that asking would bring other things up.

Reid didn't know what kind of an answer Morgan was fishing for so he went the generic route with his reply. "Yeah, everything's alright."

"How did you do today? Any cravings?"

"Oh… I- I was fine. It's at night or when I'm alone when I…" he didn't finish his thought. "I find if I'm busy, I do better. And that's every day. Not just today." He needed to remind Morgan that he will forever be a recovering drug addict.

"Right… And your arm? Still itchin'?"

"I think it's okay."

Morgan walked up to Reid. "Can I see?"

"Uhh, yeah…" Reid unbuttoned his sleeve and began to roll it up while Morgan waited. Reid had taken the band aid off for the shower. Morgan didn't question that. He just looked at Reid's arm. "Looks okay, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, I'd say so." Morgan was holding Reid's arm to look at it, gently turning it this way and that to see it under the fluorescent lights. There was a slight bruise. Morgan began to let go of Reid's arm and at the same time, Reid somehow managed to take one of Morgan's hands in his own.

The moment Reid didn't stop himself from doing that was the moment his pulse quickened. His body temperature shot up what seemed like several degrees and it felt like something had suddenly taken him by the back of the neck causing his entire body to tense up. He looked down at his hand, holding Morgan's. This was the first time he had ever really noticed his lighter skin tone against Morgan's darker skin tone and he thought it was beautiful.

Reid made himself look at Morgan's face and saw that Morgan was looking at their hands too. Reid's lips parted and he licked them, not able to breathe through his nose any longer. He could feel his body shaking and his chest was so tight with anticipation. He was a little surprised. This was such a simple thing to have happen, but it meant so much. It meant so much because Morgan wasn't letting go.

_This is it._ Reid could feel the sensation of tears coming, but he swallowed and held them back. Morgan finally looked at Reid's face. And Reid watched Morgan's eyes as they moved from Reid's mouth, to his eyes… to his mouth again, then back to his eyes... Still, neither of them were letting go.

Reid was feeling brave again. Adrenaline owned him now. "Come here," he said. He began to pull Morgan behind him.

"Reid…" Morgan protested, following somewhat willingly, but still heavy on his feet.

Reid ignored Morgan and his reluctance and he continued to pull Morgan passed the living room and small dining room and passed the front door until they reached the dark hallway. Reid landed him up against the wall and with his body, invaded almost every inch of Morgan's personal space. Reid spoke before Morgan had the chance to. He knew he had to seize this moment before it was lost. "It's just you and me, Morgan." With his voice strained to hold back his excitement, he spoke to Morgan just above a whisper so very close to his ear. "Nobody is gonna know if you kiss me. Nobody, Morgan."

"Reid…" Morgan turned his head away, just slightly.

Reid swallowed and gently caressed Morgan's cheek with his trembling hand. "Morgan, please… Let me kiss you…" Reid knew once again that he had to be coming off as desperate, like last night, but he was... and he didn't care. He wanted to finally be able to feel what he had been feeling for so long and feel it right now, in this moment without any limitations. He knew Morgan had to be interested. He wouldn't have let this go this long if he wasn't.

Sweat teased the tips of Reid's fingers as he moved his hand from Morgan's face to his neck. Morgan's skin was getting sticky. Reid could feel the breath pumping from him, hot and thick. He could see Morgan reacting, even if he was trying not to.

"Reid, man… I don't—" Morgan finally let go of Reid's hand and let his own hand drop to his side, not knowing where to place it.

"Shhhh-shhhhhhhh…" Reid cooed into Morgan's ear. He was so close to Morgan's body. If they had been lying down, Reid would be laying on top of him completely. His left hand was splayed on the wall behind them.

Reid could smell the salt on Morgan's skin and he let his lips linger, just barely touching his neck. He felt Morgan's unsure hands grasp at his shirt from the sides. Reid backed off just a bit, giving himself enough room to unbutton the other cuff and then he unbuttoned the front of his shirt, pulling it off. He was left in just a white t-shirt and his cords which were hanging low with no belt. He leaned into Morgan again, breathing heavily against his neck. "I want to put my mouth on you, Morgan," Reid's voice shook almost as much as his nervous body was shaking. He could feel Morgan's hands at his sides again, took that as consent and he kissed Morgan's neck with just his lips. Morgan's skin was on fire. Reid licked his lips, tasting Morgan's sweat and then kissed Morgan's skin again using his tongue, deep and hard. Morgan's breath caught in his throat and for the first time, his pelvis jutted forward against Reid.

Reid pulled back and met Morgan face to face. Holding Morgan's head in his hands, he cocked his own head slightly and so cautiously, so gently pressed his mouth against Morgan's. He pulled away and they looked each other in the eye. Reid brought one of his hands down to Morgan's center and cupped his crotch, searching for and finding his swelling dick instantly. Morgan moaned reluctantly, trying to control himself. Reid kissed him again, open mouthed, but Morgan wasn't kissing back. He squeezed Morgan's bulge causing him to open his mouth and Reid went in for the kill, kissing him hard. Morgan kissed him back this time. And Reid almost came when he tasted Morgan's tongue dancing with his.

Reid was harder than he could ever remember. As he continued sharing long and deep kisses with Morgan, Reid pressed himself firmly beside him grinding and rotating his hips into Morgan's body, leaving his hands to roam Morgan's shoulders and arms, neck and lower back. Morgan's hands had made their way up to Reid's face. Their bodies were so close together, pressed so tightly alongside one another. Reid pumped against Morgan, needing release. He couldn't mistake the moment he felt Morgan's hands disappear only to feel them again… lower, grabbing at his ass to help leverage them against each other. Reid felt a wave of warmth take over his entire body and seizing tightness in his groin. He knew he wouldn't survive much more of this at all. One last thrust and grunt from Morgan was all it took. "Oh God," Reid whimpered as his body jerked out a load of semen into his underwear. He moaned with each spurt and didn't try to hide what was happening. He shuddered against Morgan, burying his face into Morgan's neck until the spasms stopped.

But Reid wasn't done.

Soon he began to slip down Morgan's body. He could feel Morgan's chest heaving, he could feel how rock hard his body was. His cheek rubbed against Morgan's erection... He landed softly onto his knees and began to undo Morgan's belt.

"You don't have to do this," Morgan said softly.

"I want to, Morgan. I want to do this."

Both of them licked their lips in anticipation. Reid carefully unzipped Morgan's pants and pulled them down a little. Then he cupped Morgan's muscle… Morgan held his breath while he released it from the confines of his boxer briefs. Then Reid pulled down Morgan's underwear more so he could touch Morgan's lower abdomen and pelvic region without the elastic band getting in the way. He spread one hand out along Morgan's skin, all around the base his cock, pressing and rubbing his fingertips into Morgan's groomed coarse hairs. He held Morgan in his other hand and what he gripped onto was so thick and hard… Reid could feel it throb along with Morgan's heartbeat…

He licked his lips and the inside of his mouth and swallowed. He'd never done this before. He wasn't nervous. It didn't feel wrong. It wasn't gross. He had never wanted to please or pleasure someone so badly in his life. He had never wanted to be this intimate with anyone. To be emotionally and physically bound to someone was something he had never been able to experience.

He kissed the shaft and Morgan moaned. That excited Reid to hear Morgan. He kissed the shaft again, wetting it with his tongue... He did this several times until he was ready to move his mouth to the tip. Greeted by pre-cum, he lapped at it and then took Morgan in his mouth. Morgan's knees buckled and he took Reid's head in his hands, growling a bit. Morgan began to gently move his hips back and forth against Reid's face, getting absolutely taken in by the young man's warm and very wet mouth. Morgan pushed himself deeply into Reid's throat a couple of times with no struggling from Reid. And Morgan let out several undeniable moans that gave it away that Reid was gonna make him blow his load.

Saliva ran down the corners of Reid's mouth, but he wouldn't wipe it away. He held fast to Morgan's hips as suckling noises filled the hallway. Morgan's body was vibrating. Reid could feel it. He heard Morgan mumbling but could only understand the words 'fuck' and 'damn'. Within seconds Morgan was filling Reid's mouth with squirts of warm liquid. Cum coated Reid's tongue and shot toward the back of his throat, threatening to spill from Reid's lips, but he swallowed Morgan down… After that he gently milked Morgan's cock for every last drop.

When it was over and done, Reid reluctantly back away and stood up, only then having to cough once and clear his throat. He wiped the corners of his mouth with the bottom of his shirt, exposing his stomach… He caught Morgan watching, but Morgan quickly looked away, putting his package back into his pants and zipping up.

Reid scratched his head. "That was…" he paused, "That was unexpected." He wiped the sweat from his face with his short sleeves. He had a bewildered smile, quite amused and happy over what had just taken place.

They walked back into the light, into the living room area. Morgan sat down and Reid sat down next to him, still glistening from the sweat beads that had reformed on his face. Morgan looked at Reid, looked at his crotch and then looked back to him. "Don't you need to clean that up?"

"Uhh…" Reid looked down and remembered what Morgan was talking about. "Oh yeah," he smiled and chuckled. "Guess I do. I'll go take care of that."

While Reid was away, Morgan buried his head in his hands. He couldn't believe that just happened. He couldn't believe he _let_ it happen.

When Reid came back out, Morgan was gone.

* * *

><p>REVISED 102014


	6. Spun

**Chapter 6: Spun**

* * *

><p>Reid quickly walked into the briefing room, interrupting the team. There was an awkward pause that left him the center of attention, but he wouldn't make eye contact with anyone. He simply placed his satchel down, opened the file in front of him and waited for JJ to continue.<p>

No one could take their eyes away from Reid for a good long moment. Even when they tried, their eyes always seemed to steal a glance in his direction. The look everyone had on their face was very telling. They were worried. Late two days in a row and obviously distracted. Tense. Reserved.

Prentiss was sitting next to Reid and began to study him. She didn't need to look very deep to see he appeared to be absolutely exhausted. His hair was a stringy, tangled mess. Even his clothes were hurriedly put on with his shirt tail nearly hanging out. She found herself more concerned as the seconds passed. She, like everyone else thought he was relapsing and Prentiss recalled the last time this was going on. He seemed to be hit a little harder by whatever he was going through this time. Poor Reid, she thought. She wanted to help him, but didn't know if she could. More so, she didn't know if he would let her. Was it even drugs? She wanted to talk to him later when no one else was around. Hopefully he would open up.

Reid rubbed at his glossy, bloodshot eyes with the backside of his hands, scrunching his face up as he closed his eye lids. When he opened them again, he saw Morgan sitting straight across from him, expressionless and Reid matched his poker face without effort. He could hear Hotch talking in the background now, but he wasn't listening. The others were contributing information and opinion during the briefing, but Reid was dead locked on Morgan, neither of them saying a word.

Prentiss noticed Reid and Morgan the stare off as it began and could tell that both boys were upset with each other. She didn't want them getting into trouble, so she placed her hand just above Reid's knee under the table, which immediately snapped him free. He looked downward and then looked at her, failing at not being obvious. The look in her eyes was telling him to be careful. Reid looked back to Morgan who could see something was going on between him and Prentiss.

She squeezed Reid's thigh gently, her thumb rubbing the outside of it. Reid cleared his throat. He tried not to look at Morgan and instead attempted to pay attention to Hotch, or at least seem like he was. Morgan gave one last look to Reid and Prentiss, curious now and looking somewhat angry before giving his attention to Hotch.

When the briefing was over, in front of everyone, Hotch said, "Reid, I need to see you in my office."

Prentiss lifted her hand away from Reid, looked at him and then looked towards Morgan who was looking at Hotch. "Hotch, can I speak with you first?" Morgan quickly got up and started scrambling with the file spread out in front of him. Hotch waited for him and they walked away together. JJ left with Garcia. Rossi was right behind them. Reid stayed seated next Prentiss. Neither of them would look at each other.

Prentiss let the air settle before she spoke. "I care about you… a lot… Reid and I don't like to see you in trouble."

"Hotch will be fine. I'm just late. Again." Reid's tone was very dismissive.

Prentiss turned her head to look at Reid. "I'm not talking about Hotch."

Reid wanted to hide. Was it _all_ that obvious? He took in a deep breath and let it out quietly. He felt so much disappointment in himself. While clearing his throat he pursed his lips fighting back the urge for tears. Feeling guarded, he couldn't bring himself to say anything… He felt too emotionally and mentally drained to talk to her, especially right now, but Prentiss was a good friend. He held his hand open next to her lap and she put her hand in his. They held hands until he could say the words. "Thanks, Emily." She watched Reid get out of his seat and he gave her a slight smile. He gathered up his paperwork and satchel and walked out of the briefing room.

Reid saw Morgan over by the coffee and headed straight there, but Morgan saw Reid coming. He took a sip of his second helping of freshly poured coffee and started to walk away, but Reid was too fast. "Hey," Reid said, a little short of breath. "What happened to you last night?"

"No, no, _no_… We are _not_ doin' this."

What, was Morgan going to avoid him now? Reid couldn't pretend like last night didn't happen. He could feel his face getting hot and his mouth getting dry. Reid swallowed and then spoke in a quiet, stern voice while once again, being brave and attempting to block Morgan from walking away. "It's a simple question. Why did you leave?" Reid's chest bumped into Morgan's shoulder and arm a few times as Morgan kept trying to move around him.

"Back up off me, man." Morgan said slowly as he glared at Reid. "Just what the hell do you think you're doin'?" The look on Morgan's face should have scared Reid.

"Mixed signals, Morgan. You know that term?" Reid wasn't backing down.

Morgan looked around to make sure they hadn't grabbed anyone's attention and then spoke every word with a very heavy weight. "Reid, I'm only gonna say this once…" he pointed at Reid with the coffee cup in his hand, "_THIS_ is not the time _OR _the place."

Reid eyes shifted as he remembered what he said about nobody knowing. No one was supposed to find out about anything and here he was, acting like this. Reid composed himself and apologized to Morgan with his eyes. He licked his lips and swallowed. "I just think we really need to talk."

Morgan was about to respond, but just then Prentiss walked by to get her own coffee. "Guys…" she greeted cautiously, it being very clear she was interrupting something.

Reid immediately backed up from Morgan and put his hands in his pockets, head down. Submissive.

"Now, if you'll excuse me," Morgan gave Reid a look that Prentiss didn't understand, "I need to go make sure your ass doesn't get written up… or worse."

Reid tried so hard not to watch Morgan walk away. Feeling defeated, he looked at Prentiss like a wounded puppy.

"_What_ is going on with you two?" Reid's eyes shot off in every direction except towards Prentiss. He also began rocking on his heels a bit. She stood there waiting for him to say something... _anything_, but he wouldn't respond. She began to walk away and made it a couple of steps, but then quickly turned around. "Hey, listen..." she started. Reid raised his brows in acknowledgement. "Do you maybe want to go get a bite to eat at TenPenh after work?"

"Oh, uhh…" Reid loosely puckered and then grinned as he considered it. He knew she was going to be a friend and try to get him to talk, but he also knew well enough he could control the conversation by choosing his words very carefully. "Yeah, okay."

"Okay," she smiled. Reid waited while he watched her fix her coffee up how she liked it. Then he walked with her to their desks, feeling strangely attached to her at the moment.

About ten minutes passed before Morgan was finally leaving Hotch's office. Reid watched him walk down and over to his desk. Then Reid's desk phone rang. Hotch. He answered and told Hotch he'd be there in a few minutes. He exchanged a glance with Prentiss, feeling pretty anxious. After pushing his chair in, he headed towards the bathroom needing to splash some water on his face.

While he was looking at himself in the mirror, water still dripping from his jaw line, he realized what a parallel he was running compared to when he was using. He was gonna have to get a grip or this wasn't going to end well. He ran his hands under the faucet again and then ran them through his hair a couple of times. Splashing water on his face one last time, he heard the bathroom door open. Turning, he saw Morgan standing by the door at his left.

"Morgan…?" He turned off the water and grabbed at the paper towels. Reid didn't understand why he was in there if he didn't want to talk. He watched as Morgan gave the bathroom a once over, making sure there was no one else in there. "What are you doing?" He began to pat his face dry.

Morgan walked over to Reid. "Be ready to take a little time off. I couldn't get Hotch to budge."

Reid stared at Morgan with his mouth drawn open. "Oh…" Morgan patted him on back, his hand lingering for just a moment longer than what would have been usual, and then he headed to the door. "Morgan?" Reid wanted some sort of reassurance about _something_ and his expression begged for it.

Morgan smiled at Reid with his eyes as he reached for the door handle. "Everything's gonna be alright, kid." He was so soft spoken and Reid could feel that brotherly love pulsing from Morgan and it hit him like a wave.

He had to ask. "H- Hey, Morgan?"

"Yeah, man…" Morgan licked his lips and waited for Reid.

"When will I see you again?" Reid didn't mean at work. He bit at his lower lip nervously while he waited for Morgan to answer.

Morgan took a hard look at him and sighed. "I don't know, Reid."

"Tonight?" Reid suggested, hopeful.

"I don't know," Morgan repeated, shrugging slightly to emphasize.

"You want to, right?" Reid started to move in Morgan's direction. "You want to come see me?"

"Not here, Reid. How many times do I have-"

"Do you know why last night happened?" Reid stopped to leave a couple feet of room between them.

Morgan turned his head, a little annoyed, not wanting to have this conversation. "Because you're a persistent little sh—"

"It happened because we both wanted it to." Reid blinked fast several times, almost like a twitch. "I-I mean," he licked his lips and continued, "I mean, if _nothing_ else, tell me you understand that." He paused and pulled one side of his hair behind his ear before tucking his hands into his pockets.

Morgan clenched his jaw and just looked at Reid. He didn't know what to say to make _him_ understand. "It's not that simple, Reid."

"I know you _understand, _Morgan." His expression became excited and confident, but Reid realized right then he didn't need to force a conversation with Morgan. If Morgan felt _at all_ the same, Reid would give him time and he would let Morgan come to him. "But if you can't talk about it right now, that's okay. Say nothing, that's enough for me… When you're ready to talk, I'll be right here waiting."

Morgan thought of Reid's comment about mixed signals. He flashed back to last night and was surprised at the sense of heat he immediately felt. He had been a virgin to anything like what happened in Reid's hallway. That was something so raw. All he could really remember was the sweaty heat, the warm wetness and the teeth tingling orgasm he experienced inside Reid's mouth. He didn't want to compare it to anything relating to the sexual abuse he had experienced as a youngster. He wasn't the same person and Reid was no threat. But Morgan was holding back and he needed to figure out why. He needed more time to think about everything. He did know that Reid had him spun, but for now, he wanted to hold his ground and stop this conversation while the gettin' was good. "I gotta get back."

"Ignore it all you want, Morgan, but I know I'm right." Reid eyes were locked on Morgan's once again. They seemed to hold Morgan in place until he deliberately closed his eyes and held them shut.

When he opened them again, he told Reid, "You assume too much." Reid's expression wilted, but Morgan opened the door and walked out anyway. He shook his head knowing he didn't have to beat the kid down like that.

After Morgan left, Reid came out of the bathroom, quickly making his way up to Hotch's office and what Morgan said would happen, in fact become Reid's reality. Hotch asked him to take the rest of the week off and to return Monday. Nothing was on the record. No big long speech. But Reid didn't know how good of a plan it was, idle hands and all...

When he got back to his desk, he immediately started to gather his things. Prentiss looked to Morgan questioningly and then looked back to Reid. She thought that Morgan looked a little bummed and she felt really out of the loop.

"I'm going to have to take a rain check, Emily," Reid said softly to her. He was afraid he was going to hurt her feelings.

Hotch came out of his office and Morgan snapped forward in his chair and picked up his phone and quickly dialed a number from a file so he didn't look like he was relaxing; he had been watching Reid.

"That's alright." Prentiss shuffled some paperwork to look busy. "You can call me anytime," she offered to Reid quietly. Reid smiled at her shyly and threw his satchel over his shoulder.

As he walked through the office he passed Morgan's desk and heard him tell the other person on line an interesting choice of words: "I know I'm right, Mrs. Kingsly. It's what I do."

* * *

><p>REVISED 102014


	7. Bridges

**Chapter 7: Bridges**

* * *

><p>Morgan didn't know why he was doing this. He didn't know if it was loyalty or maybe responsibility. He was afraid it was something more than that. He was afraid because he never saw it coming. It wasn't even a conceivable thought in his mind until two nights ago when Reid told him how he felt and had planted the seed.<p>

When Reid told Morgan that he couldn't stop thinking about him Morgan knew it in his gut what he meant. He could see it all over Reid's face. Morgan had such a natural bond, a brotherhood, a seemingly unbendable trust with Reid. It angered him to have everything twisted into something almost unrecognizable. And he was still upset at how he reacted because he loved that kid. He'd do anything for Reid. That was partly why he was so confused and it was eating him up from the inside out. Morgan knew he wasn't a gay man. He had never considered a relationship with a man and sure as hell not a healthy one, given his history. Not until now. But Morgan did consider himself to be a very accomplished ladies' man and he enjoyed women. A lot. He wasn't sure he was willing to switch teams, not even for Reid.

But there he stood. In front of Reid's door. If anyone were to ask him why he was there he would have had to make up an answer because he just didn't know. He went to knock and brought his hand back. He felt ridiculous. "What the hell am I doing?" he said aloud. He turned around to leave and then stopped after several paces. He half smiled as if he won a contest of wits with himself and decided right then that he couldn't be scared. He had to face this head on or it was only going to get worse for everybody.

Morgan took a deep breath and headed back to the Reid's door. He slowly knocked three times. As he waited he randomly noticed his sunglasses were hanging from his t-shirt collar and wished he'd remembered to leave them in the Suburban. He looked left and then right. He never ever saw a soul in that building. He wondered if Reid was the only tenant in the place. He cleared his throat as he heard the deadbolt unlocking.

Reid greeted Morgan with a very warm smile. It was absolutely infectious. Morgan grinned too. "Come in, come in…" Reid said reaching his arm out welcoming Morgan inside. When Morgan began to pass by him, Reid put his arm around Morgan's shoulders and gave him a good squeeze before letting go.

"How was yesterday after you came home? Were ya bored?" Morgan began the small talk right away.

"No, I had stopped by the library so I had plenty to read," Reid paused and thought of something else to add, placing his hands in his pockets. "Oh, and I brought some files home. I've been working… on, uh, developing geographical profiles on our open cases, taking notes… Some other unsolved cases too."

"Oh?" Morgan said looking around Reid's place. It was a bit untidy compared to when he was there last. It made Morgan think he'd been up all night working that genius brain of his. "You alright?"

"I couldn't sleep..."

"Everything else alright?" Morgan's head was slightly cocked, his eyes squinting and his jaw clenched.

Reid dismissed Morgan's concern with a laugh. "Yeah, sure." Reid knew that Morgan was really asking if he had used in the last 2 days. He hadn't. And that was one of the reasons why Reid didn't sleep last night.

"You look like shit," Morgan said as he pulled off his leather jacket and removed his sunglasses from his shirt collar. He searched for somewhere to place them, finally laying them on the kitchen bar stool nearby.

"Yeah, well," Reid's brow came together as he frowned toward the floor. "I didn't say it's been easy."

"I know, man. I know…" Morgan said and then paused sensing some tension from Reid. He watched as Reid pulled his hands from his pockets and rubbed his face hard. Morgan was reminded of something he had wondered about which was how the hell Reid got his hands on Dilaudid again anyway, or if he had some stashed away this whole time. He didn't want to talk about that now though. The investigator in him also wanted to snoop around, but he wasn't there for that. "Okay, Reid, we need to talk." Morgan watched Reid's Adam's apple drop and rise again. Reid always gave himself up like that. Morgan looked away which allowed Reid to flash an expression of worry before he needed to compose himself. "Don't be scared, man." Morgan sat down on Reid's couch with his legs open, his elbows on his knees. He watched Reid and waited for him to sit down beside him. Reid slowly seated himself and cleared his throat. "Reid," Morgan started.

Reid could tell by the look on Morgan's face, he was already struggling to find the right words. "Beer?"

"Yesss." Morgan sounded so grateful. Reid quickly got up and got two beers, hurrying back. They twisted the caps off at the same time and took long, refreshing drinks. Reid moved in unison with Morgan on purpose, quite amused by it. Morgan belched quietly. "Excuse me... Damn, that's better." Reid saw some pressure release from Morgan right away. He smiled and laughed a little and his eyes became transfixed on his friend. Morgan was such a masculine guy. Reid really looked up to him. "Hey."

Reid's eyes shot up from Morgan's bicep and he tucked his lips inside his mouth being a little embarrassed for staring. He almost felt like he couldn't help it. He was becoming mesmerized more and more as the moments passed. He couldn't believe Morgan came to him so quickly. He'd felt confident that it would happen, but wow… so soon? He wasn't sure if this was good or bad. Morgan's tone sounded concerning, but the fact that he was there was good. They both sat quietly for a minute, taking several more small drinks each.

"I don't know how to have this conversation, Reid."

"Oh, okay…" Reid cleared his throat and ran his fingers behind his ears. "Let's, uhh, keep it simple."

"Okay." Morgan was tapping his foot and staring at the coffee table. "How in the hell do we keep this simple?"

Reid turned his body toward Morgan and let out a short breath. "One step at a time?" Morgan met his eyes. "It's going to be…" his voice trailed off as he thought about what that meant; one step at a time. Reid had taken a very blind leap already. "I- uhh, I realize now I may have pushed you the other night and I'm sorry."

"I'm not worried about that right now."

"What are you worried about?"

"Reid, I am not gay. This isn't me."

"Morgan, this doesn't have to have a label." Reid looked downward to pick his next words and then licked his lips before he spoke again. "What I've been feeling, what happened two nights ago… It's not… It- it's… It's not what I would have- I mean…" He took a long pause, his expression verging on sad. "I, uhh… I like girls too."

Morgan laughed to himself. "You coulda fooled me." He nodded backwards in the direction of the hallway. "You weren't scared at all, man." He took a drink.

"Morgan, I-I was petrified," Reid said with wide eyes. His voice went up a few octaves. "But I couldn't let you leave without showing you…" he trailed off again.

Not 'labeling this' and knowing Reid was scared too somehow made Morgan feel a little better… safer. He did want to tell Reid how he felt up to this point. He shot a somewhat serious look at Reid then said, "Ya know, I… I just remember thinking, 'Reid, what are you doing?' and to myself, 'what are you doing?' Then things got so hot and …and …I liked it. It just all felt so… I don't know. I was nervous. Nothing like that has ever happened to me. If it had been anyone else, I would've knocked their ass out cold."

Reid let out a laugh because he didn't doubt for a second the truth in that statement. Then it settled in what Morgan had said to him. He felt that familiar sense of his forehead getting damp with tiny beads of sweat. Morgan said he liked it. Reid swallowed and shifted in his seat. He clamped his hands around the cold bottle hoping that would help cool him down and then cleared his throat, shifting in his seat again.

"You all hot and bothered now?" Morgan asked Reid noticing how badly he was fidgeting.

"Do you realize what you just said to me?"

"Yeah, I know exactly what I said."

"Is this it? Are- are we-? Are we a thing?" Reid was talking without thinking. His voice cracked on that last word.

Morgan put his hand on Reid's hand, both now resting on Reid's thigh. "Slow down…" Morgan told him. Reid couldn't even breathe, but he turned his hand over so he could hold Morgan's hand. Then he let out that breath he was holding.

"Right," he said and then inhaled deeply.

"Reid?"

"Yeah?" Reid looked at Morgan with some concern. Morgan's tone was serious again.

"What if I can't get to where you are?"

Reid knew what he meant and composed himself. "Uhh, I'll tell you the same thing that I'd expect you to say to me… which is… we will cross that bridge when we come to it, or we'll burn it."

Morgan chewed on that for a second. Could things get that serious with Reid? If things didn't work out, could they ever go back to the way things were? What was it like breaking up with another man? Would severing an intimate connection like that even be possible? No such thing existed with women. Not really.

"One step at a time?"

"Yeah, one step at a time," Reid assured. He rubbed the back of Morgan's hand with his thumb. He wanted someone to pinch him. He was expecting to wake up at any moment. He blinked his eye lids tightly and cleared his throat quietly.

Just then, Reid's cell phone rang. The noise made both the boys jump. Reid was quick to stand up and pull the phone from his pocket. "It's Prentiss." They both had a tiny bit of panic in their expression as they looked at each other. "Are you here right now?" Reid asked.

"Don't you tell her everything, but do not start lying to her," Morgan wanted to nip that in the bud.

_What does that even mean?_ Reid frowned at Morgan before answering the call. He walked off into his bedroom and Morgan stood up to wander around Reid's place. He stopped to look out the window. The sun was just making its way to the horizon. He couldn't see it anymore, the buildings were in the way, but he could see plenty of orange reflecting in the surrounding glass. He took a deep breath, not too sure about what he just signed up for. He didn't know how far he'd let this all go, but he knew he was 'curious' to say the very least. But only with Reid. He knew he wouldn't be with anyone else. What the hell was he gonna tell his Mama? He really didn't get too far into thought before Reid was coming back into the living room. "Hey, Prentiss invited us out for drinks with everybody." Reid seemed pretty excited.

"What did you tell her?" Morgan turned to look at Reid.

"About us?" Reid looked very confused.

"No, are we going out to the bar or what?"

Reid laughed out loud while he spoke. "Oh, I said I'd see if you wanted to go and we'd be there… if you wanted to go... Do you want to go?"

"You wanna go?"

"Do you think Hotch will mind?"

"Hmm," Morgan thought on it. "Nah, I think it'll be alright. I think he'd want to see how you're doin'. But you need to shower or something. At least look like you haven't been up for 36 hours straight."

Reid looked at Morgan with a very blank stare. All he could think about was how Morgan had left him the other night.

Morgan seemed to picked up on that. "I'm not going anywhere. Now hurry up."

* * *

><p>REVISED 102014


	8. Rollercoaster

**Chapter 8: Rollercoaster**

* * *

><p>Morgan and Reid walked into the bar together. Morgan quickly located the others. Reid followed, suddenly feeling shy and displaced. Now that they had arrived, he thought maybe he shouldn't have come. He was apprehensive about having to face his friends and colleagues guessing that they all probably knew he'd slipped up.<p>

Reid glanced around at the thermal energies dancing about and was quickly reminded of his lack of rhythm. As he and Morgan cut through the dance floor, Reid felt hands on his body. One firm hand grabbed his side and another loosely tugged the collar of his sweater vest. They let go as he kept walking. He gulped and straightened his clothing, trying not to look back. He could smell the perfume, the sweat and the alcohol in the air causing him to scratch at his nose. Morgan glanced behind him to see if Reid was keeping up. He had a huge grin. Reid quickly realized Morgan walked them through the crowd on purpose.

When they reached Hotch, Prentiss, JJ, Rossi and Garcia there were loud greetings and laughter. Reid watched as Morgan got a hug from each of the girls, shared a nod with Rossi and shook Hotch's hand. Then everyone looked at Reid. Prentiss was the first to reach out to him and he awkwardly moved closer to her and leaned in for the hug. He could feel JJ rubbing his arm as he was pulling away and then she stole a hug from him too. He wasn't surprised to see Garcia there, waiting for her hug next. "What do ya say, fellow genius? Let's make Derek Morgan jealous!" Reid's expression was priceless. He glanced at Morgan first before he awkwardly shared a very tight hug with Garcia.

When he and Garcia parted everyone was still looking at him. "What?" Reid asked.

Morgan chimed in because no one else would. "You just turned ten shades of red, my man."

"Okay, okay…" Reid said blushing even more.

While Reid tried to defeat his slight embarrassment, he overheard the girls making plans for a bathroom break. He felt Morgan come up behind him and squeeze his shoulders. "You're our family, Reid. We all love you, no matter what." Reid smiled to save himself from expressing his minor annoyance and tried to shoo Morgan away. He felt like he was being babied a little. Morgan left and Reid watched as the girls walked away in a group. Reid nodded at Rossi and then let his eyes meet Hotch's. "Hey, Hotch."

"Glad to see you could come."

Reid let out the breath he had been holding and with a bit of relief, smiled and sat down across from Hotch.

"We all can use our friends on a Friday night," Rossi said to filter the moment on through.

Reid nodded in agreement then peeked around over his shoulder. It was really packed tonight. He felt a little overwhelmed and didn't quite know where it was coming from. Being here never bothered him before. Hotch began to tell Rossi a story about his son, Jack. Reid smiled along, but he could hardly pay close attention while feeling so apprehensive. The girls came back with big smiles, laughing at whatever girls laugh at and sat down at the table next them. He couldn't see Morgan anywhere. Feeling a tap on his shoulder, he turned around and saw a waitress.

"Can I get you anything, hon?" She had bright blue eyes and her skin shimmered under the lighting.

"Oh, just some water please," Reid said.

"We'll take another pitcher," Hotch motioned.

"Sure thing, boys," she said. Reid couldn't help but think she was pretty. She was definitely southern, having a Texan accent. She had a beautiful smile and she was blonde, like Lila. Reid shook his head. _Where did that come from?_ He watched the young woman as she took another pitcher order from Prentiss, then he dismissed her from his thoughts.

Reid felt his shoulder being clutched onto again. It was Morgan, leaning over him to steal a drink from Hotch's mug, using Reid as a brace. "Time to go get my freak on!" he said. "See you out there?" Morgan teased. Hotch and Rossi grinned at Reid who knew that tease was meant only for him. Reid quickly spun around to see Morgan landing next to a gorgeous woman on the dance floor. Then JJ, Prentiss and Garcia all screamed in excitement.

Reid felt envy. He felt jealousy. He couldn't watch so he turned back around.

The rest of the evening was much of the same. Prentiss caught Reid in the hallway on his way to the restroom. She wanted to make sure he was doing okay. He confessed he hadn't slept for going on almost 2 days now. Her eyes were so sympathetic and her hand reached out to his arm, giving a reassuring rub. "You and Morgan seemed to be getting along better."

"Yeah, umm," he pressed his lips together, holding in a smile, "Yeah, everything's fine."

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" she tried to persuade him.

Reid shook his head. "No, everything's fine," he repeated.

Prentiss gave him a look like she knew better, but she also knew he'd talk when he wanted to, if there was anything that was on his mind. "Oh! I almost forgot. I took these from Morgan earlier." She pulled keys from her pocket. "His idea, just in case."

* * *

><p>Reid and Morgan ambled down the hallway towards Reid's apartment as it was nearing midnight. Both were quiet. Really quiet. The kind of quiet that's not unlike the calm before a storm. Reid turned the key and they both stepped inside the silent and still space. No lights were on. Reid walked straight across the way and turned on his desk lamp. He could feel the air around them changing. It made him nervous. "Do you… uhh… Do you want to stay the night?" he asked Morgan.<p>

"Huh?" Morgan seemed to be lost in thought, not paying any attention.

"You had me drive. Maybe you shouldn't drive home? You can stay here?"

"Yeah…" Morgan headed to the couch.

"I'll take the couch. You can have my bed." Reid wanted nothing more than for Morgan to have a good night's sleep tonight.

Morgan didn't answer right away. He was still hovering around the couch.

"I-I know you must be tired. I don't mind sleeping on the couch."

"Reid, just shut up."

Reid frowned, uneasy and not sure why Morgan was annoyed. He certainly wasn't drunk. He'd seen Morgan tipsy before. This wasn't that. And now Reid was afraid to say anything more. He stood with his hands in his pockets and watched as Morgan emptied his belt of all its devices. He heard the gun being set down onto the coffee table. Then Morgan turned his head to let Reid know he felt like he was being watched which made Reid look away instantly.

Reid cleared his throat and hustled to the door, making sure it was locked. He left the desk lamp on. And without another word to Morgan, headed to his bedroom and closed the door.

Reid wet his tooth brush, added some toothpaste and began brushing his teeth like he was on a mission. In his mind he kept telling himself something was really wrong. He had no idea what it was. Since going to the bar, the night had been so uneventful. For him. Maybe something happened with Morgan? Maybe he just didn't feel good and didn't want to be bothered. Reid spat out the foamy mess in his mouth and continued brushing. He brushed until he was satisfied and then spat it all out again, some dripping down his chin. He took a handful of water in his hand, swished and rinsed his mouth out, wiping his chin with his wet hand. When he caught his reflection he averted his eyes, not liking how tired he looked.

He began emptying his pockets onto the small counter space. He still had the keys to the SUV. He looked back to make sure the door was closed. He wasn't used to someone else in his place, especially at night. His cell phone beeped. It was an incoming text from Prentiss. She was checking in. He texted her back that he and Morgan had made it back and to have a good night. Right after he hit 'send' he thought maybe he shouldn't have mentioned Morgan. Prentiss was gonna figure this all out if he wasn't more careful.

Reid washed his face and pulled off his vest and tie. He suddenly felt as exhausted as he looked. He could feel how heavy his eye lids were. He gathered as many of the loose items he could and opened his bathroom door, only to find Morgan standing there. Most people would have screamed or jumped, dropped everything… but Reid was as calm as calm could ever be… on the outside. On the inside, when Morgan was suddenly in front of him, he thought his heart had actually skipped a beat. An uncomfortable single ping-like sensation, filtered outward from his chest, up his neck, down his back and away, down his arms. He became flush with his own heat again as he stood motionless in the doorway and waited, not sure what was happening.

Morgan was just standing there, grinding his teeth, working his jaw muscles, staring at Reid. "Spencer," Morgan started. Reid loved that. It sounded a little foreign, but he loved that Morgan had just said his name. "I don't ever… wanna have to burn any bridges with you."

Reid's mouth opened, but he couldn't find his voice to even begin to say anything. He had no idea what to say. He didn't understand. He begged with his eyes for an explanation. And then something changed in Morgan's face like he was telling Reid he was sorry. Reid fought the tears that were threatening his composure. "Don't do this," was all Reid could muster. Morgan looked away. Reid could tell Morgan was arguing with himself. He stepped by Morgan to put the items in his hand onto the nightstand. Morgan watched him, considerate and waiting, like he wanted to talk. "Morgan, what's wrong? What happened? Did I do something?"

Morgan rubbed his hand over his head and sighed. "Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?"

"Blame yourself." Morgan was irritated again already.

Reid ignored his question. "Something must have happened in the last 5 hours and 23 minutes and… and-and," he stopped and restarted. "Morgan, talk to me. Whatever it is, just… pleeease, talk to me."

"You wanna know what happened?" Morgan snapped at Reid, barely waiting for him to finish.

Reid took a deep breath feeling that negative energy building up inside of Morgan. "Yes. Please." He licked his lips, leaving them parted as he breathed from his mouth.

"I got reminded tonight that I love women. I love the way they sound. I love the way they move. I love the way they smell. I love the way they taste." As he went on, the more resentful he sounded. "I love breasts. I love pussy. And I love making sweet, passionate love to women."

Morgan's sudden shift bothered Reid and the fear of rejection tapped on his shoulder again, causing his defenses to go up like armor plating. Reid felt like Morgan was rubbing all of this in his face because he could have any woman he wanted. Why _would_ he choose to be with Reid?

"Then why are you here?" Reid sniped. "Either you want to be with me or you don't." A moment passed with neither of them saying anything. Morgan just couldn't understand why Reid thought this was so simple. Reid took a very deep breath before he continued. "We're both attracted to women. That was never a question. You don't have to prove yourself to me, Morgan." Reid maintained eye contact with Morgan, but still watched him very carefully trying to read him. He just looked mad. Angry. Like he was fuming and holding it all in. Just earlier that day, Morgan wanted something more for them and now he was back peddling. Reid knew he was afraid to move forward with their relationship, still grasping very tightly onto anything that made him feel like his heterosexual self.

Morgan's eyes moved left and right toward the floor and he placed his hands on his hips as he became lost in thought. Reid stood with him, patiently waiting. For what, he wasn't sure. "I, uhh.. I'm just gonna go home, Reid," he finally said.

"What? No," Reid pleaded. "No, Morgan. You don't have to leave." His hand landed on Morgan's forearm and squeezed, but Morgan pulled his arm away.

"Where's my keys?"

Reid knew exactly where they were, but Morgan didn't need to know that. "I don't know."

Morgan turned around shaking his head, knowing that Reid was lying through his teeth. He stepped out of the bedroom having the mind to catch a cab or walk home at this point. "Unbelievable," he said to himself.

Reid was getting a little pissed. Morgan wasn't listening to himself. Reid followed closely behind him. "You know what? Never mind. Go ahead, Morgan. Run away."

Morgan stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned around so fast that Reid ran into him. "Watch yourself," he threatened, face to face just inches from Reid. Again, the look on his face should have scared Reid, but it didn't.

"No," Reid refused. "Morgan, stop fighting it."

Morgan rolled his eyes and turned back around continuing his attempt to leave. He didn't want to, but he didn't feel like he could face this yet. Earlier he felt different, but right now, everything felt wrong. He couldn't ignore it.

In two strides, Reid had a hold of Morgan's hand and pulled him to a stop. "Reid, I swear to God," Morgan said just above a whisper as he turned. The very second they were facing each other Reid took Morgan's head in hands and smashed his lips against Morgan's. Reid fully expected him to pull away, but he didn't. A whimper left Reid's throat as he breathed out through his nose. He opened his mouth against Morgan's lips and cocked his head. Morgan kissed back.

Ignition.

Reid felt it and he could feel it in Morgan. An even louder whimper escaped Reid, something between elation and desperation. He let Morgan's tongue explore the inside of his mouth, needing to taste him. Morgan's hands landed on Reid's lower back and that sent his blood racing to his groin as Morgan pulled them together. The heat flared between them as they pressed their centers against each other. Their kisses became sloppy and wet, uncontrolled and needful.

Morgan pulled away and he and Reid looked at each other, breathing heavily. Morgan restarted the kissing, somethin' hard and deep. Reid's shaking hands and trembling fingers tugged and pulled at Morgan's belt, undoing it.

Reid could feel Morgan's hands on his chest now. He began pulling away from Reid again, but Reid kept trying to keep the kisses going. "Reid, stop." Morgan's request fell on deaf ears. "Reid!" he said louder, grabbing at Reid's hands. Reid tried one more time to kiss Morgan. That was a mistake. In one swift thrust, Reid felt pressure on his chest and he went flying backward into the wall. He cried out as his back and shoulders slammed into the hard surface.

"Christ, Reid! Slow the fuck down!"

Reid almost fell from the sheer force of the impact, having the wind knocked out of him, but he righted himself and tried to talk through the pain. "If you would just… listen… to what your body says…" Reid brought his left hand to his right shoulder and held it there as he continued, "Let your ego rest… Stop telling yourself you don't want it, that you don't want to be with me." He winced as he gripped tight onto his arm and held it firmly against his side to keep his shoulder from moving.

Morgan couldn't believe he just did that to Reid. He looked over Reid's shoulder and saw the shadow of a dent in the wall. And there Reid was, pushing through, determined as hell, hardly phased at all.

"I gotta go," he said quietly to Reid as he fixed his belt. He turned around again, heading for the door.

"Derek!" Reid yelled out in all hopelessness.

That stopped Morgan. He heard something in Reid's voice that squeezed at his chest. He stood in place, knowing Reid was right. About running away. About everything. He hung his head, disappointed in himself, frustrated to beat hell. He could feel Reid just behind him and it kept him from taking another step.

"I don't know if I could…" Reid hesitated due to the lump that had just formed in his throat, "…hold it together if you leave again, Morgan."

Morgan turned around and saw the fear in Reid's eyes. It forced the air out of his lungs as if a breath had been stolen from him. That kid was truly scared. He looked like he ultimately didn't trust himself. In the low light he could see Reid's eyelids brimming with tears and it broke his heart. This wasn't emotional blackmail or any type of manipulation. This was Reid crying out for help. And Morgan couldn't allow himself to ignore that. But all this uncertainty had to stop; they needed to get a handle on what was happening, one way or another. "Come here, man." Morgan opened his arms to him.

Reid moved into Morgan and they hugged. His shoulder was killing him, but Reid hugged Morgan anyway… and so completely that Morgan thought it might just be one of the best hugs he had ever experienced. Reid's arms were so long they seemed to envelop him. He hugged Reid back with everything he had. They held each other for a few minutes, neither wanting to let go.

But finally, "Alright," Morgan said softly. He began to pull away, causing Reid to squeeze him tight again. "Come on, man. Let me go."

"Never," Reid said into the top of Morgan's shoulder. He felt Morgan's hand rub his back. It lulled him and he could feel the tension easing.

Morgan forced a separation and took Reid's hand, leading him to the couch. They sat down together and Morgan put his arm around Reid and kissed his temple. "I love you, Pretty Boy. We're gonna figure this out."

* * *

><p>REVISED 102014


	9. A New Day

**Chapter 9: A New Day**

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><p>The boys had fallen asleep on the couch. Morgan was lazily sitting upright, his back leaning against the armrest while Reid had fallen asleep long ways with his head on Morgan's lap. When Reid shifted, he hummed in his sleep, slowly letting out a very relaxed sigh which woke Morgan up. Morgan turned his head left and then right, groggily opening his eyes. He looked down only to see Reid's sleeping form. Throwing his arm up onto the back of the couch, he waited to fall back asleep. He stared at the yellow glow from the desk lamp that was off to his right and listened to the quietness surrounding him. Reid's place was so quiet. So… so very quiet. He never heard the neighbors. And through the night he never heard any traffic or sirens to wake him up while he slept. The only thing Morgan could hear right now was the sound of his friend sleeping. As he listened to the long and deep breaths that flowed in and out of Reid, he looked back to Reid wondering if he was dreaming. Or maybe Reid was simply not able to fight the exhaustion any longer and became submissive to his subconscious as a blissful nothingness took him. Too tired to crave, too tired to dream... Morgan let his head ease back, feeling the slumber compelling him again. He heard Reid smack his lips and could feel him begin to stir, but Morgan kept his eyes closed… just wanting to sleep for just a couple more hours… As Reid removed his folded arm from underneath his head, Morgan froze, having to hold his breath as Reid nestled the side of his face against his crotch.<p>

This was the first time Morgan didn't feel a spark of panic.

Morgan sighed through his nose and started thinking about Reid and this whole messed up situation and it surprised him how content he felt right now. Morgan knew right then that this was okay. This… this "unlabeled" thing. He definitely wanted to give this a solid try. He knew they would just have to be careful. They would have to be careful about everything; each other, work, family… all of it. As gay as he wasn't, he knew he had enjoyed his encounters with Reid just as much. He wanted to see how far it would… could all go. Morgan also knew that to experience that journey, he would have to take another step. The 'keeping it simple plan' had some promise.

By now, Morgan knew he couldn't sleep anymore. He began stroking Reid's hair knowing he'd wake him up eventually, because even sleeping beauty here couldn't get away with sleeping forever. Morgan ran his fingertip down the bridge of Reid's nose and causing him to make a quick, quiet noise in his sleep, and shifted again, but didn't change his position. Morgan just smiled and continued running his hand over Reid's hair. His fingertips touched Reid's forehead and cheek. He also let his finger nails gently graze Reid's neck.

When Reid suddenly woke up after a few more minutes, he rolled off the couch and immediately into a standing position like a ninja. Morgan just laughed a little. "Morgan, hello," Reid said, not awake at all, pushing and pulling the hair from his face with wide eyes.

"Hey, kid."

Reid started acting like he'd just been caught staring at Morgan in the shower; embarrassed and not knowing quite what to do. He didn't know if he should not move or sit down or leave the room altogether. Reid rubbed at his face and eyes rapidly trying to clear the haze he was in.

"You know," Morgan continued, "we fell asleep on the couch together… on purpose. It's alright."

"Yeah, yeah. I remember," he frowned, having that 'angry just after waking' expression on his face.

"Anyway, I can't sleep anymore. I gotta piss and I can see daylight outside your window. Sleep for me is history."

Reid didn't respond to Morgan, but he turned around to look at the closed blinds and the light peering through along the vertical edges of the window.

"You mind if I shower?"

"Be my guest," Reid smiled shyly. "Uhh, what do you want for breakfast?" He headed into the kitchen.

"Let's just go grab a coffee or somethin'."

"Okay," Reid agreed, frog facing. He was still trying to wake up. He was also continuing to grasp the fact the Morgan had stayed the night. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Morgan leave to go use the bathroom. He could not stop the smile that plastered his face. He turned on the light and began cleaning up the kitchen just a little bit while Morgan was away.

After ten minutes or so had passed, Morgan came out of the bathroom. Reid heard him and peeked around the refrigerator and down the hallway. Morgan was just finishing securing his belt. He looked up and saw Reid. "Hey, I used some of your mouthwash."

"That's fine." Reid said stepping into Morgan's path and walking to him.

"You need to, uhh," he turned slightly to throw a glance down the hallway, "shower or anything?"

Reid thought about it for second recalling when he last showered. It was only last night, but he wondered why Morgan said anything. "Right. Yeah. I'll be right back."

Morgan waited patiently for Reid.

Reid showered and got dressed as fast as he could. He wore dark grey slacks and a white button up shirt with a dark blue tie; a bit of a contrast to Morgan's all black attire. He checked his stubble; it wasn't too bad. Morgan was sporting new sprouts of facial hair too. When he walked out Morgan was standing in the dining room area where Reid's desk was. He was looking at some art Reid had hung on the walls. "Are you ready?" Reid asked as he tucked his wallet into his back pocket and turned off the lamp.

"Been ready, man." He patted Reid on his back as they left the apartment.

Reid was amazed at the way this new day felt. Something in Morgan had definitely changed. They walked down the hallway, not in any big hurry. Reid mentioned the barista that he frequented just down the block.

As they walked down the street, they were quiet. Reid tried to think of several things to talk about, but the fact that Morgan also wasn't saying anything told him that this silence was okay. They didn't have to carry on an awkward conversation. They didn't have to crack jokes or create any sort of distractions. This was just two friends walking down the street to have a cup of coffee. Neither of them had their firearm on them either. Reid felt a bit naked without his, but he dismissed the notion that he wasn't safe at the moment. He was with Morgan.

When they reached the barista and ordered their coffees, Morgan small talked with the man who served them. Reid watched him in awe. Not being surrounded by co-workers made this possible and he took full advantage. There was just something about Morgan that made the blood in his veins race. He snapped out of it when he heard the man tell them the total and began fishing his wallet out of his pocket. He pulled out a $10 bill wanting to pay for his and he would have paid for Morgan's too, but Morgan waved off his money.

As soon as they had their coffees in their hands, a deafening boom of thunder sounded above them. Reid ducked and Morgan flinched. Both of them thought their lives had ended judging from the look on their faces. Reid had his coffee in one hand while he held his chest with the other. Morgan had squeezed his cup and saw that the lid had popped off and fallen to the ground. He bent down to pick it up and a cold gust of wind scooted the lid along the concrete. Reid watched as Morgan took a precision stab at it with his foot and smashed it. The barista handed Reid another lid who passed it off to Morgan after the old one was in the garbage right next to them.

"You guys better find some cover," said the barista. "A storm's a'comin'."

Morgan gave him an inquisitive look because the man pointed to the sky behind him and Reid. That prompted him to turn around and that's when he saw it. "Oh, hell no." He glanced back to the barista who was just smiling, safe under the cover of his coffee stand. "Reid, we gotta move."

Reid turned his head to look behind them and was shocked at how dark the sky was. "How did we miss that?" he mumbled. A rain drop hit Reid on his forehead. Then two more hit his chest, tapping against the cloth of his shirt. He looked at Morgan and saw that the rain had started to bounce off of his shaven head.

Reid's mouth formed into an 'oh' and then he immediately smiled as he tried and failed to hold back the giddiness he was suddenly feeling. "We're gonna get soaked. Do you see that?" They stared back in the direction they needed to head and there was a moving shade from the cloud darkening the street, coming right towards them. The wall of rain was becoming less visible as it approached, more than ready to swallow them.

"Come on," Morgan said and they started walking.

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><p>Reid and Morgan stifled their laughter once they got back into Reid's place. Breathing hard and soaked clean through, Reid set his coffee on the counter and flung his hands outward. He was drenched. His hair dripped onto his shoulders keeping his white button up shirt very close to his skin. "I need to go change," he said with a laugh.<p>

Morgan set his coffee down next to Reid's and followed his friend into bedroom. Reid hung a left and Morgan headed straight into the bathroom. He began pulling off his shirt as he walked inside. He didn't bother turning on the light just to ring his shirt out in the sink. While he squeezed, he caught a glimpse of Reid unbuttoning his shirt as he stood at the other side of the bed, close to where his closet was. Morgan let himself watch his friend because this reminded him of the day Reid got sick with anthrax poisoning. That was a pivotal moment for Reid that changed everything and Morgan knew that now. Morgan also realized now that the events of that day and the weight they had on Reid had now come full circle changing everything for him too. It got him thinking about what Reid wanted from him. Got him thinking about what he wanted. Feeling eyes on him, Reid looked up to see Morgan watching him. He half smiled shyly and turned around as he peeled off the shirt.

Morgan saw the bruise on Reid's shoulder blade and dropped his shirt in the sink. He wanted to go to Reid, but stopped in the door way. He didn't like that he lost control. It wasn't in his nature to be like that and every time he thought about what he had done, he hated himself all over again. He couldn't stand that he had physically hurt Reid. He couldn't stand that he even emotionally hurt Reid over and over that last few days. He didn't even want to think about how Reid had probably beat himself up and was more than likely hating himself for changing their relationship. …And his relapse. Morgan shook his head, closing his eyes and clenching his jaw. If he could take all that pain away now, he would.

Morgan took one last look at Reid's entire back, took in his slim form to distract himself from his thoughts… Skinny, skinny, white boy… He left the room to grab their cups wearing a quite smile. He saw Reid's shoes on the floor by the door and slipped his off. When he got back into the bedroom, he handed Reid his coffee. "Thanks," Reid said. Morgan noticed his posture was less confident, like he was ashamed of his shirtless self, but Morgan wasn't wearing his shirt any longer either. He wasn't sure if Reid was intimidated or just embarrassed period. Morgan walked around to the other side of the bed and plopped himself down, crossing his legs and folding his arm behind his head. "You got a nice place here," he said as he relaxed into the pillows that propped him up.

"Thanks," Reid said again and sat down on the bed. He placed his coffee on the nightstand and followed Morgan's lead with lying down. He cleared his throat and frowned. Then the lines in his forehead softened and he smiled to himself wondering what was going through Morgan's mind. He was sure it wasn't a coincidence they ended up on his bed in his bedroom.

After a moment had passed, Morgan had to ask, "Let me see that bruise on your back?" It didn't come off as a question. It sounded more like an order.

Reid turned over onto his stomach and braced himself up on his elbows trying to see it himself. "I didn't know there was a bruise."

Morgan sat his coffee down and turned onto his side, leaning on his elbow, facing Reid. He hated himself even more seeing the damage he'd caused up close. "I'm sorry about this." He stared at the purple and red bruise. He could see some broken skin and the injury was as big as the palm of his hand. Something in him wanted to nurture Reid's wound like he had with his arm. Morgan lifted his hand to Reid's back and his fingertips began to trace the outline of the bruise. He leaned down and gently touched his lips to it. He heard Reid breathe out and swallow. Morgan watched as his friend relaxed onto the bed like that was already too much for him to handle. He continued tracing the bruise feeling how warm Reid's skin was beneath his fingertips. The daylight from the window seemed to glow against Reid's 'never seen the sun' pale skin tone. Morgan glanced upward out the window through the opened vertical blinds and saw the rain was still coming down outside, but the sun was peeking through, shining down onto the building next to Reid's.

Morgan let out a breath, mouth closed… He looked back down at Reid and as he was turning his head, he noticed he could feel his heartbeat in his throat. It was beating a little harder and a little faster than normal. His eyes moved to Reid's face and saw that Reid's eyes were closed, but his mouth was moving. Morgan saw him pressing his lips together. He looked back to his hand as is caressed Reid's skin and then looked at Reid's face again… he was licking his lips. Morgan leaned down and kissed Reid on his shoulder again, though not on his bruise this time. He kissed it where he could let some of the wetness transfer from his mouth without it stinging Reid. Morgan heard him swallow again. The heat coming off of Reid was evident and his breathing was substantially louder. Morgan let his hand move to the center of Reid's back, his thumb inside the slight indent of Reid's spine, his fingers squeezing the left side of Reid's torso just a little bit.

Morgan could feel his dick beginning to swell, but he tried not to think about that. He wasn't really trying to be sexual with Reid right now and he didn't know how far he would go with this, but he wanted to see how this close contact with Reid would make him feel. Being intimate with Reid was something so new and strange for him, especially when he was at the wheel. He was definitely turned on and he definitely liked it; something was stirring inside of him just from touching Reid. He just couldn't figure out if he was really into this or if he was into how much Reid was into this… He tried to gauge his irk level and he really wasn't feeling it right now. "Roll over…" he said.

Reid let out a huge nervous breath and the bed shook slightly as he rolled over. Morgan smiled; Reid was all legs and arms. The young man held his arms close to his body, attempting to cover up until Morgan began to move them to his side, but Reid didn't want his left arm pinned between them. He swallowed and tried to look casual as he folded that arm behind his head. Morgan looked at him, his arm, his underarm hair, his side, his ribs, his nipples and that little bit of hair on his stomach that lead to…

Reid cleared his throat as Morgan looked at his crotch. "Do you want to see it?"

Morgan didn't answer.

Reid swallowed again, breathing out as the back of Morgan's hand touched his left side. It slowly traveled up ward, his fingernails sliding along Reid's ribs. Goosebumps rose on Reid's flesh and he closed his eyes… Morgan looked at Reid and saw him licking his lips again. Pretty Boy wanted it so bad, but Morgan was happy that Reid was holding back. Morgan glanced at Reid's ever growing bulge then remembered his own. He scooted a little closer to Reid, letting himself press against Reid's thigh as his hand came to a rest for a moment on Reid's stomach.

Reid's eyes remained closed. He wasn't sure if he could see and feel what was happening without cumming in his pants again. Morgan leaned down and kissed next to Reid's nipple. Reid's stomach sucked inward. Morgan kissed Reid's chest again and then in another kiss licked his nipple. Reid moaned. Morgan leaned into Reid more, pulling himself upward a little. He kissed Reid so softly on his collar bone and then rubbed his nose against Reid's shoulder, taking in the scent of his fresh sweat and the subtle scent of his deodorant. He licked just under the hairs covering Reid's underarm and then back upward to Reid's shoulder, small kisses all along the way.

Morgan saw that Reid had a hold of his own crotch, slightly squeezing and pinching at it. He slowly placed his hand over Reid's. "If you need to let go, just do it," he whispered near Reid's ear.

Reid moaned quietly and turned his head away from Morgan. He quickly pulled his hand back, leaving Morgan's hand to hover. Morgan watched as Reid tucked his hand inside his pants to rearrange his hard on; Morgan could see the tip of it just below the waistband before Reid pulled his hand away completely. He looked back to Reid's face as he lowered his hand onto Reid's clothed shaft. Morgan wasn't surprised when Reid's body responded with upward pressure.

Morgan leaned into Reid, so very close… He let his hand undo the button and zipper on Reid's pants and opened the fly like it was a set of wings. He took Reid in his hand again, feeling the ribbed cotton of his underwear under his fingertips now. Reid lifted his head to look and then dropped his head down on the pillow again, letting out a sexually frustrated grunt. Morgan ran his fingers along the inside of the waistband, pulling down just slightly… just enough to expose the head a little bit. Reid was oozing already. Next Morgan squeezed Reid's dick and then ever so slowly began to jack him off. Reid looked at Morgan with such a sense of urgency, but he remained still under Morgan's touch. Reid's mouth was drawn open as he tried to steal breaths between the rushes of pleasure. Morgan leaned into Reid and touched his mouth to Reid's, but wouldn't kiss him. Their hot breath mingled and their lips lingered against each other as Morgan gently pushed and pulled at Reid's muscle.

Reid had to hold onto something so he wrapped his left arm around Morgan, gripping onto his back. Morgan felt how hard Reid was and knew he was gonna cum soon and he kissed him, hard and deep, like he had done the night before. Reid kissed back moaning loudly against Morgan's face while Morgan's hand movement quickened as he applied a little more pressure, finishing Reid off. He could feel Reid's body begin shaking and then Reid sounded off as he came onto his stomach in four very intense spurts. Morgan continued kissing Reid's neck as the aftershocks and twitching subsided letting Reid come down from his high. He wondered if Reid always came so hard… So far, two for two.

Morgan pulled away and looked at the mess on Reid's stomach. "Morgan, that was…" Reid couldn't even finish what he was saying. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and watched as Morgan got up and stepped into the bathroom. He came back with a hand towel. He sat down next to Reid and began to wipe his stomach clean. "You wanna-"

Morgan cut him off. "One step at a time, Reid."

"Right," Reid said remembering his own words and then smiled.

"I gotta go anyways," he said with a sigh.

"What, why?" That came out a little whinier than Reid had intended.

"I don't live here, ya know," he got up and took the towel back into the bathroom. "I got plans today with one of my neighbor's grandkids. He's gonna help me build a retaining wall in an older unit I just got my hands on. Shouldn't be too long, I'll come back tonight if you want."

"Grandkid?"

"Yeah, he's 17 and bored. Thought I'd help keep him outta trouble while he's in town. He's helped me before."

"Morgan, you're such a good person."

"Nah, I just know what it's like."

Reid got up quickly and zipped his pants, but left the button undone. He disappeared into his closet coming back out with a dark blue t-shirt. "Here… Sorry, it's not a V-neck," Reid smiled. "And I'll make sure your other shirt is dry-cleaned."

Morgan looked at the shirt and was surprised to see it would fit him. "Just hang it up in your bathroom. No need to dry-clean it." He slipped the replacement shirt on with ease. "Thanks," he told Reid.

Reid just smiled again. Morgan suddenly remembered his coffee. He grabbed it off the nightstand, feeling like he needed it, but after taking a drink, he grimaced. It was cold. He left Reid to follow as he headed to the kitchen to pop it into the microwave.

"So, you don't have any plans tonight? It's- It's Saturday. I figured you'd be out on the town or something."

"Not tonight, Reid. My plans are with you." Morgan watched Reid's face redden. He liked how Reid had forgotten he still wasn't wearing a shirt. He was comfortable. And that was important to Morgan. "I do have a couple things to talk to you about later though."

"Oh," Reid's face changed expression. He went from smiling to scared in a split second. "Uhh, okay."

"Reid," Morgan started, "It ain't nothin' to worry about, man. So, don't." The microwave sounded and Morgan retrieved his coffee. "My keys?"

Reid headed to the bedroom, hurrying back with them. Morgan was already waiting at the door. Reid tucked his hands into his pockets after handing the keys over and he watched as Morgan slipped into his shoes and unlocked the deadbolt. "Bye, Morgan," he blurted.

Morgan took one last look at Reid knowing that Reid was afraid to let him leave. "See you later," he said with a grin which of course made Reid light up like a Christmas tree.

And Morgan was gone again…

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><p>REVISED 102014


	10. A Hard Line

**Chapter 10: A Hard Line**

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><p>Reid's eyes fluttered open as noises from the kitchen pulled him from his sleep. In one swift motion, he sat upright on the couch, suffering the nervous charge that vibrated through his body until his eyes saw Morgan. Exhaling in relief, he rubbed at his tired eyes and rested his heavy head in his hands for a second. He was still so fatigued. He felt like he'd never be able to catch up on his sleep. Yawning wide, he glanced at his watch. It was 6 o'clock in the evening. He had only been asleep for forty-five minutes.<p>

"How did you get in?" Reid asked. His voice sounded raw and scratchy.

"You didn't lock your door, genius… much less answer it," Morgan told him, grinning. "Got you a sandwich."

Morgan tossed Reid his sandwich, still inside the paper bag. He barely caught it, not having awesome coordination just coming out of a dead sleep. "You don't have to keep feeding me," he told Morgan, frowning. He pulled the sandwich from the bag and slowly began to unwrap it, not sure he was even hungry.

"Grump," Morgan called out from the kitchen with a mouth full of his own sandwich. "You always in a bad mood when you first wake up?"

"No." Reid's tone said otherwise.

"Don't sugar coat it, man." Morgan filled up a glass of water. "You thirsty?"

"Maybe…" Reid stalled until he smelled the meat on the sandwich. "Yeah," he decided.

As Morgan was bringing him a glass of water, Reid remembered how Morgan had spent his day. "How, uhh… How did your retaining wall project go?"

Morgan sat down with Reid and got comfortable. "So far, so good."

Reid nodded. Morgan's short and vague answer was… short and vague. Did he not want to talk about it?

Morgan was fixing to take another bite, but before he could, his cell phone rang and he cursed at it. "Better not be Hotch," he said as he removed it from its holster. Reid immediately averted his eyes when he saw the female's name on the Caller ID. Morgan silenced the call and put the phone back in the holster without saying anything about it. Reid knew that Morgan had been seeing her. Nothing serious, but they had definitely been on quite a few dates.

And there it was. The awkward silence.

Morgan cleared his throat, took a drink of water, cleared his throat again and took a huge bite of his sandwich. Reid's eyebrows rose, having already figured his friend out. He could tell Morgan was gonna avoid this subject at all costs. Morgan had always been a very private man.

Reid looked back down to his sandwich and then scratched at his head.

Morgan's chewing slowed as he watched Reid use his long fingers to wrap the sandwich back up, nice and neat as if he had never touched it. "What?" he asked.

Reid placed the wrapped sandwich back into the bag and set it down on the coffee table. "I'm… I'm just not that hungry."

When Reid pulled his hand back from the coffee table, Morgan saw that it was shaking. "You alright?" Morgan saw a dismissive, 'don't worry about me' smile brush across Reid's lips. Then he could see the sweat on the kid's face. "Reid, look at me." Reid slowly turned his head to face Morgan, but he would only look downward. "Look – at – me," he repeated to Reid. When Reid looked up, Morgan was taken aback. Reid's eyes were bloodshot and glossy, on the verge of watering.

"I'm fine, Morgan." His Adam's apple took a large dip down his throat.

Morgan wasn't sure if Reid was going through any sort of withdrawal, if he was under the weather, or what, but he thought it was as good a time as any to bring it up. "You need to call your sponsor, Reid."

"No, no… No, I don't," Reid seemed irritated at the very suggestion that he wasn't handling his addiction. "I'm fine. I'm… fine. I'll be fine." He messed up once, but that was going to be it.

"Reid—"

"No—" Reid cut him off. Morgan's head dropped in frustration. Reid noticed that and decided to say something that would suffice. "I mean, yes. Y-yes, but…"

"But what?" Morgan prompted him. "But what? Tell me how a 'but' is even possible in your situation. Tell me you're not jonesin' for another hit right now. Tell me how you get by because I want to know."

Reid licked his lips and then laughed uneasily. "When you're here…" he started." When you're here, I can face it. All of it. Everything."

Morgan shook his head. "This is one of the things I need to talk to you about… For your sake and my own, I cannot be your sole means of support on this."

Reid slightly shook his head in disagreement. "Morgan—"

"No, Reid. I can't be thinkin' that every time I upset you or every time I'm not or can't be there for you, that you're gonna get high… maybe overdose… kill yourself…"

Reid pressed his lips together and swallowed. "I-It's not like that…" he rubbed his hands against his legs. His nerves were winning. He could feel himself beginning to panic. There was so much more he wanted to say, but he couldn't compose his thoughts well enough. He knew he'd scare Morgan with his words.

"It's happened once already," Morgan said, all too quickly reminding Reid of something he hated himself for every moment since it happened. His tone was on its edge, but then he took a deep breath. "Just… please, man… I don't think you know how much pressure it is on me. You have a sponsor for a reason." He looked at Reid and glanced at the floor, just to see what Reid had his eyes locked on, which of course was nothing. Reid just couldn't look at him. "I'm here for ya, but damn… There's gotta be a line."

"…but you said—" Reid's voice cracked.

"A line, Spencer." With sad eyes, Morgan watched Reid as he tried to hold in the tears. "Reid, it's all I ask and I'm gonna make this easy for you."

Reid licked his lips and took a deep breath slowly let it out. As he turned his head to look at Morgan, a single tear fell from the corner of his left eye. He sniffed and wiped the tear away mid-cheek.

"You don't have to worry, Reid. I'm not leavin' you. I'm not gonna abandon you. Just do what you need to do get passed this and get better again. I know you can do it." Their faces were so close that Reid looked down and away, but Morgan paused long enough that Reid looked at him again. "I want you to call your sponsor right now and I want you to talk to him and tell him what happened and how you're doing." Morgan was leaning into Reid, against his shoulder, speaking sternly, but softly.

Reid pulled his cell phone from his pocket and cleared his throat. Morgan watched his hand as he scrolled through his contacts. "John…" Reid said aloud and pressed 'send'. He stood up feeling Morgan's eyes on him and walked around the front of the coffee table, then passed Morgan, slowly heading towards his room. He cleared his throat again, "Yes, hello, John. This is Spencer. Spencer Reid… Yeah… I'm sorry to bug y—… Yeah, okay… I'm, uhh… Well, to tell you the truth, I've been better." His voice trailed off as he closed his bedroom door behind him.

"That went better than I thought it would," Morgan said to himself as he checked his phone again. Two voicemails, three texts. He let out a very heavy sigh. Wait. One text was from Prentiss.

Prentiss: How's Reid? Any better?

Morgan replied: i think he's ok. not out of the woods but ok.

Prentiss: Are you with him now?

Morgan replied: i'm keeping him some company

Prentiss: Will you tell him I said Hi?

Morgan replied: Sure thing

* * *

><p>Reid stepped out of his room quietly. It had been almost an hour. Morgan turned around and gave a look to ask how it went. "Thanks for… having me do that," Reid said. He tried to convey that he really had needed to do that, but without actually saying the words. He held Morgan's gaze for quite a while longer than normal hoping Morgan would just know, just see it written all over him. Reid needed him to understand he had in fact been having a hard time and still was.<p>

"Reid," Morgan got up off the couch. "I'm proud o' you, man. Come here." Morgan took Reid's hand and pulled him in for a good old fashioned bro hug, which brought smiles to both of their faces.

They both sat down on the couch again. Some heavy air had been lifted and it felt good, but Reid had a question. "Does everyone at the BAU know?"

Morgan didn't want to be the one to say it, but he didn't want to ever lie to Reid or stretch any truths with him either. "Yeah… but you know we love you and we're all behind you."

Reid became visibly upset. He pulled his hair behind his ears and immediately became flushed with heat. The veins in his forehead were popping out and the tears were wetting his eyes again. "I'm so disappointed in myself, so embarrassed."

"No one is making any judgments, Reid, it's alright." Morgan rubbed his back. "Nobody's perfect. We just gotta make the best of every day."

"I guess," Reid said, wiping his eyes. That really didn't make him feel better at all, but he didn't want to argue with his friend.

"Prentiss says Hi," Morgan told him. "She texted me. Wanted to know how you're doing…"

Reid just smiled. Now, _that_ made him feel better.

A quiet moment passed, allowing Reid to calm down. Morgan suddenly jumped up and grabbed a bag he had left on the counter. He sat back down and handed it to Reid, wanting him to open it and look inside. "Take a look at that."

"What's this?" Reid felt remotely like this was Christmas. He smiled faintly and shook the bag.

"I wanna see the look on your face."

"Morgan," Reid started… then he opened the bag. "Oh…" Reid's face reddened and he smiled out of the side of his mouth. "Magnums, huh? Those must be for you."

Morgan smirked. "There's some 'average white guy' ones in there too." He quietly laughed deep in his throat.

"The Man… The Myth…" Reid teased continuing to look in the bag.

"The Legend," Morgan said in completion.

"And… lubricant," Reid said with another embarrassed grin as he tried hard not to laugh at the fact that he and Morgan were very 'stereotypical'. Morgan was well endowed when fully erect.

"A little starter kit for you know, when we decide. Chances are it'll happen here. Keep it. "

"I can't wait for this to happen, Morgan," Reid blurted.

"What?" Morgan asked.

"I can't wait to have sex with you."

"Really?"

"Don't seem so shocked. I know you _know_ that."

"After everything, hearing you actually say it…" Morgan was very surprised at the effect Reid's words had on him. They caught his body's attention very quickly.

"Ever since the night I told you how I felt, it's been hard to think about much else when I think about you," Reid told him.

"You've never… been with another man, right?"

Reid held back a laugh. "I've never been with _anyone_, Morgan."

"Oh…" Morgan was almost positive of that, but not 100%. The confirmation brought up some concerns for him.

"I- I hear the tone in your voice." Reid turned to face Morgan, folding his leg against Morgan's right thigh. "Trust me when I say this, but I have never been so sure of anything in my life." He looked left and then right and then back to Morgan. "If I could place a statistical percentage on this, on how badly I want you, on how badly I want to be with you… on how comfortable I would be that you would be my first… it would be an infinite number. I wouldn't be able to do it. It could not be contained within this universe."

Morgan tried to digest that. He couldn't tell if that was blind love or absolute sincerity. Knowing Reid, probably both. "And you know how we would…?" His eyebrows tried to finish that question, along with a slight motion from his hands.

"Oh, absolutely. Before I ever spoke to you, I watched- I mean, I did a lot research, I read a lot..."

Morgan's smile was too strong to hold back. "You watched gay porn."

"I- I did. I didn't limit myself to just…" he swallowed, "…to just men. I studied the behaviors of homosexual women and homosexual men and even those with multiple partners... bi-sexual and otherwise. And I found it interesting, actually. Homosexual partners seem to have this level of understanding that I didn't see in heterosexual partners. Not to say one doesn't exist, but it's- The level of intimacy… The connection was completely dif-"

"Reid."

Reid stopped speaking. Morgan always did that, when he didn't want to listen to him ramble. "There were a lot of documentaries… Science…" Reid's voice trailed off as he became embarrassed all over again.

Morgan was entertained. He smiled at Reid with pure affection.

Reid felt sticky and just wanted to wash the day off of him. He thought it would make him feel a lot better and clear his head. "Uhh, I'm gonna go shower. Do you mind? I can't stop sweating." Reid loosened his tie a bit and pulled his shirt away from his chest a couple times trying to cool off.

"I ain't gonna stop you."

Reid looked at Morgan and blushed. Morgan was sitting against the corner of the couch, his legs were spread open and his left knee was swingin' back and forth. Something about him right now sent Reid's blood racing. He swallowed as he worked up the nerve for what he wanted to ask Morgan. "Do you want to join me?"

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><p>REVISED 102014


	11. Echo

**Chapter 11: Echo**

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><p>Reid quietly cleared his throat as he stood up, running the side of his finger along his upper lip… nervous. He lightly scratched at his hairline to move his hair behind his ear and then ran his hands down his backside to smooth out his wrinkled pants. After stepping around the coffee table, he stopped next to the couch and patiently waited for Morgan's answer. It gave him the time he needed to compose himself and to shake his anxiety over this moment and what it could mean for them.<p>

Morgan got up and stood next to Reid, facing him. "You ready for this?"

"Extremely," Reid answered so confidently. "Are you?"

"I guess we'll see," Morgan said as he pivoted and placed his hand on Reid's back. They walked to the bedroom together, silent and in agreement of their next very deliberate step.

"If you're not ready, that's okay." Reid didn't want to force anything on Morgan. He almost lost him trying to push this circumstance between them along. If he lost Morgan now, over something he had the choice of not doing, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself.

Morgan shook his head a little and smiled at Reid with his eyes. "To be perfectly honest with you, I'm a little nervous," he said, but then he wondered if Reid was trying to get out of it. "You sure _you_ feel okay?" Morgan slipped into the bathroom to turn the light on and was back over to Reid without second thought.

Reid had already forgotten he wasn't feeling well. Morgan might as well have been the "hit" his body was craving because he had no discomfort now. However, he did reevaluate and then answered, "I- I'm good, Morgan, I'm good." Reid smiled and looked him in the eye and Morgan saw the honesty in his face. His eyes were still shot, but he had a peace about him that wasn't there before he had talked to John.

"Good," Morgan said softly letting his simple acknowledgement leave room for just a little bit of silence. They looked into each other's eyes, neither of them sure who was going to make the first move, because let's face it, this wasn't going to be just any shower and they both knew that. Morgan had to say it, though… "You know, we really shouldn't be movin' forward until you're better."

"Morgan, please," Although he said please, it wasn't a plea. Reid's tone said, 'Are you kidding me?' He shook his head once and glanced away from Morgan, frowning as unwelcomed thoughts bounced around in his head. Could he be this close and have it all slip away because Morgan wants to follow the "rules"? Reid immediately asked for forgiveness in his mind for the selfish thought because Morgan actually cared for him. And of course Reid would want to do this the right way, if a right way existed. But this was the one instance that he didn't want to follow any rules. Logic be damned too. Reid bit his lower lip as his eyes slowly came back to Morgan's face.

Morgan saw the look in Reid's eyes and his shoulders dropped as he sighed. Five measured seconds passed before Reid was confident Morgan wasn't going to bring it up again.

Reid looked down to their feet. Morgan was wearing bright white socks. They looked so thick and comfy. Reid wore socks that were thin and worn; one black sock and the other maroon in color. He took a small step forward while watching his feet, moving into Morgan's personal space and Morgan didn't back away. Reid slowly brought his head up. He looked at Morgan's shoulder, looked down again and then looked at Morgan's face. His eyes shot downward yet again, then landed on the wall behind Morgan and finally, their eyes met for longer than a split second. "Come on, Pretty Boy…" Morgan said so very quietly. "Show me what you got."

Reid felt his pulse surge with energy and he pressed his lips together in response while letting his eyes lock directly onto Morgan's, with no waver whatsoever. The fist made by his right hand gradually opened and he took another small step into Morgan's space. They were only a breath away from each other as Reid reached his hand out and gently intertwined his long fingers in between Morgan's. Just touching Morgan sent another surge of energy through his body that forced his eyes to close.

Reid licked his lips and when he slowly opened his eyes, he focused only on Morgan's perfect mouth. He was not able to do anything but savor this moment for just a few seconds longer. _This is really happening._ Breath left his parted lips as his eyes began to dance over Morgan's form; he was something to behold. Reid had never been attracted to another man, but he didn't think this had anything to do with Morgan being a man. This had everything to do with Morgan being Morgan. This was one of the things he had been over and over in his mind so many times before. When nothing else made sense that was the one thing that did. He always found himself referring back to it, like that very statement was his voice of reason, the only one he could hear.

Reid swallowed and licked his lips again, breathing out as Morgan's words repeated over and over in his mind… an echo that served as a compelling force to take what he wanted because it was now his for the taking. _Show me what you got._ Reid leaned into Morgan and kissed him, closed mouthed. He could feel that Morgan had moved into him too and knowing Morgan didn't pull away only willed him on. Reid brought his hands up to the sides of Morgan's face and opened his mouth against Morgan's lips, beginning to feel something take him over inside; a swirling of magic in his stomach that sent tingling sensations to all of his extremities. Pure excitement. He loved this feeling. And now he didn't have to hold back and Morgan wouldn't stop him...

As they kissed, Reid was wondering if they were going to forget about the shower and then he felt Morgan's hands fussing with his tie. He pulled away to watch Morgan's hands as they released the knot and pulled the tie apart, leaving it dangling. They kissed each other again with heavy breaths against each other's faces until their kiss broke free as Morgan began backing himself into the bathroom, pulling Reid along by his untied tie.

Under the bright lights of the bathroom, Reid squinted to protect his sensitive eyes as he watched Morgan turn the shower on and close the curtain, letting the water warm up. When Morgan was facing him again, Reid began to undo Morgan's belt. "You got me so hard…" Morgan muttered. Reid let a crooked smile slide across his face because he didn't think Morgan even realized he had said that out loud.

Reid kissed him quickly and pulled away. Morgan began to undo each button on Reid's shirt and then pulled it from his slacks, exposing the skin of Reid's flat stomach. Leaving Morgan's belt hanging and undone, Reid pulled up on Morgan's shirt and he raised his arms to help remove it. Their faces came together for another kiss as Reid took his shirt off, sliding it off his shoulders and reaching behind himself to pull it off of his arms.

Reid felt Morgan's hands at his crotch, unbuttoning and then unzipping his slacks. _Ecstasy._ His eyes rolled into the back of his head for just a second. Then he returned the favor by unbuttoning Morgan's fly as they pulled away from each other again. They took their pants off, careful not to bump heads, both trying not to laugh about it almost happening. Their socks came off next.

Morgan was the first to be completely nude, pulling down his boxer briefs. Reid had to take a deep breath as he took in the sight of Morgan's body. Ripple after muscle after wave after curve… Reid now considered Morgan to be an Incubus, though he knew no such creature existed. Reid awed at his dark skin tone. His eyes glanced over every shadow on the man's skin. He licked his lips and then met Morgan's eyes. "Morgan…" he said, "look at you…" he gulped and rubbed his hands together nervously. Morgan grinned and turned around, opening the shower curtain.

Reid tried so hard not to stare at Morgan's backside and he completely failed.

When Morgan turned back around, Reid quickly pulled his underwear down in one swoop and stepped out of them. He felt a little self-conscious knowing that Morgan was looking at his private parts for the first time. Ever. Earlier didn't count; Morgan didn't actually see much at all. Reid licked his lower lip and tucked it inside his mouth as he waited for whatever was going to happen next.

Morgan smirked at his friend and quickly hopped inside the bathtub, standing under the shower for a few seconds. The water rolled off his head in elongated beads, streamed down his face and then took the path of least resistance. Reid carefully stepped inside to join him, long legged and awkward. He glanced down at Morgan's dick and it was still very hard. He instinctively took his own in his hand and tugged on it a couple of times. The water splashed on Reid's pale skin and the steam gathered like large sweat beads on his body hair. He stood there, a bit anxious as he watched Morgan. Reid studied his tattoos and then he looked at Morgan's feet; they were perfect. Everything about him was. And his entire body looked harder than a rock. "Like what you see?"

Reid was startled from his gaze. "You're just so… I'm mean, just look at you."

"You already said that," Morgan smiled. "Look at you, man."

Reid dismissed his non-specific compliment immediately.

"I'm serious," Morgan pulled Reid under the water and stood so very close to his side. "Your eyes… your smile… that jaw line, this… neck." Morgan began tracing his finger down Reid's face and neck and continued. "Your shoulders, that collar bone…" His fingertips danced on Reid's left collar bone and then moved down his chest. "This long body…" It was almost too much for Morgan to be so close, for him to be seductively speaking and touching him. Reid could feel his arousal neutralizing his anxiety. He whimpered when Morgan placed his hand very firmly around his cock. He knew it wouldn't take much at all to climax.

Reid couldn't help but notice Morgan was the aggressor now. He had the feeling Morgan was more than ready to do this and that when Morgan was aroused it erased all his inhibitions... completely. Reid loved that, but he found it also made him nervous because Morgan was the alpha male in their duo. Reid knew Morgan could have complete control over him if he wanted it.

"Mmmph," Reid pressed his lips together and closed his eyes, letting the hot water completely drench him as Morgan massaged his dick. He felt Morgan's body touching his own and he could feel Morgan's free hand cupping his ass. Reid let the pleasure consume him as much as he could without giving in entirely. He didn't want to cum so soon, but he felt like it was going to happen, regardless of his efforts to control it. Morgan's hand was squeezing and pulling; his fingers knowing exactly how to work Reid's muscle. Reid's body quivered when Morgan kissed his neck. "Morgan," he breathed, "let go," and instantly, Morgan's grip on him disappeared and relieved Reid. He hated being a virgin right now. Morgan just had something about him that made Reid want to explode no matter what they were doing or how far along they were in doing it.

"I can't believe how easy this is," Morgan said as he nibbled on Reid's ear. "Here I am kissin' on you, we're both so fuckin' hard for each other and all I can think about is how bad I wanna be inside you."

It took everything Reid had not to lose it right then. Reid didn't want to admit it, but he like the way Morgan was speaking to him, profanity and all. It was sexy and dirty and intimate. He turned his head against Morgan's face until Morgan realized Reid wanted to kiss him. They wrapped their arms around each other and shared a very deep and passionate kiss. Reid moaned as their hard dicks pressed against each other. He knew he couldn't take any more of this. He let go of Morgan, but began pressing down on his shoulders, hoping… just hoping Morgan would know what he wanted him to do.

Morgan understood completely. He slowly kneeled in front of Reid as he took Reid's dick is hand. Reid blocked the water from disrupting Morgan as he took Reid into his mouth for the very first time. Reid looked down, his mouth drawn open as he felt this different type of wet heat envelope him. Morgan's tongue, the wetness of his mouth, the deepness of his throat… Reid's chest heaved as he felt the all too familiar tightness in his groin. "Oh, my God, Morgan," he mumbled as he watched Morgan slide his mouth back and forward against his crotch, around his throbbing and ridged dick. It was literally only a few passes before Reid threw his head back and braced himself with a hand on the shower wall. He groaned and began fighting the urge to buck against Morgan's face. At least one thrust got passed his self-control. "Morgan," he said in warning…

When Reid began unloading into Morgan's mouth, he let out the loudest moan, losing himself completely. Morgan was sure he would have fallen over if he didn't have a hold of Reid's hips. He felt Reid's body shake and vibrate in his hands and thought to himself, three for three. When Reid was done, Morgan spit his semen out into the water. He couldn't bring himself to swallow any of it. Not yet, anyway. He stood up, only to back Reid against the shower wall and kiss him. Reid could taste himself and it made him kiss Morgan deeper.

"Let's do it…" Reid said between kisses. "Tonight." They were already in the moment. How could Reid not want it and how could Morgan say No to him now?

"Alright, Pretty Boy. Who goes first?" Morgan asked between kisses.

"Uhh," Reid blinked hard as he took Morgan's hard dick into his hands and pressed it against his stomach, rubbing it. He turned his head away and Morgan began kissing his neck again. "You… Inside me."

Morgan stopped kissing Reid and reached down, shutting the water off. He was relieved Reid wanted to go first. He wasn't sure he was ready to be on that end of the deal yet. What he did know was that he wanted Reid badly. And it wasn't so strange of a feeling anymore either.

He opened the shower curtain and stepped out, not saying a word.

* * *

><p><strong>REVISED 102014**


	12. Imprint

**Chapter 12: Imprint**

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><p>Reid tried to get out of the bath tub quickly and without breaking his neck. Morgan had a knack for precision and grace when he moved. He knew that Morgan could trip and still look good doing it. Reid didn't feel so confident about himself. They both toweled off and Reid followed him out of the bathroom into the dark bedroom. "Lay down," Morgan told Reid and left the room.<p>

Reid swallowed and laid down on his bed feeling very exposed… As he waited, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He couldn't believe Morgan was walking down the hallway, his hallway, in the nude. _This is really happening._ He had to tell himself this a lot and each time it felt like the first time. All of this felt so unreal and intangible. After another moment, he saw Morgan coming back with the bag that they'd left on the coffee table. "How do you want me?" Reid asked him. He wanted to be ready and to show no fear. He didn't want Morgan to suddenly decide they couldn't go through with it.

"Reid, this isn't gonna be pleasant. It's gonna hurt like a son of a bitch. You sure you want to?" He laid down next to Reid after putting the bag on the nightstand.

The bathroom door was cracked open with the light still on and the fan running. Reid's eyes had already adjusted to the darkness of the bedroom and he found Morgan's eyes… "Infinite," he iterated from their earlier conversation.

That was all Morgan needed. He quickly put his hand on the side of Reid's face and kissed him. Then he backed off a little bit, licking at Reid's lips and teasing him with incomplete kisses. Reid smelled the lingering hints of Morgan's cologne and it immediately imprinted on his nervous system sending signals throughout his entire body. He melted beneath Morgan, feeling a hot palm pressing down on his tight stomach. He then felt a shiver race down his spine as Morgan bit at the outside curve of his shoulder. He sucked in a breath of air and cringed. "Ahh, Morgan, do that again," he whispered roughly into Morgan's ear. Morgan moved his mouth to Reid's neck, feeling Reid's body quiver beneath him as he bit his teeth down against the tender skin. While Morgan sucked and licked at Reid's neck he listened at the controlled, but trembling moan that left Reid's lips. Morgan's mouth found Reid's again and they continued to kiss, getting more heated by the second.

Morgan began lifting himself up and away. Reid felt the weight on the mattress shift and watched Morgan's shadowy figure as he got onto his hands and knees at Reid's side. Morgan centered himself on top of Reid and then lowered himself onto him with his full weight, grinding his pelvis against Reid as he continued to kiss him. Oh, God, Reid thought. Morgan felt so good. Reid breathed in and out loudly as Morgan began to slide down his body, his mouth never losing touch with Reid's skin. Reid shuddered as Morgan's lips and tongue tickled the skin of his stomach. He moved from side to side, giving special attention to Reid's prominent hip bones. Then Morgan took hold of his sides, firmly grasping Reid as he gave enveloping, heat filled, wet kisses to his abdomen.

Reid was dying for what he knew was coming next. "Lick it, Morgan. I wanna feel that again," he half whispered. Reid soon felt hot breath on his limp dick followed by Morgan's lips as they puckered against it. He moaned when he felt Morgan take him into his mouth completely, sucking until Reid's dick began to swell again. Reid squirmed and he couldn't stop. He had a hard time controlling his body movements as the pleasure from Morgan's tongue flicked and caressed at his every nerve. His knees jerked and his hips involuntarily rocked against Morgan's weight. At times his back arched and at other times, he couldn't leave his hands firmly planted. He didn't think he would ever be able to get used to such ecstasy.

When Morgan stopped, Reid relaxed and tried to catch his breath. He moaned and wiped at his sweaty face, still not believing the moment. Morgan began to push against the underside of Reid's thighs and Reid bent his legs at the knees. A rush of arousal sent warmth in a massive wave throughout his center as Morgan continued pushing Reid's knees to his body. Reid took hold of his legs, holding them loosely against himself as he anxiously waited for Morgan to do whatever he was going to do. He was drowning. He wanted Morgan to take him so badly. He wanted to experience everything Morgan had to offer him. He was so eager. He would gladly suffer the physical discomfort to be this close to Morgan, to be so intimate with him; it was all Reid had wanted for so long. He felt naïve, Morgan was trying to warn him, but he just didn't care. He threw his head back as he felt Morgan's hot breath between his legs, beneath his balls. "Oh, my God, Morgan," he groaned. Next, he felt Morgan's hot tongue and the pressure of his mouth… He could feel Morgan's nose against his sack. Another wave of pleasure rippled through him and his body jerked.

Morgan advanced on Reid again, sliding his body upward between Reid's legs, spreading them wide open. Their skin was damp from the heat they were causing each other and it made the friction perfect. He licked at Reid's nipples and bit at the skin on his chest. He felt Reid's hands on his arms. Reid pulled Morgan down and kissed him deeply. Morgan moaned as he pressed himself against Reid. Morgan left Reid's mouth and licked his long neck. He could feel Reid's hands squeezing his ass cheeks and he growled into Reid's shoulder. "Jesus, Reid, I can't believe how turned on I am."

"You? I can't breathe!" Reid nearly shouted with some laughter. "I feel like every breath I take gets caught in my throat."

Morgan laughed and began retreating down Reid's body again. He could hear Reid's panting restart almost immediately. "Man, you really are a virgin, huh?" Morgan teased. "Don't you jerk off?"

"This feels entirely different. I just have… so many," Reid swallowed and continued, "so many senses being awakened, so many emotions," he paused, "I'm aroused on so many levels…" Morgan began to travel up Reid's body once more, kissing all along the way. "I actually feel… high… I'm so overwhelmed, but I don't ever want thi—" Morgan shut him up with a long and deep passionate kiss.

Minutes passed.

Morgan pulled away and began to move down Reid's body once again. He kneeled and pushed Reid's legs to his chest for a second time. Reid kept them still, off to each side. He took Reid's hard dick into his hands to rub and squeeze it, making Reid moan. He cupped and then pressed his hot palm over Reid's balls, practically making Reid nearly cry with pleasure. He massaged Reid's balls and gently pulled and played with the hair on them. Morgan actually liked that Reid wasn't groomed or shaven. He couldn't really think as to why except that Reid was not trying to be someone he wasn't. This was Reid. Take him or leave him. After getting into position, he kissed Reid's dick, licked at it and then he kissed his balls, taking several long minutes to slowly work each of them into his mouth. Morgan loved the pleasure he was bringing Reid.

Reid's body shuddered with delight continuously as his groans filled the room. He felt the goose bumps rise on his skin as another chill swept through his body. He couldn't even hear the noises he was making, completely lost in the ecstasy. He felt Morgan's hands on his ass cheeks, caressing them and spreading them apart. He could feel Morgan's hot mouth beneath his balls again and the 'oh' his mouth was formed into slowly changed into a smile as he felt Morgan's tongue flick at his asshole. Reid never thought that would feel so good. Another wave a heat coursed through him as Morgan's tongue tickled and licked and probed against one of the most private areas of his body. Soon enough Morgan was burying his face into Reid and he wasn't holding back at all. "Mmmmorgan… that feels… so good," Reid hummed.

Another few minutes passed… "Okay, Reid… Get ready," Morgan said, under his breath.

Reid pressed his lips together in anticipation. He felt Morgan's hand on his balls again, pulling them upward a bit. Then a strange warm and wet sensation trickled downward from there, tickling him… He knew what it was. It was Morgan's saliva. Morgan's fingertip began circling, rubbing and pressing against Reid's asshole and all Reid could do was hold his breath. He had no real idea how this would feel.

Morgan told Reid to relax and began pulling Reid's knees away from his body and back down with his free hand. Reid let out the breath that was filling his chest and let Morgan move his legs. He chuckled at himself because he wanted it all, but he was jumping head first into unknown territory. His only ease was that he was jumping with Morgan. "Do you do this with all the girls you're with?"

Morgan laughed softly at Reid's unintentional implication that he was also one of Morgan's girls. "Yeah, man. Some of them. The ones who are into it." Morgan was kneeled on the bed next to Reid with his hand poised for action, but not having entered Reid yet. "Hand me the lube," he told Reid. "I don't got enough spit for your virgin ass."

"Oh," Reid replied as he reached with his long arm and grabbed the bag and gave it a soft throw towards Morgan. Reid listened with patience. He appreciated how gentle Morgan wanted to be with him. When he heard the cap close on what had to be the bottle of lubricant, he tensed up, not meaning to. When he felt Morgan's finger begin circling his ass again, he bit his lips, pressing them together and chewing on them. Morgan's movements shook the bed again and Reid looked to see Morgan ended up lying down beside his lower half. Then Morgan kissed at the side of Reid's torso as he pushed his finger into Reid. Morgan could feel Reid's muscles squeeze his finger repeatedly as it he very slowly drove it deeper. A wince left Reid's mouth. Morgan wasn't sure if it was pain filled or not. He pulled his finger back and felt Reid exhale.

"We doin' okay?" he asked Reid.

"Mmm-hmm," was all Reid said. Morgan kissed his side again, licking at the sweat on his skin.

Morgan pushed into Reid again, a little quicker. Another noise came from Reid. "Loosen up, kid," he told Reid.

"I'm trying," he whispered.

"You're squeezin' the hell outta my finger, relax," Morgan said. After a few more minutes Reid had quieted down and wasn't squirming so much. Morgan sat up and put more lubricant on his fingertips… on two of his fingertips. He lined them up and pushed them into Reid making him cry out in surprise and discomfort. Reid's knees flinched, coming together as his body rose off of the bed slightly. Morgan wasn't expecting that and tried to sooth him, "Reid, Reid, calm down." But Reid sat up putting all of his weight on his tailbone as his left hand reached down in between his own legs, latching onto Morgan's wrist, not sure if he wanted Morgan to stop or not. "Give it a second," Morgan told him. He could feel Reid's panting breaths and he could make out tiny sparkles of sweat on Reid's skin. He continued to move his fingers in and out of Reid, very slowly twisting and rubbing and then probing deeply into Reid finally causing him let go of Morgan's wrist and fall back onto the bed. "There we go…" Morgan cooed so softly. He noticed right way a calm had taken over Reid. "Feelin' good?"

"It's so distracting…" Reid swallowed. "It's—It's—I'm—You're—I feel so filled up. I don't even know how to—" he panted and licked his lips. "It feels good, but it's... it's—it hurts."

More minutes passed.

Reid tried to masturbate while Morgan's fingers were inside of him, but like he had realized earlier, he was way too distracted by Morgan's intrusion. He wasn't even hard anymore, but he was so aroused. This was all so strange and inducing.

Morgan gently removed his fingers from Reid's ass and told him to roll over. Reid did as Morgan told him and soon after he felt a gentle slap on his left butt cheek. "Ass in the air, player," Morgan teased and waited for Reid to get into position.

Reid stalled. It wasn't that he wasn't ready, but he didn't want it to happen 'just like that'. He turned completely around, still on his knees and interrupted Morgan with a kiss as he was opening the condom package. As Reid moved into him, Morgan's body swayed back, his knees controlling how far they leaned and the half opened condom was dropped onto the bed spread as Morgan cupped Reid's face, kissing him back. Once they were level again, Reid pulled back from the kiss, but then he hugged Morgan. "Do you love me?" He couldn't stop those words as they flowed from him as he and Morgan embraced.

A puff of air escaped Morgan's nose as they parted. "Uhh… Yeah, man. Of course I do. I've told you that. You know that." Morgan focused on the twinkle in Reid's eyes. "Why would you even ask me that?"

"Because... I'm about to give myself to you. I—I need to know I mean something to you."

Morgan's brow came together and he looked a bit lost for just a split second. "You mean more to me than I'm willin' to admit, Reid," Morgan said as he caressed the side of Reid's head, running his fingers into his hair and gently pulling him closer.

Reid kissed Morgan again and he would have inhaled Morgan if he only could. And if it was possible, Morgan kissed Reid harder and deeper than ever before. They opened their mouths widely against each other and simultaneously broke free of each other to continue on.

After reaching around for the condom, Morgan found it and motioned for Reid to lie down. He rolled the condom on and waited as Reid positioned himself on his stomach. "Up," was all Morgan said. Reid offered himself by getting onto his knees and raising his ass into the air. Morgan kissed Reid's back and caressed the right side of his torso as he began to position himself. He placed his hard and thick muscle between Reid's cheeks and only then remembered to be a nice guy, finding the bottle of lube that was by his thigh. He squeezed a little bit onto himself and then applied some to Reid.

Morgan began positioning himself against Reid once again. He lined his dick up with Reid's ass and began pushing. "Don't be afraid to push back," he said softly in the darkness. Reid made a noise and Morgan couldn't tell what it was about exactly, but he kept pushing against Reid. He felt Reid almost open up for him, but then his cock slipped away. He found Reid's hole again and began pushing once again. "Reid, push out a little. It'll loosen you up more." Morgan began pushing when he felt Reid do as he asked. Within seconds, the head of Morgan's dick was inside Reid. Morgan moaned quietly. He began pushing into Reid's ass again, knowing he needed to get passed another crucial point. Knowing he could hurt Reid and make this a bad memory, Morgan was slow as molasses.

Reid was remarkably quiet. Morgan only heard wisps of breath from him until he heard a quiet grunt which made him stop. He rubbed Reid's back and hips as he swiveled his hips just a little bit. He began pushing again and Reid tensed up, actually crying out as a sudden sharp pressure caught him by surprise. He coughed a couple of times saying something about a sensation in his throat. Morgan kept pushing and pushing, until something gave and he finally slipped into Reid as far as he could go. Both of them remained still, especially Morgan. He wanted Reid to have a moment to relax. He wanted Reid's ass to have a moment to make some room for him.

"Lay down," Morgan whispered to Reid who immediately began to lower his body. He lightly rested on his stomach, partly holding against Morgan's weight since he was coming down with him. Morgan rested on Reid's body and kissed his shoulder, near the bruise. Reid turned his head to meet Morgan and the two kissed. Morgan began to pull his pelvis away from Reid, so slowly… then he pushed into him again. Reid grunted at the pressure, turning his face into the pillow. Morgan pulled back again, a little further this time and then pushed into Reid's backside again. Reid winced and sucked in air between his clenched teeth. Morgan watched as Reid's hand squeezed at the pillow case next to him.

Morgan couldn't help but moan. Reid was so tight. And the spasms Reid's muscles were having all around his dick felt so good. He pulled back and thrust forward, harder this time. Reid grunted a little louder. And Reid grunting, taking him all in like he was… was turning Morgan on even more. "Ahh, fuck, Reid," he breathed into Reid's ear. Morgan pulled back again, nice and slow… Reid breathed through his nose as he anticipated more discomfort. Morgan drove into him again, harder and faster. Reid buried his face into the pillow again muffling his vocals.

Morgan rested a moment letting his cock throb inside of Reid. He wanted to break loose and fuck the shit out of Reid's ass, all the pun in the world intended, but he knew he couldn't do that yet. Reid needed to experience the pressure and depth. He began to wonder what his first time with Reid was going to be like. Just the thought made his dick twitch. "Mmph, let's get you on your back again."

Morgan so, so slowly pulled out of Reid and he kneeled as Reid got onto his back, pulling his legs close to his body. Morgan lined up his dick and easily entered Reid and leaned down onto him for a kiss. "Things okay?" he grinned and kissed on Reid some more. He then moved away, straightening his back as he took Reid into his hands, rubbing Reid's balls, giving gentle tugs to his barely hard shaft. Next, he took ahold of Reid's knees and used them for leverage as he began to move in and out of Reid, their bodies now perpendicular. Morgan wasn't surprised when he heard both grunts and moans coming from Reid. "Oooh, you like that now don't ya, Pretty Boy?" Reid could only give a groan as an answer. Morgan moved his hips faster, not hitting as deep, just slow and steady pumping.

Morgan leaned down again and kissed Reid. He felt the heat and humidity emanating from him. He rubbed his nose in Reid's hair, smelling him. He licked the sweat from his neck and then shoved his nose under Reid's arm, breathing him in and his thrusts got significantly more intense. He straightened his legs out and braced himself over Reid as he began to rhythmically pound against him.

Morgan could feel the sweat evaporate from his skin as he moved. As he drove harder and harder into Reid, he realized they never established any safe word or boundaries and if Morgan was making Reid uncomfortable, he sure as hell wasn't letting Morgan know. He listened to Reid and could only hear what had been the usual grunting, groaning, moaning and heavy breathing. He began to slow his thrust and as he did, he felt just a little bit of sweat run down his forehead. He lowered himself down onto Reid, bringing Reid's legs in, his ankles against the tops of Morgan's shoulders. He cupped his hands at the back of Reid's head and neck as he rolled his pelvis against Reid. Their mouths met and their tongues mashed together in a feverish frenzy.

Morgan stilled his movements after some time and just kissed Reid for a little while. He slowly pulled out of Reid and kneeled on the bed. He rubbed Reid's thighs as he helped him lower his legs. Resting a hand on Reid's stomach, Morgan leaned down to take Reid into his mouth again. Reid's moans were instant. Morgan got Reid hard in no time and then asked Reid to slide over. Morgan quickly took his spot, sitting upright against the pillow that he placed between himself and the wall. "Come over here," he told Reid, taking ahold of his arm.

The low light at Reid's right side seemed to kiss his skin and Morgan's eyes traced every shadow of his outline that the darkness created as it swallowed his left side. Morgan watched this beautiful man, his friend, lift his leg and straddle him like a lover would. He reached up to bring Reid's head down and they rested their foreheads against one another. Morgan listened to Reid's trembling breaths, knowing Reid wasn't hurtin', knowing Reid wasn't scared, but something about Reid felt different. Morgan kissed him and then moved his hands down Reid's back. "You okay?" he asked Reid so softly. Reid's body shuddered at his warm and secure touch.

Morgan spit a generous amount of saliva onto his hand and then he wet the condom. He lined his dick up to Reid's backside and Reid began to lower himself down, taking Morgan in all on his own. They moaned in unison and then Reid let his weight rest on Morgan. Reid delicately took Morgan's face into his hands, looked into his eyes and gave Morgan the softest kiss. Reid didn't have to say a word. Morgan knew what was happening by the expression in Reid's eyes. He felt the connection too. He wasn't as overwhelmed as Reid was by it, but he felt it. It was there. He couldn't deny it. He took the back of Reid's head and brought him downward for another kiss.

Heavy breaths ensued with this kiss as Morgan began pushing up against Reid. Morgan pressed deeply into him and Reid broke free from the kiss to cry out in pleasure. Morgan hunkered down a bit against the pillow giving Reid more room to bare down. When he did, they both moaned again. This was slow, intoxicating penetration for both of them. Reid began masturbating and Morgan could tell he was close after only a few moments. He was holding his breath in between the whimpers that escaped him. Morgan was ready to pop just from watching him. Soon, it was only them bearing weight against each other, no friction. Morgan held tight to Reid's thighs and patiently waited…

Soon enough, four for four.

Morgan felt Reid's semen hit his chest and torso as Reid called out in pleasure. First he came in spurts and then he came like a geyser, leaving a pool of fluid on Morgan's stomach. It pleased Morgan so much that Reid climaxed. It gave Morgan a sense of accomplishment. Reid leaned down and pressed his temple against Morgan's jawline as he kissed his collarbone. He lifted off of Morgan and Morgan didn't know why exactly. He selfishly thought about himself and his own orgasm that he clearly had held for a very generous amount time. "You ain't done, are ya?" he asked, hinting to Reid he too was lookin' to finish and with bright colors.

"No, Morgan," he chuckled. "I'm not done." With that Reid moved further down the bed. He carefully took Morgan's sprung cock in his hands and rolled the condom off.

"What are you doin'?" Morgan asked playfully.

Reid just smiled to himself and found the bottle of lube that was at the corner of the bed. He squeezed a healthy amount into the palm of his left hand put the bottle in the same place in case he needed it again. After warming the lubricant in his hands, he wrapped both hands around Morgan's shaft and began massaging the hard muscle. Reid didn't limit the massage to just Morgan's penis. He included the base, his balls and his scroatum. Morgan was quiet, enjoying every second of Reid's touch. Reid felt brave and let his fingertips brush against Morgan's asshole several times, but he wouldn't let his fingers linger there. Only quick caresses, no pressure.

After several minutes, Reid knelt down and sucked on just the head of Morgan's dick. His hand provided rhythmic strokes to the shaft as his tongue teased moans from Morgan. And Morgan's hips began to roll as he watched Reid with hungry eyes. "Ah, fuck, Spencer," he groaned. "Mmph," he placed a hand on the back of Reid's head and pushed down a little. Reid understood and took Morgan into his mouth as deeply as he was capable. "Jesus," Morgan whispered. Reid came up for air once and then forced Morgan's member down his throat again. He took hold of the hand Reid had on his hip and squeezed his warning that he was gonna cum. Seconds later, Morgan sounded off in a wave of ecstasy as he filled Reid's mouth with semen. Reid swallowed him and then licked him clean, not wanting to waste a precious drop of this man.

Morgan's body was completely relaxed. The only sign he was alive was how fast he was breathing. Reid made his way up his lover's torso, getting reminded of his own semen along the way. He let his fingers smear into it as he licked at it. He desired more of the events this night had brought to him and he wished to experience them all night long, but the weight of his own body quickly became a struggle to maneuver and his eye lids were getting so heavy. At the very least, he wanted to get up and get a towel to clean himself from Morgan as a nice gesture and he thought about it so hard, but his brain began to win control over his body, not allowing himself to remain conscious. He did manage to find a pillow to lay his head on, but couldn't complete the task of getting on his own side of the bed. His lower half still remained lying over Morgan and the last thing he remembered was hearing Morgan sigh with contentment.

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><p><strong>REVISED 112014**


	13. Dixon

**Chapter 13: Dixon**

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><p>Reid rubbed his eyes and grumbled as he stretched, feeling the cool air on his bare toes as they hung over the edge of his bed. His mind was hazy and he let his tired eyes slowly focus on the wall and the window, but he could sense he was tired enough to fall back asleep. It was a reassuring feeling. He hadn't been able to sleep or sleep well in a few days. Closing his eyes again, he rolled over realizing the light from the window was too bright to fall asleep against. He nestled his face into the pillow, a moan escaping from his mouth for only a second before he quietly cleared his throat and swallowed.<p>

The sensation he wasn't alone told him to open his eyes and he did. He was greeted by a beautiful lion with a large mane staring him down. Only after letting the tattoo mesmerize him a moment, he faintly smiled and looked up to see Morgan sleeping peacefully. It reminded him of a Turkish proverb: "A lion sleeps in the heart of every brave man." He rolled onto his back knowing at that moment he wouldn't be able to sleep with Morgan lying right next to him. It was too exciting. All it did was make his mind race off in multiple directions.

He carefully sat up and lifted himself from the mattress, not wanting to disturb Morgan. As he stood upright, he heard Morgan stir and he cringed, holding completely still. After he peeked over his shoulder and saw that Morgan wasn't going to wake up, he tiptoed on the carpet all the way around the bed and the entire way to the bathroom. His naked body was freezing. He tried to shut the door as quietly as possible and began to get ready for the day.

When he opened the door after he was finished, he saw Morgan sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing his eyes. "Hey, kid," he said in a scratchy voice. He smiled softly at Reid.

Reid smiled back, not showing his teeth. He was thankful that waking up at his place for a second morning in a row wasn't a nightmare for Morgan. "Hey," he replied, loosening the white towel around his waist and then securing it again.

"Everything okay?" Morgan watched Reid's movements like a hawk.

Reid let out a laugh. "Why wouldn't it be?" He walked passed Morgan, to a dresser over by the window, grabbing a pair of underwear and a couple of socks. Then he stepped into his small walk-in closet.

"You got your salad quite a bit more than tossed for the first time last night. I'm just checkin'." Morgan let his body fall back onto the bed and he moaned. He didn't want to wake up today.

Reid wore sharp look of concentration as he spoke to Morgan through the wall. "That's not a very dignified way of putting it." His voice trailed off as he continued to decide on which tie he wanted to wear. "Rimming," Reid thought out loud, remembering one the prominent words from his research. "How did all the slang come about? None of it makes sense."

Morgan could barely hear him. "I don't know, man. What I do know is that I was all up in your business last night…" He laughed to himself and rested his hands on his stomach as he laid there. Something didn't feel right and he lifted his hand to look at it seeing white flakes. Then he reared up and looked at his body. He saw several dried patches of semen on his chest and stomach. He ignored the dry mess knowing he'd be showering soon. "You sore?" he called to Reid who was still in his small walk-in closet.

Reid popped his head out while tying his tie and nodded a little bit even though Morgan wasn't actually watching him anymore. "There's some swelling and things… feel a bit differently… back there, but I… I think I'll live. It'll be interesting to see how my first bowel movement goes, though I don't really anticipate a problem."

"TMI, Reid..." Morgan mumbled under his breath while covering his eyes, but then he grinned and laughed so quietly to himself. He let out a heavy sigh reminding himself he couldn't lay there forever, even if he wanted to. "What are your plans today?"

"I'm not sure. I have a couple books to read and…" his voice trailed off realizing how boring he thought his life was at home now when Morgan wasn't around. In that split second, he knew Morgan was changing him, changing his priorities …and he was letting him. His words stalled as he tried to dismiss his concern about that. "…I don't know. I kinda left it open."

Morgan could hear the hope in his tone. He might as well have been saying 'Pick me!' and Morgan smiled again imagining it. "Sorry, I gotta go home again today."

"Yeah, sure…" Reid acknowledged. He tried not to sound disappointed, but he was.

"And Trevor offered to come by again to do some work. I'm gonna take him up on that cuz he broke my damn saw. Little punk owes me now."

Morgan sat back up and got out of bed. Reid wanted to keep the conversation going, but when he looked back at Morgan he couldn't grasp onto a coherent thought. He could only watch Morgan walk into the bathroom. He was naked. Reid felt his cheeks get hot, but he couldn't look away. When Morgan closed the bathroom door, Reid went off into the kitchen to make them some coffee, smiling.

While he waited for the coffee to brew, he threw away the sandwiches they left on the coffee table overnight. Then he stood by his coffee maker, leaning against the counter and relived flashes of memory and sensation from the night before until he could pour a cup. He took his cup of coffee and yesterday's news paper with him to the couch and sat down, relaxing with his legs crossed. He frowned at most of the news he was reading.

Only twenty minutes had passed before Morgan was rushing down the hallway from the bedroom. "Hotch called."

"What?" He turned around and panic struck his chest after he saw Morgan's urgency. "What's going on?" Reid quickly scanned the apartment for his phone only to remember it was in the bedroom.

"We got twenty minutes to get to the jet."

"A case?"

"Yeah, Missouri. Let's go."

It never even crossed Reid's mind that his mandatory, off the record, time off was technically still in effect until the following day. He took one last drink of his coffee and walked into the kitchen with it, leaving the newspaper on the coffee table. He was about to pour it out, but Morgan grabbed the cup right from his hands and drank the rest of it. We're perfect together, Reid thought; a fleeting moment of appreciation. He turned off the coffee pot and practically ran to his bedroom for everything he needed.

Morgan unlocked the door and waited with his duffle bag hanging from his hand next to his knees. This was the first time Reid had noticed it. Reid scanned his place one last time and adjusted the shoulder strap of his satchel. He gripped onto his own duffle bag, but left one hand free to get the door. When he turned the knob and pulled the door open, Morgan just as quickly put his palm on it and closed it again. Reid didn't say anything, but he certainly raised his eye brows in question.

…Morgan's face.

The expression on Morgan's face was one Reid had seen several times by now and in the back of his mind he wanted to brace himself… He could tell Morgan didn't want to say what he was about to say.

"We are not a couple, just friends. No PDAs. Clear?"

Reid frowned. "PDAs?" He pffft at Morgan.

"Public Displays-"

"I know what PDAs are," Reid cut Morgan off. "But we love each other and we had sex last night. We are a couple," he insisted.

Morgan tried again. "You don't understand."

The wheels inside Reid's head began turning. "You're kidding, right?" Reid was astonished. "You _are_ kidding?"

"No, Reid, we are _not_ a couple and if you think we're gonna walk hand in hand into the BAU then you're out of your God damned mind." Morgan was calm, but stern.

Reid had to squeeze his fist around the door knob. He tried not to acknowledge how very wrong this was going; before they could even make it out the door, Morgan had managed to rip Reid's heart from his chest. He felt embarrassed for having let it happen. Had he been fooling himself? He didn't want to have this conversation because he knew it wouldn't end well if it continued. Looking at Morgan with indignation, he ignored what he really wanted to say. He pushed passed the hurt and the increasingly building anger. "Isn't there somewhere we need to be?" He jerked the door open again and it bumped hard into Morgan's foot. Morgan looked a little confused; he didn't understand why Reid was as upset as he was. They remained locked on each other until Reid could bring himself to walk out the door. Morgan was right behind him.

He watched Reid lock the deadbolt and then looked up and down the hallway. No one was around, as usual. Reid began to walk, not acknowledging if Morgan was following or not until Morgan said his name. Reid turned around with his lips tightly pursed, obviously annoyed.

"What are you doin'?" he asked Reid. "Do you need a reality check?" Once he said those words, the realization set in how much Reid was worrying him. "Reid, it's been what? It's been five days since... since… this started." His hand made a motion in the air. "It's only the morning after and you expect me to be 100%? What happened to one step at a time? What the hell is goin' on in that head of yours, Reid?"

Reid didn't say anything right away. He just looked at the wall… and then to the floor. He took a deep breath before he spoke. "You must think I'm stupid," he said as he looked at Morgan.

"No, I don't, Reid. I think what we do is no one's business, okay?" Morgan started stepping toward Reid. "I don't want questions, I don't want assumptions. I just want work to be about doin' my job and not worrying if my colleagues are talkin' about me behind my back. And I am certainly not ready to introduce you as my boyfriend. _To anyone_."

"Oh, okay," Reid nodded. His brow came together as he continued. "So this is all about you?" He could feel something coming unhinged within himself and he couldn't stop it. He didn't want to think he was so wrong to expect more from Morgan and of their relationship, and not that he did. Either way, Morgan was being a coward. Reid frog faced out of disbelief and disappointment and then he turned around, continuing his walk to the end of the hallway, shaking his head. He understood the validity of Morgan's concerns. He knew they couldn't act like a couple in front of everyone. He knew that! But when Morgan actually said they weren't a couple, all he had managed to do was rub it all in. There were still boundaries, lines, and control… He had reached the end of the hallway and found himself cringing as he felt his ripped out heart bleed itself dry when he remembered...What about her?

"Reid!" Morgan called, speeding up his pace.

Reid spun around and waited for Morgan, his expression verging on beyond annoyed to angry. "Are you gonna see her again?" His voice was weak as if he holding back the urge to yell.

"What? Who are you—?"

"Kate!" Reid shouted so loudly that they both glanced around sure that doors were gonna get cracked open to see who was yelling in the hallway.

Morgan was the one to shake his head. Reid was blowing things way outta proportion. "Fuck you, Spencer. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Reid watched Morgan as he walked away. He had to work up the nerve to retaliate. "Fuck me? Fuck _you_, Morgan."

Morgan brushed Reid off and he kept walking. "Whatever, man." The truth was, however, that he actually couldn't believe Reid said that to him. Reid would never, under any circumstance that he could think of, actually drop the F-Bomb, much less direct such a phrase to anyone. If Reid was upset enough to act like this now, what the hell was gonna happen next?

They walked down the stairs in silence and they remained quiet on the way to the SUV.

Once they were buckled in, Morgan started the rig up and tried to think of something to say, something that would help Reid understand why things weren't gonna be easy, at least not for him and not for a long while. He looked over to his friend and sighed as he rested his wrist on the steering wheel. Reid was staring out the window, tightly clutching onto his satchel. Morgan watched his hand loosen and constrict against the tan leather several times. "This was never gonna be easy. This was never gonna happen overnight. You've had time to wrap your head around this. _I haven't_. And you have got to give me some time to work through some things. That includes Kate. I'm gonna have to break a very sweet woman's heart. It's not something I'm just ready to do at the drop of a hat. Alright?" Reid kept his gaze out the window toward the sidewalk, not even acknowledging Morgan's voice. "And I'm just not comfortable with everyone at work knowing what we do when we're alone. If this is gonna work, you're gonna have to meet me half way."

All of what Morgan said should have sufficed, but Reid chose not to listen. "Can we just go?" His voice was on edge. He was done with this conversation a long time ago.

"Do you get it? Do you underst—?"

"Yes! I get it! Can we GO NOW!" Reid yelled at Morgan as he practically lifted out of his seat. If he wasn't already buckled in, he probably would've taken the opportunity to remove himself from the vehicle.

All that did was piss Morgan off and it took all he had to bite his lip. He shifted the SUV into drive and peeled out, away from the curb. They didn't speak a word to each other for the rest of the ride.

* * *

><p>Morgan texted Trevor as he and Reid walked to the small plane. He obviously wasn't going to be able to use his help today.<p>

Once on the jet, Reid found a seat next to Prentiss, not wanting to sit next to Morgan. She smiled so warmly at him. He made eye contact with everyone except Morgan.

"Did you have a good weekend? Or what there was of it?" Prentiss was referring to it being late Sunday morning and them being plucked from their personal lives to go fight crime. She spoke softly, as if purposefully trying to have a one on one, private conversation.

"Uhh, yeah. I had some… rough patches; I didn't really feel well most of it. I think I'm better now, though."

"Good…"

"I can't tell you how hungry I am. I've had nothing but coffee and water the last couple of days. I hope we can eat when we land."

"I'm sure we can get something. I know I'm starving." Prentiss paused and held in the smile in that wanted to show itself. "Hey, what happened to your neck, Romeo? Did you meet somebody?"

Reid's heart jumped out of his chest and his hand went to his neck. "What are you talking about?"

"It looks like a hickey, Reid," she whispered.

Reid pulled up on his collar to try to hide it. He wished he had his scarf. He cleared his throat nervously and fidgeted in his seat. "Uhhuh," his voice cracked. "I don't know. I'll have to look at it later."

"Mmm-hmm," she smiled knowingly.

Reid happened to glance at Morgan and saw the hint of a smirk on his face. _Did he hear that?_ _Did he think it was funny? And after the big deal he made this morning?_

"What do we got?" Morgan began once they were in the air.

"Not much," Prentiss answered.

"Three children found dead early this morning in a home in Dixon, Missouri. The guardian, their 23 year old sister Lyndell, is nowhere to be found," Hotch informed everyone.

"We're not sure yet if she's a victim or the unsub," Rossi sounded, his heart already heavy. "We have no ransom note and we have found no blood of hers in the home."

"No credit card or cell phone activity at all," JJ said.

"Dixon is such a small community; their population was only 1,634 in July of 2009."

"That means there's a good chance somebody saw something or knows who's behind this," Morgan said right behind Reid. "You cannot have a small town like this and no one have seen or heard anything."

Reid frowned at Morgan taking his lead.

"How were the children killed?" Prentiss asked out loud looking at the file. "Oh…" She looked at three photos and then closed the file slowly.

"What happened to the parents?" Morgan asked out of curiosity.

"That, my dear friends," Garcia said over the computer speakers, "is another sad, sad, tragic tale of events in this family's seemingly cursed lives." Everyone turned their attention to the laptop at the table.

"Hey, Baby Girl," Morgan grinned at Garcia. He had missed her.

"Oooh, hello future father of my-"

"Garcia, what happened?" Hotch pressed. Morgan sat beside him, grinnin' like a son of a bitch.

"Yes, sorry. Mom and Dad were on their way home from their 15th anniversary dinner at a local restaurant and were hit and killed by a drunk driver. That man is still in prison. It was his 3rd DUI."

"Is there a boyfriend in the picture? What does she do for a living?" Prentiss asked. She didn't like having so little to go on.

"I wonder how she has been coping with the stress—" Reid thumbed through the file and looked for a specific date regarding the parents' deaths. "Uh- Garcia, when did the Mom and Dad die?"

"It was almost two years ago." Garcia answered.

Everyone began to do the math. "Is Lyndell from a previous marriage or did they marry after her birth?" Morgan asked.

"Her Dad is listed on the birth cir— Ohhh."

"What?" everyone asked in unison.

"I'm sorry. Her father is listed as one 'J. Campbell Anderson'. The father who died is a 'Jeffrey No Middle Name Anderson'. They are not the same man." She paused for dramatic effect. "They are brothers."

"The plot thickens?" Prentiss asked with a confused look on her face. "Is this relevant?"

"We can't rule anything out. It's too soon to tell," Rossi thought out loud.

Prentiss nodded, his correction respected and appreciated. Rossi was right.

"Why is he not the guardian?" Morgan asked everyone.

"Unfit," Garcia chimed in. "He likes to visit the local PD during more than just the holidays."

"The stress she must have been under…" JJ said.

"I'm— I'm with JJ on this. I'm wondering if she didn't just snap." His eyes shot a passing glance at Morgan. "This might not have anything to do with anyone else," Reid countered.

"I don't see her killing her brother and sisters," Prentiss added. "And if she did do this, why use a gun? She could have drowned them or drugged them. A gun is so cold and impersonal. And the oldest, I'm sorry, but she was butchered. She's the only one this person used a knife and a gun on. Maybe two assailants? Why the overkill?"

"…Because she fought back," Reid swallowed and then looked around at his colleagues. He caught Morgan looking at him and quickly averted his eyes. The conversation went on, but Reid remained quiet, reflecting on everything Morgan had said to him during their argument.

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><p><strong>REVISED 112014**


	14. Budget Cuts

**Chapter 14: Budget Cuts**

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><p><strong><em>WARNING:<em>** Please be advised the crime scene in this chapter may be too graphic for some readers.

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><p>It had only been thirty minutes into the two hour drive. Reid took the last bite of his recently acquired sandwich followed by a long sip of his water. He knew drinking a lot during a meal wasn't great for digestion, but he felt so dehydrated. He sat in the back seat with JJ as the team drove from St. Louis to Dixon, Missouri. Hotch was behind the wheel and Prentiss sat shot gun. Morgan and Rossi had taken another rental car and were following close behind.<p>

"These Ford Fusions are pretty nice," JJ said looking around with a curious eye.

"You know," Reid began just after swallowing his bite, "one of the reasons why this hybrid model is so efficient in its fuel economy is because it uses the Atkinson cycle instead of the Otto cycle."

"Neat…" JJ said, cringing at Prentiss.

Reid continued, "The intake valves of the internal combustion engine in this car stay open longer thanks to the cycle's design. It trades off torque for efficiency and that loss in torque is made up by the low-end torque from the electric motor."

JJ just smiled at Prentiss who was looking back at her with a big grin.

"We sure missed you, Reid." Prentiss let her smile slowly fade and she sighed. Reid watched from the back seat as Hotch looked over to her with a slight smile. Reid felt the love from everyone and it pushed against his chest, but he felt comforted by its weight. These people were his center, his anchor. He loved them back because they were his family. Morgan and Rossi included, of course.

They finally arrived at the house where the murders had taken place at about two in the afternoon. The four of them got out, stretched and then grouped together until Morgan and Rossi pulled up in a black Fusion just like theirs just a few minutes later. Reid watched as Morgan got out of the car, but he had to look away. Seeing him made Reid wish they were alone so he could try to apologize about their earlier argument.

Although Reid had his back turned, he could hear Morgan and Rossi approaching. Morgan's footsteps sounded firm and deliberate. Rossi's sounded relaxed and soft. The moment he felt a hand grip his shoulder, he knew it was Morgan; he could never mistake his touch now. And the second Morgan's scent tickled at his nose, Reid wanted to melt. It made his knees weak and it made his heart thump out of rhythm.

While everyone was engaged in small talk, Reid made himself look at Morgan and the two gazed at each other until Reid felt Morgan's hand slip away. It was only seconds, but Reid thought it felt like quite a bit longer. The look in Morgan's eyes had reeled him in completely and time had just stopped.

They all began walking into the front yard of the home.

The local law enforcement went over the perimeter of the home with Morgan and Hotch. Rossi went into the back yard with another cop and Reid stepped into the home with JJ and Prentiss. He listened very carefully to the details from the cop who had updated them. It had been established that Lyndell's 2001 dark blue Volkswagen Jetta was missing from the driveway, but her purse was in the home, seemingly in its place and untouched. There was no forced entry from either the front or back entrances of the home. No sign of her car as of yet. These children were killed at approximately 10:30pm last night and their bodies were discovered this morning at 5:30am after an anonymous phone call was placed that was traced back to a disposable cellular phone.

After looking at the kitchen, the living room, dining room and the bathroom, Reid and his two partners walked into the room of the middle child that had been killed. Aside from the obvious, nothing out of the ordinary caught either of their attention. This room belonged to the young boy. He was seven and liked football and model airplanes. His dead body lay beneath Captain America bedding, a bullet to the back of his head as he slept. There was no indication he saw it coming. They all took a moment to mourn for him and moved onto the next room.

Down the hallway, the tone changed from male to female, from blues and browns to pinks and purples. The room of the youngest child was bright and colorful. Reid made note of the ballerina slippers and tutu hanging from a hook on the closet door and the water color art on the walls. He saw a teddy bear on the floor next to the bed and the arm that hung over the bed's edge just above it. He squinted as he watched Prentiss and JJ quickly sweep through some belongings. This murder was just like that of the boys. A single bullet to the head and she never saw it coming. However, by her position, Reid was sure she was alive just long enough to drop that teddy bear. He sighed. This was ugly and it made his stomach feel like it had butterflies in it.

Only one 9mm casing had been found so far. And it had been found in this room. "Either we have more than one unsub or this person used a suppressor," he thought out loud as he studied the forehead of the deceased five year old. "They would have ran or found a place to hide after hearing gunfire."

The oldest, a seventeen year old, wasn't found in her bedroom, but the three profilers made their way into her room and saw that a struggle had taken place in there. The bedding was on the floor. A fallen book shelf nearly blocked the door. It had a hole in the back where someone had stepped on it to get over it. A small lamp had toppled over and it was wedged in between the bed and nightstand. Prentiss and JJ once again began rummaging through things, items both out in the open and put away.

Reid left the room and began following the large blood smear on the floor that started just up the hallway about ten feet ahead of him and into the laundry room. There she was. There were two technicians getting ready to move her and Reid asked if he could see her before they did; the images they had been provided weren't high quality. They pulled off the sheet covering her and he had to look away and clear his throat to soften the blow of what he had just seen.

Reid generally had little to no reaction to dead bodies or body parts, but… this… it had thrown him. Her right ankle was broken rendering her incapable of running from her attacker or attackers. He glanced at the walls surrounding him and saw blood spatter everywhere, both low and high. She was nude with defensive cuts are arms. There were additional cuts and stabs to her back and needless to say, there was blood all over on her body and a pool surrounding her where she had bled out. Her hair was short and choppy with a purple streak down the right side. She too was shot in the head near her temple and her eyes were lifeless, clouded and wide open. Reid nodded to the technicians and struggled to swallow against his dry throat as he began to step back. When he turned he saw Morgan walking up the hallway in his direction.

"Is it bad?" Morgan pulled off his sunglasses and gave Reid a sympathetic look. He could tell his friend was disturbed by what he'd seen. "Still no sign of what happened to Lyndell?" he asked Reid directly, trying to distract him from his thoughts.

Reid just slowly shook his head. "Besides the murders themselves and this girl's bedroom, there's nothing remarkable here." He felt Morgan's hand on his back and it felt good because he felt sick. "Do you ever just… want to do something else with your life?" His wet eyes glanced over to the technicians as they began to prepare the girl's body for transport before he slowly brought his eyes back to Morgan. He looked dazed.

Morgan understood his friend with every fiber of his being. "Every day, man. Every. Day." He took Reid around the shoulders and began leading him out. "Let's get you some air." Morgan glanced into the room where Prentiss and JJ were as he walked Reid out.

Prentiss and JJ stood at the doorway and watched Morgan and Reid stepped out onto the porch. "Something is definitely going on between those two. I think they keep butting heads over something. Reid won't tell me." Prentiss mumbled quietly.

"Maybe it's over his relapse," JJ suggested.

"Could be…" Prentiss nodded still watching Reid and Morgan until they were out of sight.

"Did you see him? He looked like he was gonna cry," JJ said to her partner with wide, concerned eyes.

Prentiss remained silent as she stood there and worried about Reid.

* * *

><p>This case will consume this small town if it isn't solved quickly, Reid thought as he stood with his hands in his pockets next to Morgan at the center of the front yard. There were already some news crews lined up behind some barricades. They watched all the continuing police activity as a warm breeze swept into them and they both looked up at the dark and cloudy sky. "We're gonna get caught up in another storm," Reid mentioned as he thought back to Saturday morning: he and Morgan on his bed, Morgan kissing him, Morgan touching him, Morgan bringing him to orgasm. Reid cleared his throat, feeling self-conscious as his core temperature centered itself in his groin.<p>

"Yep." Morgan was thinking back to Saturday morning too. He recalled wrapping his hand around Reid for the first time and his eyes closed. He remembered how Reid's smooth skin glowed from the light of the window and how warm it felt against his lips. He also remembered how turned on Reid was and how arousing it was for him to be able to pleasure Reid, expecting nothing in return.

Reid didn't let himself reminisce for very long at all. "Seeing bodies… has never really upset me… before," Reid stared at the ground ahead of where they stood, "and I just can't get it out of my mind that after we were together, this happened to them." Reid never looked at Morgan.

Morgan pulled himself back into the here and now. "Reid, this isn't some bad mojo and it's certainly not the butterfly effect. Someone wanted them dead and they killed them."

Reid just continued to stare at the ground. He fought the urge to begin discussing chaos theory with Morgan. Hard. "I know, but not that really… I just… I feel guilty. I was the happiest I've ever been last night. Then…" He paused and gently kicked the grass with the toe of his right shoe, "Then to come here and see this… I feel like I'm seeing things with different eyes today."

Morgan watched Reid for a minute. He watched him lick his lips and leave his them parted as he breathed in. He watched Reid squint and wrinkle his nose as the wind tossed his hair around. Morgan could only think of one thing that would make Reid so suddenly bothered by things that he never use to bat an eyelash at.

No time for that talk right now, but he did have one question that had been burnin' a hole in his gut since they'd landed. Morgan glanced at the surrounding company. No one special. No one close enough to overhear them. "You still mad at me?" he asked Reid. "I'm really sorry 'bout this mornin'," his head was facing down, but he was looking up at Reid. Morgan may have even been pouting, but he had no time to tell. As Reid lifted his head, getting ready to formulate a response, he saw Hotch and Rossi walking up to them.

From behind them, JJ and Prentiss stepped into view and Reid's eyes immediately tried to see what Prentiss was holding in her gloved left hand. He had already moved on from Morgan's question, not intending to answer it any time soon. When they were all facing each other, she held up the positive pregnancy test in a clear evidence bag. "Lyndell's room is immaculate, but look at what we found in the bottom of her bathroom garbage…"

Hotch's phone rang. It was Garcia. "You're on speaker."

"Hello, my lovelies… I have some news…"

"What is it?" Hotch asked.

"Budget cuts. I could only book you three rooms."

"We'll figure it out, Garcia. Anything else?" Morgan said.

"I've got a little bit. Nothing urgent. I'm compiling it now and sending it your way."

"Can you try to figure out who Lyndell's boyfriend is from her phone records?" Prentiss asked.

"I can do that! Over and out!"

"Let's meet at the station in thirty minutes," Hotch told everyone as he holstered his phone.

* * *

><p>"Where have ya been?" Morgan asked Reid.<p>

"I was in the rental car… talking to John." Reid's confession came with some apprehension. He avoided meeting Morgan's stare, actually turning his back to him as he shut the door and locked it.

Morgan hated to think he had once again triggered anything for Reid and wondered what the right thing to say was. Should he ask Reid if he was okay? Should he not say anything at all? Morgan waited for him to turn and face him so he could read him. The flash of lightning through the blinds caught his attention and he listened for thunder… He heard nothing. The cold breeze that followed Reid into the motel room gave him a chill.

When Reid turned back around, he smiled at Morgan. A nervous smile. His hair was damp and windblown and his sweater vest was wet on the shoulders.

"I'm here if you need me." He knew he had just contradicted himself by saying that, but it was the truth. "I can't be your backbone, but I can help hold ya up."

"I know," Reid said. Morgan was relaxed on the bed, his body long and lean. He had the remote in his hand with his other arm folded behind his head. Laughter from the next room caught Reid's attention. He even heard it over the music playing on the TV. "Is that—"

"JJ and Prentiss," Morgan hissed. "They've been gigglin' all night. I got no idea what they're up to. I think they're drinkin'."

"Hmm," was all Reid chose to say. He wasn't sure if it was a bad thing or not. He did know that he didn't care. He only cared about Morgan right now.

"If they wake me up tonight, I got no problem kickin' their door down."

"Who says you're going to be sleeping?"

Was that a mischievous grin on Reid's face? Two can play at this game. He nodded once at Reid, "You hungry? I got some tube-steak smothered in underwear right here." Morgan pointed to his crotch with both of his index fingers.

Reid laughed and made a face. "No way, that sounds disgusting." He wiped his nose with the side of his hand and turned his head toward the TV. The music had begun distracting him, but he managed to say just above a whisper, "Gross. That just sounds so gross," more to himself than to Morgan.

Morgan grinned. He was just messin' with Reid. Back to business, though… He turned up the TV, feeling spiteful at JJ and Prentiss. Reid bent down to read the screen liking the melody from the guitar strums. The song was called True Love Waits and the sentiment of the title made him beam on this inside. It reminded him he needed to be patient with Morgan.

"Radio…head. Do you like Radiohead?" Reid had never heard of the band and thought Morgan was into different genres than what this sounded like.

Morgan shrugged. "It's the only channel that isn't cuttin' out with the next storm comin'. And it doesn't remind me of work."

After removing his sweater vest, Reid sat down at the foot of the bed, facing the door, TV and window. He placed the damp vest at his side and felt the bed shake as his friend moved to sit next to him. And this was good because Reid wanted to talk. He needed to talk. Morgan leaned with his elbows against his knees and pressed his thumb into the opposite palm while sitting silently next to his friend. When Reid saw that, he smiled just a tiny bit. It made him think of Gideon.

Morgan cleared his throat and then rubbed a hand over his shaven head. Reid could hear the friction his hand made against the stubble on his scalp. He smiled just a little bit again. He kinda loved how much Morgan was fidgeting and acting nervous. Reid could tell he had something weighing on him.

"So… you didn't get a chance to tell me earlier…" Morgan finally began. The thought of Reid being upset with him really bothered him. "You still mad at me?"

Although he knew that question was coming, it made Reid tense up unexpectedly. He was uneasy about saying what he needed to say. He was gonna go through with it though. He raised his eyes to Morgan and turned his head slightly to face him. His brow came together and he answered with a question of his own. "Can I be honest with you?" He waited for Morgan to nod and the concern in Morgan's eyes told Reid over and over that he was feeling like an asshole. "I don't think I could ever stay mad at you, but the things you said… and how you said them to me…. I'll never forget that or the way it made me feel," Reid sighed softly and looked down at his hands. "I know I lost my temper, I didn't mean to…" His voice began shaking and he cleared his throat at an attempt to control that. "I, uhh… I just felt like you didn't trust me and… a-a-and last night was so special to me. I just wish it had been as special for you."

Morgan's head dropped nearly below his shoulder line and he chewed on his lower lip. Then he suddenly stood up and went to the window and used his fingers to spread the horizontal blinds open just a bit further, peering outside. It was dark, blustery and wet out there. He closed the blinds completely before he moved back to the bed and sat down very close to Reid. He reached his hand to the back of Reid's neck and pulled him close so he could kiss his temple.

Reid closed his eyes and let out a breath to make room for his swelling heart. I'm so in love with this man, he thought.

"I don't want to mess this up," he said softly to Reid. There it was. That tone. That honest, gentle, all-consuming tone that Morgan's voice was capable of.

Honesty in this case was the sound of doubt. Reid licked his lips and tucked them inside of his mouth before parting them to breathe in. "…But there's always gonna be something in the way, isn't there?" He pulled away from Morgan then ran his fingers behind his ears, moving his hair so his face wouldn't be hidden from Morgan as he looked down.

Morgan sighed. "Maybe… I don't know." He wished he had the answer and his eyes conveyed that. He pulled Reid close again and Reid rested the side of his head against Morgan's jaw.

Reid wondered how Morgan could be such a jerk by breaking his heart while simultaneously stealing it. _Is this how love begins… or ends?_ Morgan held his arm firmly around Reid for quite some time as they as sat side by side. Reid listened to the Radiohead song as it played. The melody from the guitar was enough to help his mind draw a much needed blank and he closed his eyes for a short time.

Another song began and neither of them had moved. Reid slowly opened his eyes to read the information. It was The Scientist by Cold Play. As the song played, Reid couldn't help but identify with some of the lyrics just a little bit. "Do you hear this?" he asked Morgan.

"I do…" Morgan nearly whispered.

Once he felt Morgan's hand move from his left shoulder to his back he pulled away so he could look at him and saw that Morgan had done that specifically to get his attention. Morgan wanted to kiss him. Reid licked his lips and met his mouth to Morgan's and they kissed each other, a closed mouth kiss. Then they both opened their mouths a bit and continued the kiss with no tongue.

Reid broke free from the kiss first. He brought himself to his feet and stood in from of Morgan and began to untie his tie. Morgan watched Reid's long fingers coordinate the necessary moves and continued watching him as he pulled his tie free from his shirt collar, dropping it to the floor next to their feet. Reid then unbuttoned three buttons starting from the very top and next pulled his shirt from his pants. Morgan had to admit it. There was something so sexy about Reid. He didn't even try to begin to understand what it was. He could feel himself beginning to get warm just watching him.

Morgan reached out to Reid and touched his crotch, finding the hardening mass inside his pants and he squeezed and rubbed it. Reid stepped up to Morgan, his legs at the insides of Morgan's thighs. He lifted his shirt to expose his stomach to his lover. His head fell back when Morgan gripped at his waistband and belt, pulling down on his pants, kissing and licking at his abdomen. Morgan leaned back and looked at Reid's skin, getting hard at the sight of his own saliva shining in the light. He could see blue veins just below the skin's surface, pumping blood with a purpose and he could feel his wrist rubbing against Reid's muscle as he continued to tug at Reid's pants. His eyes focused next on Reid's inny belly button and then on the thin pattern of hair that led from it to Reid's hot spot. He felt such a rush of arousal that it made his own dick twitch.

And like a needle scratching a record, JJ's and Prentiss' loud laughter interrupted them just as Morgan put his mouth on Reid's abdomen again.

Morgan practically threw his arms into the air out of frustration and Reid saw how unreasonably upset he was by the angered look on face. "Heyyy, let them have some fun…" Reid tried to lighten the mood and smiled as he took Morgan's head in hands. Morgan just sighed heavily. "I kinda like the sound of them laughing. It's nice." He was still smiling down on Morgan when he paused for just a second and then suddenly appeared to change his mind. "But – You know what? I'll go ask them if they can be quiet," Reid told Morgan as he pulled away and headed toward the door.

"Woah, woah, no you don't," Morgan called to him. "Git back here."

Reid stopped dead in his tracks, smirking as he turned back around.

* * *

><p><strong>REVISED 112014**


	15. Mi Amante

**Chapter 15: Mi Amante**

* * *

><p>Reid was over to Morgan in two steps. He climbed onto the bed, kneeling over Morgan's lap, essentially straddling him and he took Morgan's face into his hands. Morgan turned the TV off and tossed the remote onto the floor beside the bed. He leaned back onto his palms and the two immediately kissed and kissed heavily until Reid leaned back and began unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way. He took it off and then pulled his white tank top up over his head and let it fall to the carpet.<p>

Reid hadn't showered yet and the rush of his scent made the breath leave Morgan's lungs. He couldn't wait to breathe him in again. He was reminded of how his body has reacted to Reid's scent before, especially if he was sweating. "My God, I want you so bad," he purred as his hands squeezed at the sides of Reid's back. At first, he only got a happy smile in return, but then Reid let out an excited sigh. It obviously shielded the nervous laugh that he had tried to control. Reid didn't think he would ever get used to hearing words like that from Morgan. He leaned down and put his lips on Morgan's, but didn't kiss him. Morgan could feel Reid's breaths softly puffing against his face, irregular and very warm… Even the scent of Reid's breath was familiar and something Morgan realized he needed.

Morgan licked at Reid's lips. Reid smiled at him again and then parted his lips a little more, letting Morgan's next lick find its way into his mouth and against his tongue. Reid leaned back, just so they could look at each other and then Reid moved back in to kiss Morgan, but Morgan backed his head away simultaneously. Reid read his expression and grinned. Morgan's lips were slightly parted and waiting. He leaned forward again and licked Morgan's lips. His tongue caught some of Morgan's goatee and he smiled when he pulled away. Reid leaned in once more and very slowly put his tongue inside Morgan's mouth and licked against his tongue. Then he angled his head the opposite direction and licked Morgan's tongue again. He pulled back, smiling, biting his lower lip into his mouth. The two stopped to look at each other, eager but holding back.

Morgan's expression changed and he cupped his hand at the side Reid's neck. "Last night _was_ very special, Reid." His eyes moved from Reid's eyes to his mouth… He saw that Reid's mouth was hung open, his lower lip was plump and it quivered a little as the corners of his mouth twitched ever so slightly. He could feel the emotion… the relief that washed over Reid. He could literally feel it. It was like the air around them became weightless.

Reid didn't know what to say. He stayed quiet for fear that all his feelings would come gushing out.

"If I ever make you feel like I did this morning, call me out. I don't want to ever make you feel like you're less than perfect. Not ever again. I know it hurt you. …And that hurts me." Morgan placed his open hand on his chest as he spoke..

"Yes, Sir," Reid said, pleased that Morgan finally said something about it, but it was hard for Reid to look him in the eye. He didn't want Morgan to hurt. Over anything. Ever. Reid knew everything about them not going public still stood, but Morgan's love was showing, in every other way he could show it, whether he realized it or not.

"What do you say, Pretty Boy? Let's—"

The second Morgan called him that nickname, Reid looked down and frowned. "Don't call me that when we're being… this. I've decided I don't like it."

"But that's what I call you."

Reid knew this was a term of endearment and it was seldom used, but... "I know… I just… I just think it's important we don't mix—."

"Are you gonna say business with pleasure?"

Reid took a second to mull it over. "Uhh, yeah." He frog faced and nodded.

"Alright, alright," he agreed, a little puzzled. "What do I call you then?" He grinned, turning up the right corner of his mouth. "Baby? …Handsome? Maybe… amante? Mi amante?"

Reid's heart melted as the words my and lover rolled off of Morgan's tongue in Spanish and with his lips pressed together, he smiled warmly at Morgan. They kissed each other lightly. Morgan straightened his body upright and Reid tucked his lips into his mouth as he held onto Morgan feeling their center of gravity change. As Morgan took Reid's left nipple into his mouth he felt Reid hug his head. Apparently there had been enough talking and Reid quickly resigned himself to this fact as he felt Morgan's mouth travel to his neck. He let his head fall back and he exhaled as his Adam's apple bulged from his throat. Chills ran up and down his arms and the back of his neck as Morgan's fingers moved through his hair and caressed his scalp. Reid leaned into his friend, feeling his temperature rise and he welcomed it. He wanted to be hot and he wanted to get sweaty with Morgan again. He wanted to lovingly touch Morgan and be made love to. He wanted it all again and now.

Reid pushed Morgan down onto the bed and they both grinned at each other as Morgan reached for Reid's arm to pull him down. Reid laughed a little and then rested on top of Morgan, kissing him and grinding his middle against him. Morgan loosely pinched Reid's side and Reid let out another laugh, immediately covering his own mouth because he wasn't quiet.

"Shhhh," Morgan smirked at him, pinching his side again.

Reid crunched his body sideways, trying to deflect the tickle sensation. "Stop it!" Reid groaned as quietly as he could, but still trying to sound like he meant business. He got up onto his knees and began to undo his belt.

Morgan sat up pulled his shirt off and grabbed at Reid's sides again, just needing to put his hands on him. He growled at Reid then they kissed. Reid struggled to pull his pants down and had to stand up off of the bed to get them off, along with his shoes. Morgan pulled his pants off as he lay down on his back. He kicked his shoes off next. They were both still in their underwear as Reid crawled back onto the bed and onto Morgan. He leaned into Morgan, kissing him intensely. His hand reached down to Morgan's swelling member and he began rubbing it. Next, he kissed all the way down Morgan's neck to his shoulder. He flicked his tongue against Morgan's hard nipples, also nibbling and pinching them. Then he playfully bit at the left side of Morgan's torso.

"You know what I like," Morgan hummed and then chuckled. He loved how outgoing Reid was when he was horny. No inhibitions.

As Reid French kissed Morgan's abdomen, he pulled down on Morgan's boxer briefs allowing his dick to spring upright, erect and ready for action. He took a firm hold of it and felt a rush of heat flush through his body. The skin of it was smooth, soft and hot, but beneath that, it was rock hard. With a team effort, they hurriedly removed Morgan's boxers the rest of the way. Reid immediately licked the shaft of Morgan's dick from base to head several times, each time wetting his tongue more. He could hear Morgan quietly moaning and Reid loved that. He continued by squeezing and pulling on it, twisting his hand gently, quickly working pre-cum to the tip. He pulled back stared at the bead of fluid as the light caught it at different angles before he touched his tongue to it.

Morgan watched Reid lick the head his cock and he wondered how Reid was so damn good at suckin' dick. He put his hands on Reid's head and ran his fingers through his hair and Reid sank Morgan's dick deep into his throat. Morgan grunted and began to rock against Reid's face, but he made Reid gag. He let Reid compose himself and waited for him to continue, trying to stay still and let Reid do the work.

Reid twisted his hand up and down Morgan's muscle as he bobbed his head. Morgan loved that and Reid could feel his body vibrating because of it. Reid did this steady for a short time and then he attempted to deep throat Morgan again. Morgan moaned again as he felt Reid's lips and tongue touch the skin at the base of his dick. "Mmm, fuck," he whispered. "My God, Spencer. You give the best head…"

Morgan could feel Reid's hand begin to wonder and soon enough, his balls were gently cupped. He spread his legs wide open, welcoming the soft touch. Reid came up for air, drool stringing from his lips. Breathing loudly, he wiped his mouth and used that hand to continue tugging on Morgan's dick. He situated himself comfortably between Morgan's legs and without any hesitation he buried his face against Morgan. All Morgan could do was moan and roll himself against the pressure of Reid's mouth.

Reid lifted Morgan's legs a bit, exposing his backside completely and Morgan knew what Reid wanted to do. He was a little nervous. He took a large swallow and closed his eyes, letting Reid continue without saying a word to him.

Reid stopped a moment and brought his head back, taking in the sight of Morgan's balls, scrotum and his asshole. His skin was so dark there and shaven smooth. Reid saw his saliva glistening in thin trails down any paths of least resistance and he almost smiled to himself. He leaned down again and licked the skin at each side of Morgan's asshole, testing the waters, then his tongue made one very wet pass over the cinched up hole. He thought it would taste unpleasant, but it didn't taste like anything… or at least nothing he could know how to describe. He kept his tongue wet and continued to massage Morgan's backside with heat filled licks of probing pressure. He then gathered as much saliva in his mouth as he could and then spat onto Morgan, aiming for his asshole, but hitting just above that. Reid wet a finger in his mouth and pushed the wetness downward and watched it work its way into the wrinkles of Morgan's hole as it loosened and tightened. Any spit that dripped below that he brought upward with his finger tip. He took Morgan's balls into his mouth and gently sucking on one and then the other as he began to wriggle his finger into Morgan.

Morgan let out a moan and folded his arm over his mouth. Reid sank his finger slowly, but deeply into Morgan and moved it around just slightly. He pulled his hand back and spit on his fingertip, pushing it back in. He tried to pay attention to what his finger was feeling. All he could make of it was very soft cushy tissue, which was going to be obvious anyway, but he also kept seeing a dark pink color in his mind; a warm and inviting tunnel. Reid had Morgan's muscle in one hand, his balls in his mouth and a finger up Morgan's ass and Morgan kept signaling his arousal with his moans. Every upward pass Reid made, he let his eyes absorb every detail of Morgan's reaction that he could see. He noticed Morgan's chest rising and lowering at a rapid rate. His rippled torso and muscled arm were constantly flexing. He was beginning to sweat, his dick was very hard….and those moans! Every time he moaned, hot energy surged through Reid, right to his very core, setting him on fire.

"Did you bring anything?" Reid wanted Morgan. He wanted to be inside of him. He wanted to be one with him.

"Maybe…" Morgan replied. He moved his arm to take a good look at Reid workin' him over.

"I can't wait to be inside of you, Morgan." Reid took one of Morgan's balls into his mouth and pressed his face against Morgan with a lot of force as he continued moving his finger in and out of him.

Morgan hmmph'ed at the pleasure, but then his hand came up, flat with his fingers spread. "Slow down, Spencer," Morgan wanted to let Reid have his way. He wanted Reid to have his way so badly, but it made him nervous to even think about going that far so soon.

Reid gave him a knowing glance and did a full stop. He pushed himself away from Morgan and rested on his knees between Morgan's legs. He patted his arm against his forehead and then ran the back of his hand against the side of his mouth and down his chin. Morgan watched him, wondering what was going on his head. He didn't want Reid to get upset. Reid then wiped his finger on his underwear and got onto all fours. He crawled to Morgan, placing his knee between Morgan's legs. He applied just a little bit of pressure and Morgan reacted by holding his breath and letting it go as all of his muscles flexed and relaxed from the pleasure. Reid slipped a hand under Morgan's head and began lowering himself onto Morgan as he buried his face into his neck. "You know I'd never hurt you, right? You'd be in absolute control."

"I know," Morgan answered quickly. "I know," he repeated in a near whisper. He wrapped his arms around Reid tightly …and then the two rested comfortably, Reid slipping off to his right side.

"Are you…?" Reid started, not really sure how to ask Morgan what he wanted to without triggering a response that would ruin the moment. He knew what Morgan was thinking about now, so he was confident all bets were off anyways.

"Am I what?" Morgan asked, unsuspecting.

"Does your past still bother you? I mean, what happened to you with Buford?" Reid cringed. What a stupid question.

"It bothers me," Morgan answered fast. He felt Reid take his hand and he returned the gesture. "But, ya know… I can go without thinking about it for a while and then sometimes I'll think about it all day long. It depends…" There was a considerable silence. Reid didn't have a response that he could muster actually voicing and he didn't want to come off insensitive or matter of fact. "I got to put the bastard in his place in the end... so I win, right?"

"A bittersweet victory…" Reid thought out loud. He was sad for Morgan. Reid thought his words felt hollow and his tone was a bit heart wrenching. He wished he could make him feel better. "Most victims don't get to do what you did. They don't get to be the hero."

Morgan leaned his cheek on the top of Reid's head and then kissed his hair. Reid let the silence settle, completely understanding Morgan's apprehension. He closed his eyes, resting his head on Morgan, breathing him in.

Holding Reid against his body, Morgan rubbed his thumb over the warm skin of Reid's bicep and looked at their hands as they lay clasped on his stomach. He let out a breath and then glanced at the clock. It was still kinda early. A few minutes had passed and he was about to try to start up a conversation, to change the subject, but seconds before he was about to open his mouth, he felt Reid's body fall asleep.

* * *

><p>The silence woke Morgan up. His hand instinctively found his hard cock and tugged on it. The dream he'd been having proved to be enough to rekindle his earlier arousal that had been inadvertently halted. His eyes opened, taking in the vast darkness. No light anywhere. He listened, trying to hear if there was any sign of electricity only to remember he wasn't home. There were no appliances in this small motel room. Nothing hummed in his ears. He couldn't even tell if it was storming outside. He finally turned his head to look at the end table alarm clock and saw no digits lit up. "Power's out," he sighed. His watch was in his duffle... which was across the room. It was still dark outside. Morgan didn't let himself worry too much about it.<p>

"Muhhh," Reid mumbled in his sleep as the arm he had been laying on landed across Morgan's chest. Reid had rearranged himself onto his back and Morgan listened to him as he thought back to his dream. It was a little surprising, buuut… not really. It was about Prentiss and JJ; two beautiful women. He squeezed himself and pleasure rolled through his center and he wished Reid's arm had landed somewhere away from him. It was very much in his way.

"Reid," he whispered. He let go of himself and brought his arm up and over Reid's and began nudging him. "Wake up."

Reid groaned and rolled onto his side away from Morgan, but he somehow managed to intertwine his feet around Morgan's right shin, subconsciously knowing his lover was next to him. Morgan followed suit and rolled over, pressing up against Reid. He slid his warm hand down Reid's arm and onto his underwear grabbing hold of the cotton and Reid's ass. He gave a good tug on the waistband, enough to expose some cheek and let them snap back into place. His hand groped at the top of Reid's waist, grasping his hip bone and then he moved his hand down further, cupping Reid's crotch.

"What are youuu…?" Reid couldn't finish the question as his voice faded out into the air. He felt Morgan's hot breath on his neck and it made his blood rush. If getting awakened like this was going to become a common occurrence, he was all for it.

"I was having the most amazing dream…" Morgan told him quietly. His voice alone would have made Reid hard, but since he was already getting there, his body responded with goose bumps and a shiver. He could feel how hard Morgan was good God, it excited him. As Morgan began to practically dry hump Reid, his tongue licked at the curve of his neck and shoulder and Reid rested his hand over Morgan's hand as Morgan kept workin' Reid's muscle.

"Is it in your bag?"

"What?"

"The stuff."

"I'll get it." As Morgan got up to move across the room where he had put his duffle, he continued, "An amazing dream..." He was talking to himself. He blew out a breath, loving the feeling that dream left him with. "You ready for round 2, Dr. Reid?" he asked coming back with a condom and the tube of lubricant. Reid tried to bite back his grin, but it was pretty difficult. He was glad Morgan couldn't see him. The excitement he felt at being the center of Morgan's attention was making him shake with nervous enthusiasm. Even if Morgan was excited about something else, he was going to be the one who would reap the reward. Morgan put the condom on before even getting back onto the bed. He quickly lay down next to Reid again and began pulling Reid's underwear down and he happily assisted. Reid heard the cap on the lube snap shut and then he felt the cold gooiness of it spread onto his backside.

Reid knew right then that Morgan wasn't gonna beat around any bush. He wanted inside Reid. Now. Reid braced himself, still on his side as Morgan began to push into him. He knew what it was going to feel like, but that still didn't prepare him for the reality and he cried out. Morgan immediately reacted, simultaneously grabbing Reid's face, covering his mouth and ceasing all movement below his waist. They remained motionless as Reid panted against Morgan's palm. After he took a second to calm his himself, he grabbed at Morgan's wrist and pulled his hand away and breathed through the remainder of the pain, letting his head fall to the pillow. "There's such a painful pinch…" Reid tried to explain. "And it takes my breath away. The muscles in my throat tense up…"

"Same as last night?"

"Yeah," Reid sighed. He swallowed and placed his hand on Morgan's hip. He blew out another breath. "I'm okay, it's okay." He took a firm grasp at Morgan's hard cheek and began leveraging their bodies closer together.

Morgan let out the pleasured sigh he'd been holding in. "Damn…" he whispered as he so slowly pushed. He took hold of Reid's hip and squeezed tight as he felt the hot compression against his muscle. It made him even harder. He could feel each vein throb against Reid's inner walls. A moan from Reid broke Morgan's focus and he leaned against Reid's back, taking Reid into his hand. More moans escaped Reid, keeping Morgan primed.

"I need to tell you about that dream…"

Goose bumps raised on Reid's skin again. His voice… Morgan could have complete control over him with just his voice. "Tell me," Reid told him.

"I had a dream that…" Morgan worked his hand over Reid's erection, pulling up and down on the loose skin as his voice poured warmth into Reid's ear. "We walked in on JJ and Prentiss…" Every word from Morgan was very deliberate and spoken slowly. "Prentiss was on her knees… Her beautiful ass was in the air…." Reid was more than intrigued than he had anticipated. Why was Morgan dreaming about them? Not only was Morgan filling him up with every thrust, he was filling his mind's eye with erotic images, bringing this experience to an entirely different level for Reid. The expectancy of his next words placed Reid on an edge. Morgan was tapping into something very primal; something hungry and rarely fed. He felt something inside himself begin to churn as Morgan continued. "She had her face buried between JJ's legs…"

Reid whimpered. The second Morgan had said JJ's name the first time, her face had appeared in his mind. He saw her blue eyes and her smile… But now, she was suddenly on her back, on a bed, with Prentiss. "Oh, my God…" _Why is this such a turn on?_ He understood it from a sociological perspective, but he had never paired them together. They had individually crossed his mind while masturbating, but nothing ever so erotic. It was never anything he couldn't look them in the eye over the next day. But maybe that was it. Maybe this was uncharted territory. Or maybe Morgan being so aroused by it was, in turn, bringing him to the same state of arousal. Maybe it was because they were in the next room. He just didn't know. Reid felt high again. He felt like he was floating somewhere outside of his own body.

"This dream was in high def…." Morgan pulled on Reid's entire package, pressing his dick against his abdomen and massaging his balls and he slowly fucked him from behind. "Prentiss had JJ's pussy so dripping wet, right down her ass crack. Glistening… Could you imagine walkin' in on that? JJ's lips spread wide open, pink and juicy on the inside, Prentiss flickin' her clit, tasting her sex, makin' her cum. God damn…"

Reid groaned; his dick was harder than hard. It was aching, but it felt so good to him. He wanted to hear more. So badly. "Don't stop," he breathed.

"If I could let you inside my head, I would." Reid's cock had been leaking pre-cum ever since Morgan had put his hand on him, but Morgan noticed a sudden abundance of fluid and he rolled his palm over the head and bit down on Reid's shoulder. "You are wet," he teased. Reid held in his moan not wanting to distract Morgan from continuing telling his dream. "It didn't last too long… I just remember, Prentiss' mouth drawn open over JJ's pretty little pussy, JJ moaning, she had her hands cupped over her tits… And Prentiss had the sweetest tush. I wanted to hit it from behind, but then I looked over to you and I woke up. You may as well have cock-blocked me in the dream realm." Reid didn't respond. "I think you should be punished for that."

Morgan bucked hard and fast into Reid once and Reid grunted.

Morgan hit it hard again. "Ohhhh, yes," Reid groaned. He turned his body slightly and braced himself on the bed wanting more. Morgan picked up on this and turned with Reid, beginning to hover over him. Morgan pumped into Reid twice more, harder and faster each time. They moved just enough to allow Reid to be on his stomach and Morgan kept going. Reid buried his face into the pillow and lifted his ass against Morgan, wanting every inch of him.

"I love hearin' you grunt," Morgan breathed into Reid's ear. He heard Reid's fingernails scrape the cotton fabric of the pillow case as he squeezed the pillow. He continued pounding into Reid, steady and hard, making him moan and groan and grunt and sweat. He was getting louder though. It concerned Morgan enough that he took the pillow next to Reid and put it over his head, attempting to muffle him. Reid's hand came out from beneath them and found Morgan's hand. He pressed their hands harder against the pillow, wanting to muffle himself. Morgan could hear Reid was losing it. He kept writhing around beneath Morgan, pressing against him, keeping rhythm with him, sometimes breaking rhythm completely and lying flat with his knees pressed into the mattress. Morgan's thrusts became very fast, but not very deep and he knew he couldn't hold out for much longer.

Morgan bit into Reid's back, high on his shoulder blade and sank himself into balls deep Reid, wanting Reid to blow his top. Reid's reaction only became louder… and the louder Reid sounded out, the harder Morgan rode him. Reid's muffled cries were steady up until he growled. Then the noises he made were something Morgan hadn't heard from him before. They were long, drawn out and dripping with pent up gratification and pure bliss. Morgan let go and began pumping his load as he gave his entire last bit of energy into this unstoppable moment.

* * *

><p>Morgan pulled the pillow off of Reid's head and slowly exited his backside. He relaxed, lying on top of Reid. They breathed fast and heavy, surrounded by their humidity. Both men were shiny with sweat, even if there was no light to reflect it.<p>

It wasn't long before Reid spoke up. "Get off me…"

Morgan immediately rolled over and onto his back. "You okay?"

"I'm better than okay, you're just not exactly feather pillow material."

"Did you just call me fat?" Morgan teased. He was breathing like he'd just run a marathon.

"I need a towel."

"Oh, yeah?"

"No, seriously. I'm not even sure I should move right now… I'll make an even bigger mess if I get up. Can you help me?"

"Hold on, man." Morgan got up and headed to the bathroom to get a hand towel. He flushed the condom while he was in there. On his way back, he stopped at his duffle bag to get his flashlight because he had to see this.

When Morgan turned on the flashlight, bright light filled the room. Reid squinted and put his hand in front of his face. "What are you doing? That's so bright…"

Reid had turned up onto his side and Morgan sat down next to him with the towel in his hand. "Holy shit, man. You weren't kidding." Reid's crotch was a thick and stringy, creamy white mess. So was the bed spread. Morgan was sure this was probably the most Reid had ever unloaded in one sitting in his entire life. He began gently cleaning his partner up.

Reid let himself roll onto his back. "What time is it?"

"Don't worry about what time it is. Just get some sleep." Morgan tossed the towel in the general vicinity of the bathroom before he walked over to Reid's side of the bed. He found his boxer briefs and slipped them back on. Then he found Reid's underwear. He rubbed Reid's legs to get his almost asleep friend's attention and together they got Reid's underwear back on. Reid was fadin' fast. He was running on auto-pilot knowing Morgan was making sure they were in some sort of explainable condition in case someone saw something in the morning somehow. He slipped Reid's tank top back on. "I love you, Morgan…" Reid mumbled with his last barely conscious breath. Morgan helped him fall softly against the mattress.

Morgan didn't respond. Minutes later, he found himself standing at the foot of the bed thinking about trying not to think about what Reid said. He wasn't so sure he was ready to hear that from Reid because he knew what Reid meant. They'd shared those three words before, but things were changing and they weren't just bros anymore, not just partners, not just friends. Morgan knew Reid was falling in love. He realized it earlier when Reid was talking to him in the yard at the home of the murdered family. Reid not being able to handle the crime scene had nothing to do with empathy. This wasn't like how he struggled after Tobias got a hold of him. Reid said it himself. He felt guilty for being so happy.

Morgan went to his duffle and traded his watch for the flashlight. It was only 3am and he set the alarm for 6am. He got into bed and tossed the top spread over Reid so he'd be covered. He closed his eyes, trying to weigh the pros and cons of moving forward with Reid, but soon enough he drifted off. This very thing was becoming his version of counting sheep as he fell asleep for the last few days.

* * *

><p><strong>REVISED 112014**


	16. The Shift

**Chapter 16: The Shift**

* * *

><p>When Morgan awoke to his watch alarm, he saw the power had been restored. The light that he and Reid had never had the chance to physically turn off was now lighting up the room. He looked over to Reid, who seemed to be sleeping peacefully, and listened to him breathing, feeling the warmth from Reid's leg against his own. Last night was… wow. He probably should have been easier on Reid, it was only his second time, but… damn. He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, groggier than usual. Between everything with Reid, the traveling and not getting very much rest overnight, he was feeling a little worn down. He needed a gym. And he wanted a hot shower badly. He rested his hand on Reid's hip as he sat there, rubbing and squeezing lightly. He really didn't want to leave Reid's side. He also didn't want to feel so fucking attached. Not in this new and different way. He rolled his eyes and breathed out. <em>What am I gonna do?<em> Before he left the bed, he kissed Reid's head and smelled his hair.

When he came out of the bathroom, he saw Reid sitting at the edge of the bed. He had his head buried in his hands and his body was hunched over quite a bit. Morgan looked at him with some concern. He was pretty good at reading Reid. Well, he thought so anyway. "Hey, man. What's the matter?"

Reid rubbed his eyes with the base of his palms as he sat there. "My head hurts," he said as he stood up slowly and just stayed there in place, even as they heard a knock on the door. He didn't feel dizzy or uncoordinated, but his head felt heavy.

Morgan tightened the towel around his waist and looked out the peep hole. It was JJ and Prentiss. He frowned at Reid before he opened the door. He didn't look too good.

When Morgan opened the door, he saw the bright eyed and bushy tailed JJ and Prentiss. They were both dressed, hair and make-up done, ready for the day. They smelled pretty, like lightly scented flower blossoms. JJ was standing right of Prentiss and had a better view into the room. Her eyes immediately saw Reid in his underwear and tank top as he slowly walked across the room. She thought he looked like he was sleep walking or in a trance. Morgan noticed the odd faces she was making and realized he'd opened the door a little wide. He looked back to see the bathroom door getting shut. The coast was clear now.

Prentiss had to keep looking away from Morgan's body. "Uhh," she looked downward and shook her head, grinning just a little bit. JJ smirked in her direction. Fully composed, Prentiss looked back up at Morgan's patient face. "We're meeting for breakfast at Hale's. It's right down the road about half a mile." She pointed back towards town.

"Alright, sounds good." It didn't get lost on Morgan how Prentiss was acting. Truth was he wasn't interested. His dream maybe said differently, but he's a man and it was just a dream. He knew he could never cross that line with her and never would. JJ either. Garcia was his best friend of the opposite sex and she didn't even cross his mind, though she may have if she had also been standing in front of him right now.

He ignored the inner voice that asked him why it was okay to cross lines with Reid.

"Is Spence okay? He looked a bit like a zombie," JJ asked; never mind that she just saw his pale bird legs and bear arms.

Morgan shrugged. "I guess he woke up with a headache." There was an awkward silence and Morgan didn't know if it was about Reid or him or him and Reid or something between the girls. "So, 7?" he guessed. Prentiss hadn't got that far yet.

"Yeah…" Prentiss confirmed slowly. She had noticed the uncomfortable limbo as well.

"Okay, we'll see you there," he agreed, sealing the deal. Morgan took one good look around the girls at the parking lot. He couldn't see much. It was still dark outside. There was nothing of note.

Morgan slowly closed the door as JJ and Prentiss still stood there, not having given any indication they were going to walk away yet, essentially leaving them in the dark. He locked the door, not caring if they heard it. He wanted to check on Reid and he headed to the bathroom. When the door opened, steam wafted out and he said Reid's name.

He peered behind the curtain and saw Reid standing motionless under the shower stream, looking like he was asleep. Morgan took off his towel and placed it on the counter. "Where does it hurt?" he said as he stepped inside with Reid.

Reid flinched at the sound of Morgan's voice being so close, but he smiled after he opened his eyes. "Good morning," Reid's smile grew wider as he watched Morgan's body get extremely close to his. "It was just some sinus pressure. Allergies, maybe… It's gone…" he licked his lower lip and tucked his lips inside his mouth. He scratched his nose and then ran his hands through his wet hair. "I just needed to stand up."

"You sure you're okay?" Morgan asked feeling like he needed confirmation from Reid and Reid nodded with a smile. That smile kinda melted Morgan inside and he kissed Reid softly. "We got invited out to breakfast." He kissed Reid again and rubbed his arm as he pulled away. "How long 'til you're ready?"

"It depends?" Spencer told him in the form of a question. He was trying to bite back a grin.

"On what?" Morgan teased, kissing him again. Morgan's kisses in the morning were undeniably needed. They made Reid feel so loved and desired. He wanted to start every day like this. He sucked in a breath when he felt Morgan's hand come around and caress his backside. He gripped Reid's cheek firmly, spreading his ass crack open only to slip his hand inside to fill the space. Reid made a noise and Morgan chuckled. "You're a little puckered… Did you have fun last night?"

Reid smirked out a grin, "You know I did."

"You like it when I hit it hard, don't ya?" Morgan kissed him again.

"I like it when you're doing it to me with everything you have." Reid kept looking downward, grinning.

"Doing it?" Morgan smiled. "Doin' what?" He gave a questioning look and took both of their semi-hard dicks in his hand and squeeeeezed.

"You know…" Reid was being shy. He closed his eyes, reeling from the pressure of Morgan's hand. He wanted to rest his head on Morgan's shoulder and just let Morgan touch him all over his entire body.

"No, I don't know… You're gonna have to say it…" Morgan prompted. "And not like a text book."

Reid opened his eyes again and smiled. Morgan was gonna make him say it. He rolled his eyes, bit his lower lip into his mouth completely and then locked his eyes on Morgan's. He swallowed and said, "When you're… When you're fucking me."

Morgan couldn't believe he played along. "Say it again."

Reid's eyes shot all around at the walls surrounding them while he worked up the nerve to repeat himself. "…When you're fucking me…" He was nervous to speak like that, but he could see that it was having an effect on Morgan.

Morgan just stared at him. "Again." The expression on Morgan's face… it made Reid want to say it again. And Morgan looked so hungry to hear it.

Reid started to breathe harder. The energy firing off between them couldn't be ignored. Something was happening here. Reid was trying to figure it out, but he wasn't sure what it was. It almost felt like there was about to be a shift in dominance. He took a couple of Morgan's fingers into his hand and tilted his upper half toward Morgan. "When you're…" Reid leaned in and put his lips on Morgan's ear. He couldn't deny how powerful he felt. "…fuck-ing meee."

Morgan was so turned on; he couldn't stop the goose bumps that rose on his flesh. Reid looked down between them and saw how stiff Morgan was. He was too, but Reid knew they didn't have time. He needed to put things on hold at the very least. He brought his hands to Morgan's head and loosely cupped his ears, rubbing his thumbs over Morgan's eyebrows and then he kissed his forehead. The warm water bounced off Morgan's neck and back until he lifted his chin to wet his head again. He understood—there wasn't time right now.

Reid felt Morgan's hand squeeze his side, just above his left hip. "Hurry up, we gotta go," Morgan told him. Reid watched Morgan step out and then he slowly began showering, a bit lost in the wonderment that was he and Morgan. No matter how simple or complicated this was, one thing was very clear; Morgan's walls were coming down. They were crumbling bit by bit.

When Reid came out of the bathroom, Morgan was on his back, pancaked on the bed with his knees bent over the edge. He was on the phone. Reid wondered who with, of course. Morgan was grinnin' and being a flirt. Reid sat down on his of the bed and began digging in his duffle for his outfit for the day. He felt Morgan's hand rub his lower back as he spoke in very general terms about the case. Reid turned around and mouthed "Who is that?"

"Mama, you wanna say hi to Reid?"

Reid's eyes bugged out of his head. Maybe Morgan wasn't flirting! He shook his head and waved his hand, quickly turning back around to mind his own business.

"Ah-, no-, wait… Sorry, _Penelope_…" Morgan emphasized. "He doesn't want to talk to you."

"Hi, Garcia!" Reid cringed and called out as he pulled a sock on. He quickly finished getting dressed and then he organized his clothes, separating those that needed to be laundered. Next he grabbed his satchel and began rummaging around inside of it.

Morgan hung up the call. "You hurt her feelings. I'm gonna hafta defend her honor, you know," he rolled over onto his side and watched Reid checking the side pockets of his satchel. He was focused and not listening to Morgan. "Hey."

"Right, sorry."

Morgan frowned. "Hey," he said again. Reid ran his hand through his hair and began rechecking every single pocket again. His hair flopped back down, covering most of his face from Morgan's sight. He kept observing Reid, not taking his eyes off him as he got to his feet. Reid patted the pockets of his slacks and then moved back to his luggage and started checking for whatever it was that he was looking for there. "You lose somethin'?" He moved closer to Reid.

It took a second for Reid to push his focus toward Morgan, but even still, he didn't make eye contact and all he said was, "What?"

"What are you lookin' for?" Morgan pressed.

"Oh… I'm looking… I'm… my watch. I can't find my watch."

"This watch?" Morgan took Reid's arm and pushed his wrist into his face. His watch was clearly fastened over his cuff, like usual.

Reid swallowed and met his eyes with Morgan's. He looked positively caught in a lie right at that moment, but the fear in his face quickly faded. "I didn't realize I had put it on." He laughed at himself and the smile he had reminded Morgan of how innocent Reid used to be, like when he first started at the BAU. It was just a closed mouthed, shy smile. Morgan thought he must have imagined Reid's first expression so he returned the grin and slapped at Reid's side with the back of his hand.

Reid harnessed his satchel over his shoulder and before they opened the door, they stood there in the space in front of it. Reid reached to Morgan's collar, tweaked the left corner down and then smoothed his hand down his firm chest. He smiled and said, "I'm gonna order a three cheese omelet."

"Hell if you are," Morgan grinned recalling Reid's sensitivity to dairy. "I don't wanna listen to you complain about your sour stomach all day." Reid was about to playfully argue. "You need somethin' good n' hardy." He watched Reid bite his lip. "None o' that soft protein. You've had your fill lately," he smirked and then kissed Reid. He had to. It was like he couldn't stop himself. "You need you some meat and potatoes."

Reid kissed Morgan this time and then cringed before he said, "I really don't want to go out there. I just want to stay here with you."

Morgan smiled at him for reading his mind, but alas... "We're already late." Reid looked sad, so Morgan spoke up, "We got tonight."

Reid nodded with a quiet smile before they headed out the door.

* * *

><p>"You're late!" Prentiss called out when she spotted Reid and Morgan heading towards the two tables the team had pushed together.<p>

Reid was shy. Morgan greeted everyone with a big grin. "My bad. Garcia and I were catchin' up. Did ya all order something yet?" He and Reid sat down across from each other at the end of the secondary table. Reid sat next to Hotch who sat next to Rossi. Morgan sat next to JJ who sat next Prentiss. Rossi and Prentiss were against the wall.

"We were waiting on you two." Hotch waved the server over and she began to take everyone's order.

Morgan caught Reid's attention by bumpin' shoes with him under the table and he nodded once toward the girls. Reid's eyes glanced at them for just a split second and then they shot down toward the menu. Morgan grinned as he watched Reid turn bright red for just the blink of an eye. Just a moment later, he saw Reid's right hand slipped beneath the table. Morgan observed Reid purse his lips as the weight of his body tilted slightly and then he brought his hand back to hold the edge of the menu. Morgan had just caught Reid adjusting himself.

As Morgan kept watching' Reid, he was kinda curious why he was being so quiet. They didn't speak in the car and he hadn't said anything to anyone here yet. When he thought back to it, that whole watch deal was weird. Something was bugging him about it and he pushed it back hoping he was just being paranoid.

It seemed everyone was interested in what Reid was going to eat and watched him order. He didn't notice, but everyone had stopped what they were doing to watch him tell the waitress what he wanted. Pancakes, ham, hash browns and coffee. He gave Morgan a playful glare. He really wanted that omelet.

After everyone had ordered, they sat quietly for just a little while. Reid watched as Morgan stretched his arm up and over, resting it along the back of JJ's chair. His eyes moved back to Morgan who gave him a smirk to prompt thoughts of last night.

"Spence, you feel better?"

Reid's watchful eyes slowly aimed themselves at JJ. He thought she was beautiful. She was the girl next door that all the boys longed for. After last night, it finally came to light that he was also one of those boys. Her blue shirt lit up her cornflower blue eyes and he had to look away. "Yeah, it was just a sinus pressure headache." His eyes focused in on the peach fuzz on her cheek. "…It's gone now." He wondered about the peach fuzz on the rest of her body as his eyes wavered back to the space on the table in front of him. Just then the cup of coffee he'd ordered arrived.

Morgan smiled as Reid poured way too much sugar into his coffee. _That's good, right? Everything's okay, right?_ Morgan's eyes moved to Hotch who was watching him. Morgan saw that he had a little look of concern. Morgan happened to glance at Rossi next who was also looking at him. _Alright, this is strange._ He maintained a stare off with Rossi for another eight seconds before he looked away.

Their food finally came and everyone dug in. After a few moments, Prentiss yawned, rather loudly. "Excuse me!"

"Me, too…" JJ said in total agreement.

"We didn't sleep well either…" Rossi glanced in Morgan's direction again. "We had some enthusiastic neighbors." Morgan made eye contact again, but didn't bother with the staring contest this time.

Reid was eating and trying not to listen, but it was hard to ignore the topic of conversation.

"Did you guys hear them?" JJ moved her eyes between Reid and Morgan.

"I didn't hear anything," Morgan said flatly. _Well, fuck._

"You must sleep like the dead," Rossi said to him.

_Alright, now…_ Morgan was about to have words with Rossi. He did not appreciate the vibe coming off him. Morgan bit his tongue, though. He knew stirring this pot would be a mistake. He told himself to just let it roll off his shoulders.

"I heard them," Reid said, not even looking up from his plate and everyone inadvertently gawked at him. He finally looked up after three more bites of food because he could feel their eyes.

"Yes, well… At any rate," Hotch took the attention off of Reid, "it seemed like they were having a good time."

JJ and Prentiss smiled at each other. Morgan locked eyes with Hotch. A moment passed between them that told Morgan to change the subject. He could read it on Hotch's face. "So what's on the agenda today? Garcia's already at work. She said she had something for us."

"Yes, I've spoken with her," Hotch cleared his throat before he continued. "It seems Lyndell's car has been spotted in Waynesville. I'd like you and Reid to head out there and see if you don't have the same luck. JJ and Prentiss will continue to go through Lyndell's things including getting some intel on Lyndell's boyfriend. Get with Garcia," he told them. "We need two profiles. One for Lyndell and one for her boyfriend. We'll hold another press conference at 2pm, JJ," Hotch said directly to her. "Rossi and I are going speak again to the neighbors and go speak with her biological father. Maybe they kept in touch. It's a long shot…"

"You just want us to randomly drive around Waynesville?"

Reid glanced up at Morgan, hearing the frustration in his voice. He stepped on his foot lightly and Morgan looked at him.

"They don't have the man power here, Morgan. If you'd like, you can stay here and Prentiss will go."

Morgan shut his trap.

Everyone soon finished eating and Hotch left to go take care of payment. Rossi left the table to use the restroom. Prentiss got up and moved to Hotch's seat. Reid gave a quick glance to Morgan as Prentiss leaned into him. She cupped her hand at Reid's ear, covering Morgan's view of her mouth, and began to whisper to him. Reid's eyes grew wide as he listened. He gulped and then tucked his lips inside his mouth. From under the table, Reid felt Prentiss take his hand, intertwining their cool fingers and he turned his head to look at her. Their faces were merely inches apart and he stared at her lips. Her thumb caressed the back of his hand and he finally looked into her eyes. Her hand was so soft, her touch was so affectionate… and he found himself wanting to experience intimacy with her… Morgan's dream had left him wanting so much more. "Okay?" She asked him aloud as her free hand rubbed his back in a circular motion.

He couldn't help but smile at her. "Okay," he agreed.

Morgan and Reid watched the girls leave. Morgan rested his back against the chair, stretching his arm over the empty chair next to him and he stared at Reid. He wanted to ask Reid what the hell that was about, but he was pretty sure he knew. He was pretty sure everyone knew. It would explain Hotch and Rossi's behavior. He thought he should get mad and he wanted to. It was everything he had wanted to avoid, but he just couldn't bring himself to get fired up right now. Not after Hotch essentially gave him the opportunity to remain with Reid for the day. Besides, what could it possibly accomplish? He just continued to watch Reid who was finishing up a piece of toast that Hotch didn't want. "Are you happy?"

The question caught Reid off guard. He frowned and smiled at the same time. He thought it was silly that Morgan would ask that. "Are _you_ happy?"

Morgan just grinned and chuckled, finally looking away from Reid. He stretched his arms out way over his head and leaned the chair back. Reid snuck a peak at his belly. Morgan tipped forward again and blew out a breath. "You ready?"

* * *

><p><strong>REVISED 112014**


	17. Flawless Rhythm

**Chapter 17: Flawless Rhythm**

Morgan stood next to Hotch while he waited for Reid to get back from the bathroom. And unless Hotch was waiting for Reid too, Morgan didn't get why he was hangin' out. They looked at each other a few times, but neither would say anything. After enough of that, it was clear to Morgan that Hotch had something to say _to_ _him_ and he wasn't one to beat around the bush, so his hesitation spoke volumes.

As a few more moments of this awkward silence passed, the elephant in the room was enough for Morgan to speak up on his own. "Just say what you wanna say," Morgan told him quietly as he ever so slowly shook his head and closed his eyes to brace himself. He wanted to get this over with and get it out of the way.

"Morgan… I trust your judgment…"

Morgan fantasized about telling Hotch, _"Stop talking then,"_ but he didn't say a word.

Hotch cleared his throat and looked around, locating the rest of the team outside through the glass entrance doors, save Reid, obviously, who was taking his sweet time in the bathroom, "but I need to speak with you later… about Reid." His face wore hard lines, but his expression was empathetic.

Morgan stood in place with his hands clasped behind his back, raising his eyebrows at Hotch, waiting for him to go on. He thought Hotch was going to say more and he dreaded those next words as the nerves in his head tingled making his face hot. He knew right then he wouldn't know how to respond to any questions about his relationship with Reid, especially to Hotch, and it made him so fucking uneasy that he felt his stomach turn.

Just then, Reid came into the lobby, breaking the tension. He greeted Hotch with the smile of a big kid, visibly very cheerful. He seemed entirely too excited for a Sunday drive through Waynesville on a Monday. Morgan thought it was strange, since all morning he had been so reserved, until Reid shot him a glance that couldn't be misinterpreted. Reid was excited to spend the day with _him_.

Hotch's cell phone rang and he quickly said, "Call if you find anything," before he answered the call and headed outside.

Reid slowly licked at his upper lip and the corner of his mouth as he watched Hotch exit the building. He could see the others and continued to observe them through the glass doors as they walked off in a group together. His hand slowly reached out to Morgan and at a very precise moment that Reid was waiting for, he took Morgan's arm and began to lead him down the hallway behind them.

"What are you doin'?," Morgan chuckled as he watched Reid make sure no one was watching. Reid continued pulling on his arm until they reached the men's bathroom. He pushed the door open and put his hand on Morgan's chest, not letting him inside. All Morgan could do was grin at Reid's little covert operation here. He found _himself_ on guard immediately as well, taking several glances back toward the lobby. And just as he expected next, Reid slipped inside and then pulled Morgan into the small room. From right to left, Morgan saw the urinal, the single stall and the small sink and wondered why Reid chose this place of _all_ places. Just as he spun around to face Reid, he observed Reid's hand turn the lock.

Reid slowly leaned against the door as Morgan stepped toward him. And Morgan had no problem standing right in front of him, so very close. "Reid… this is a filthy… germ infested… bathroom…" Morgan spoke so softly to Reid with a hint of seduction to his tone.

Reid playfully clutched his hand loosely over Morgan's entire face. "Please… I am _begging_ you. Don't remind me." Morgan pushed Reid's hand away with a grin and began to carefully remove Reid's satchel from his body. Reid lifted his back from the door enough to assist and then let Morgan hang it on a nearby hook on the wall. "It _cannot_ be any worse than inhaling that pillow all night." Reid had to scratch his nose after thinking about that. Morgan's shirt hadn't been tucked in yet and as his arm was raised away from his body he could feel Reid's cold fingertips on his skin as they roamed just above the waist of his black jeans.

No more words. The tension that filled the quietness between Morgan and Reid next was thick in this small room. Morgan listened to Reid's fast breathing and he liked the way it sounded, all wound up and tight. Being so close to him, Morgan was already breathing in Reid's scent, enjoying every last bit of it, even if it was mingled with breakfast and coffee. He looked at Reid's eyes, his large pupils, his lashes… Wanting to take in everything there was to behold of his lover's face, he let his eyes dance over Reid's features. He saw the faint creases between Reid's eye brows and then he looked at the wrinkles on his lips. His jaw line… A scattered freckle here, a smile line there… High cheek bones led his sights to Reid's perfect ears and then his eyes flowed downward onto Reid's slender neck. Morgan counted the pulses of Reid's jugular and he felt his own body get warm with anticipation. His heart was beating just as fast as Reid's. Glancing down between them, he saw and felt Reid's hand grasp him just under his arm… and then came tinges of arousal as Reid's thumb made multiple passes over his nipple. He wanted to fuck Reid so bad. He wished they were at Reid's place.

They moved in to kiss each other, but both only had the intention of a tease first. With both being quick to respond, only the outer most area of their lips touched until they grinned at other. Reid then opened his mouth wide and Morgan's tongue slipped inside, igniting the spark each of them had been anticipating. If they weren't kissing each other, Reid was kissing Morgan or Morgan was kissing Reid, but neither fought for dominance. Deep, warm and affectionate tonguing… They seemed to share such a flawless rhythm; it was as if they had been kissing each other most their lives.

Reid took Morgan's head into his hands, letting his grip ease down to Morgan's neck. Morgan had his hands at Reid's back, pressing their lower halves together. The fire kept burning, but after a few minutes, the kissing abruptly stopped… Reid had Morgan's head in his hands again and he rested his forehead against Morgan's. His mouth hung open and his lower lip trembled slightly, starving for another taste of Morgan's mouth.

After Morgan unzipped his jeans and undid his belt, Reid crouched down, hesitant to actually place his knees on the floor. Not a word was said to each other, no questions asked.

Morgan slowly moved to the back of the door so he could lean if he needed to. Reid moved with him and gave into kneeling as the cramping in his toes began. Reid began pulling his friend's jeans down, all the while licking his lips and tucking them into his mouth. When Morgan pulled his hard cock out of his boxer briefs, Reid whimpered at its girth and cupped his own crotch, having to rearrange himself as he took Morgan into his mouth. Reid closed his lips around Morgan and deep throated him, pushing Morgan as far down his throat as he could. As he pulled back, he sucked on every throbbing vein and rigid detail that Morgan's dick had to offer. Morgan's abdomen flexed and his stomach sucked in at the myriad of sensations.

In fact, Morgan _rapidly_ found he was feeling waves of pleasure. He panted a couple of heavy breaths and then sucked in, filling his lungs only to let it out again. "Reid, oh my God…" He took Reid's head into his hands and weaved his fingers into his hair. "Fuck…" Morgan tried to control the spasms he was experiencing, but his efforts were just about maxed out. He forced himself to look around so he could remember where they were because this wasn't a good place to doin' this. He looked back down to Reid and let out a soft moan. He began keeping a gentle rhythm with Reid, slowly rolling his hips against Reid's motion. And Reid's mouth was so wet… so hot and wet. Morgan could feel the cooling sensation of saliva dripping down his balls. And Jesus, the _nom nom _noises Reid was making were driving Morgan insane. He felt Reid backing away and let go of his head. Reid pulled Morgan's boxer briefs down to his ankles and took Morgan in his hand, pointing his unit upward. Morgan spread his legs wider for Reid when he felt a soft tongue and a hot mouth on his balls. He saw Reid stick two of his fingers into his mouth, wetting them. Then he spat on them. "Mmmph," Morgan knew what was coming and he wanted it. He wanted Reid to touch him.

As Reid's fingers slipped in between his legs and into his ass crack, Morgan eagerly anticipated the sensation. Last night had felt so good before they were interrupted with Morgan's past. Morgan knew Reid wasn't going to hurt him. Morgan knew Reid could be trusted. Morgan knew if he was ever going to let anyone in, it was going to be Reid. He wanted to embrace everything Reid wanted to be for him... Reid took him in his mouth again and he pressed his wet fingers against Morgan's ass. Morgan closed his eyes and let Reid do his thing. He could feel Reid's fingertips exploring the opening… his opening… with entrancing circular motions…

After a moment Reid pulled his hand away and Morgan looked down. Reid had stopped his oral performance for a second and let drool string from his mouth. Morgan had to close his eyes again. Reid brought his hand back to Morgan's backside and the wet probing pressure continued as Reid sucked his dick. "Ahhh," Morgan groaned as he felt Reid begin to insert his middle finger. He took Reid's head in his hands again and prompted that rhythm they had going before. Reid's finger was pushing deeper and deeper into him and when Reid's finger couldn't reach any further, he began rhythmically pulsing it against Morgan's inner walls. The pressure alone would have been enough, but the pulsing... Morgan could feel it deep, he could feel it at the opening… all along the way, and it was… so intoxicating.

Tiny beads of sweat sheened Morgan's face and he whispered, "You kiddin' me?" as he felt his load racing to the tip of his cock. He had wanted to last even just a little longer. As all the tension released from his groin, a wave of warmth spread through his center and he sounded out, as quietly as he could, filling Reid's mouth with his warm spunk. Squirt after warm squirt and Reid never flinched. He let Morgan finish, swallowing him in one gulp while he gently removed his finger. In a downward motion, Morgan squeezed his softening dick, pushing a few more drops out. Reid was waiting with his mouth wide open and his tongue displayed. _What a fuckin' porn star…_ Morgan thought as he slapped the head of his cock against Reid's tongue and Reid took him into his mouth one more time making Morgan's body uncontrollably twitch. After a moment of some deep breathing, he pulled his boxer briefs and jeans back up and hurriedly tucked his shirt in. "Wooh!" As he wiped his forehead, he caught Reid rubbing himself. "You got somethin' for me?"

Reid had backed himself against the outside wall of the stall. The sink and counter were directly to his right. The closer Morgan got to the Reid, the more he could see Reid tensing up. He was nearly shaking with eagerness. He reached down and put his hand on Reid feeling just how insanely solid his cock felt. Reid moaned at Morgan's touch and he looked downward to watch Morgan's hand rub him through his pants. He brought his head back up, resting it against the stall.

"I'm gonna cum so fast..." he had to swallow and breathed out as he locked eyes with Morgan again. Reid felt like he was going to explode. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as Morgan continued rubbing his shaft. Morgan didn't doubt him at all and noticed a small wet spot forming on the outside of Reid's slacks.

"You're gonna hafta learn how to holster this weapon of yours, _Mr. F B I_…" Morgan's tone and the look in his eye had Reid's face pained in pleasure.

Morgan carefully unzipped Reid's slacks. Next, he slowly unhooked his belt. Then he pulled Reid's package from his underwear. Morgan's eyes never wavered from Reid's face. For Morgan, watching Reid get lost in pure ecstasy was pretty amazing. Morgan wrapped his hand around Reid's throbbing erection and watched as Reid's eyes slowly closed and opened. Reid held his breath and swallowed, immediately taking in another breath. He licked his top lip and then his mouth hung open. Morgan had to kiss him. They kissed each other full and hard until Morgan began to drop to his knees for Reid.

"Morgan… I'm serious, I'm so-" Reid tried to say in warning, but he couldn't finish his sentence thanks to Morgan's lips touching his dick. "Ohhhh," he breathed. He swallowed and pet Morgan's head slowly as Morgan put Reid in his mouth. His heart pounded against his rib cage as Morgan's tongue caressed his sensitive skin. Blood rushed through his veins and he felt his armpits sweating.

Reid panted as he focused, trying to control his every reaction, but he let out a groan and heard Morgan tell him to be quiet. He brought his hand to his mouth and bit down on two fingers as he felt another rush of heat flush his face. Then Morgan's scent filled his nostrils and Reid thought for a second he would pass out because smelling Morgan on his hand was so unexpectedly arousing, only adding to his increasing lack of control. He heard the stall hardware flexing against his weight and looked down at Morgan only to throw his head back again. _Morgan had dropped to his knees for him without hesitation. Morgan was performing oral sex on him in a restaurant bathroom. This is really happening. _Reid groaned again and his hand slapped against the counter top at his right. Morgan watched his fingertips lose their color as he gripped onto the edge. He pulled on Reid's shaft as he looked up to him and said, "Cum for me… Come on, you porn star… Let me have it."

Morgan put Reid back in his mouth and braced. He knew it would only take one more bit of stimuli to get Reid off and he pushed his face into Reid, letting Reid's dick touch the back of throat and he held it there. Reid's reaction shook out of him in the form of an exerted sigh as he tried to be quiet. Then Morgan felt it… Hot liquid shot right down his throat. Morgan nearly gagged, but he allowed Reid's load to empty into his mouth and he caught it all. He wasn't sure what to do for a second with Reid watching. He didn't want to hurt his feelings. He considered swallowing, but changed his mind just as fast. He heard Reid catching his breath and glanced up at him to notice he was counting on the stall wall to hold him up.

Reid grabbed Morgan's arm as he got up onto his feet and moved to lean over the sink. "Don't spit it all out," Reid told him. Morgan continued on with his intention to lean over the sink, but he just opened his mouth, letting the fluid spill from his lips rather than spitting it out, but it was kinda thick. It didn't just spill out like water would. He stood upright again, still very close to Reid. Semen wasn't the best tasting thing in the world and he didn't know why Reid made the request he did. Reid smiled and Morgan grinned back with his mouth open wide, sticking his semen soaked tongue out at Reid and wiggling it around. Reid sucked in a breath and took Morgan by the back of the neck, passionately kissing him. They continued to kiss each other until they heard a knock at the door.

Morgan's head turned quickly and Reid called out, "Just a minute!" They gave each other a look to say the moment is over. They needed to leave.

As they took turns washing their hands, Morgan muttered, "You're a kinky little SOB, aren't ya?"

Reid laughed. "What?" He looked at Morgan's reflection in the mirror in front of them, catching his smirk.

"You'll try anything, won't ya?" Morgan lathered up his hands and rinsed them.

"What do you mean?" he laughed again, a little softer this time until he realized what Morgan was getting at. He tucked his shirt in, zipped up and cinched his belt.

"Never mind," Morgan said softly, smiling, as he pulled down on the lever for the paper towels to dry his hands.

"If I can't be comfortable with my partner in _every_ way, how can I expect a healthy sexual relationship? I want to experience it all. With you. No matter how odd or ordinary."

Morgan knew that_ partner_ was about to become a complicated term, but he grinned because Reid had left himself so wide open. He had some one-liners to throw out, but he bit his tongue seeing the seriousness on Reid's face. Something told him now wasn't the time for jokes. "Just sayin'…"

"I trust you, Morgan… I trust you enough to be myself with you and… and when we're together I… I-" Reid told himself to stop talking, but kept saying the words in his head: _…literally want to be a part of you and… I want you to saturate me. _Reid looked down as he washed his hands. _Keep it simple._ Looking up to catch Morgan's eye again and he finished what he needed to say, "I love you… I'm… in love with you." His eyes quickly moved back to his hands as he rinsed them. Reid chided himself. His version of simple was Morgan's most complicated and he knew that now.

Morgan watched as Reid flung the water from his hands. He pulled some paper from the dispenser and handed it to Reid not really sure what to say. He kinda had that 'deer in the headlights' look on his face. Reid dried his hands and then brushed the paper towel against his knees.

When he looked back up to Morgan, his expression didn't lie. He wanted to hear some form of what he had just confessed said back to him and the disappointment at the silence from Morgan weighed heavy in the air. Reid retrieved his satchel from the wall and moved back to the sink with his friend, hoping that the awkwardness would pass on its own.

"I'm gettin' there." Morgan watched Reid bite his lower lip into his mouth as he gripped onto the leather strap. "Reid, you know I love you, but I can't-"

There was knocking at the door again.

_We can't do this right now._ "It's okay, it's okay," Reid waved his hand at Morgan trying to play it all off. This was only one of many awkward moments and conversations they were going to have. "Come on," Reid prompted. Morgan hesitated, wanting to talk more, but Reid wasn't giving up on leaving the bathroom. "C'mon," he repeated, nodding toward the door and smiled warmly at Morgan before he turned the deadbolt. They stepped out together and were surprised _not_ to see whoever had knocked, waiting by the door. They glanced at each other before stepping into the lobby. Reid tried to conceal a burp against his closed fist. Morgan caught that and grinned.

As they walked to the car, Morgan popped the trunk to see what gear that had with them. Reid moved their jackets that they had left on their seats to the back seat. He entered the vehicle and Morgan did the same, a moment later.

"I'm so tired now…" Morgan moaned. Between the breakfast carbs and the orgasm, he felt like he'd hit a wall. "You gonna tell me what Prentiss said?" He started the car and adjusted the heat.

"Hmm," Reid rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. "She, uhh… she … she quoted Mark Twain to me." Reid let out a laugh and then furrowed his brow. "She was letting me know she knows."

"What'd she say?"

"'Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.'"

Morgan sighed. Secrecy didn't exist anymore. "Sounds like a heads up too. Did you see Hotch and Rossi?"

"I could _feel_ the tension," Reid emphasized. "They see you as an equal and to be honest, you've _most likely _done something they don't necessarily approve of… for their own reasons… if what they suspect is true." _It was so true._ Reid gave a Morgan lazy grin, but quickly let it fade seeing that Morgan wasn't finding him funny. He didn't find any of this funny.

Morgan grunted in frustration and leaned his head on the headrest, just about ready to give up. He stared out his window and it only took a second for Reid to hold his hand. Morgan kinda shooed his hand away, not really in the mood to be comforted. "I can't even get mad, really. We were too noisy last night. We shouldn't have-"

"Shhh. C'mon, let's just go." Reid didn't want Morgan reflecting too much on their colleagues' reactions.

Morgan gave him a dirty look. "Don't shoosh me. How much time did we just spend in that bathroom cuz you wanted to get busy?"

Reid laughed at himself. "I know… I- I was being really selfish, I'm sorry," a grin slipped across his face at the genuine amusement at his own actions.

Reid wasn't bothered by anything. Morgan had felt his stomach clench for just a second as he felt a bit of impending doom, but then Reid had to go and smile like that… It kinda made everything… better. How was this kid even real? "Stop that," Morgan told him.

Morgan could see Reid was had no idea what he was talking about. "Stop what?" he questioned.

"Flirtin' with me."

"How am I flirting?" Reid buckled himself in and gave Morgan a dismissive glance.

"That smile."

"What? I'm smiling, not flirting."

Morgan chuckled and considered Reid's words. "Yeah, you _don't_ really flirt with me much, huh? You just sorta come at me." Morgan laughed out loud, feeling good for a second. Reid laughed… and agreed, nodding with his eye brows raised. Morgan continued, "Maybe I just like what I see…" Yeah, Morgan was feeling very good. Screw impending doom.

The look on Morgan's face caused a wave of affection to wash over Reid. He took Morgan's compliment bashfully and looked down at his own hands. Morgan was an emotional rollercoaster already this morning, but come hell or high water, Reid was definitely along for the ride.

Morgan ruined his own moment and thought about the exchange between Prentiss and Reid again. "You looked like you were gonna kiss Prentiss."

"What? No…" Reid smiled to himself. "I wanted to."

Morgan didn't want to say anything, but he _was_ fishin' to see where Reid's head was at and what Reid just said made him nervous. "Would you have? If no one else was around?"

"A _more_ interesting question is would she have let me?" He didn't look Morgan in the eye, but the look on Reid's face was clear that he thought the notion of he and Prentiss kissing under any circumstance was ridiculous.

"Don't avoid the question. I'm not askin' about Prentiss." Morgan's tone had turned a bit salty. "I'm askin' what you would have done if you were alone with her."

_Is this a test?_ Reid's eyes locked on Morgan's and then wavered downward as he chewed on his lower lip. He frowned as he swallowed and chose his words very carefully… "The thought… of _being_ with _either_ JJ or Prentiss is… intriguing. Last night made that very clear. I hadn't really thought about it seriously _before_ last night. But Morgan, let me tell you this…" Reid swallowed again and then licked his lips. He watched Morgan's eyes move to his mouth. "I would not have done _anything_." He paused until Morgan looked into his eyes again. "_You_ say we're not a couple, but… _I'm_ tethered to you. Actually being with anyone else is out of the question."

Morgan looked down and then stared at the steering wheel. "Hmph," was his reaction. As he let Reid's words sink in, he realized just how jealous the thought of Reid in someone else's company made him. Just envisioning a kiss between Reid and anyone was a little… painful? Was that the right word?

"You know, I actually feel bad."

"About what?"

"I don't know if I can explain it…" Reid paused and chewed on his lower lip again. "Maybe… like I've objectified them? Last night and this morning… I keep wondering things about them now. Sexual things."

"It was just a dream," Morgan insisted. "Can't be helped."

"You've corrupted me," Reid teased.

"Who's corruptin' who here?" Morgan loudly snapped back with a smile. "I just wanted to share it with you. I knew you would get as hot and bothered as I did." Morgan paused and licked his lips. "You said we both like girls and we got 'nothin' to prove' so I used it to our benefit."

Reid chewed on his lip some more until he turned to look at Morgan. "Is that how _you_ feel about them?"

Morgan sighed and rested his hand on the steering wheel. "That dream had nothing to do with JJ and Prentiss." Reid gave him a confused look. "I was horny before going to bed. I could have just as easily dreamed about anyone else. Besides, thought you didn't believe in analyzing dreams."

Reid blatantly ignored Morgan. "But you didn't. Your sub-conscious chose them. It didn't even choose me." Reid appeared to zone out for a second and then he suddenly frowned. "In fact, I find it _very_ interesting that you're allowed to be jealous and I'm not."

Morgan ignored Reid's jealous statement. "You were in it."

"The dream wasn't _about _me. It was about naked women _who we know_ and sex and you _wanting_ to have sex with-"

Morgan sighed again. "Are you kidding me right now?"

"I practically stopped you from getting what you really wanted. You said it yourself, last night, during the uhh, when we- …" Reid couldn't spit it out for some reason.

Morgan felt Reid was overthinking this. "Hey, my sub-conscious doesn't need to mull you over while I sleep. You're at the forefront of _everything_ goin' on in my head. You give me plenty to think about. _All day_. And what I wanted in that dream is impossible to get. That's why it didn't happen."

Reid sat quietly and after a moment, he said, "I can't believe you're jealous of Prentiss."

"I'm not jealous," Morgan lied.

"Right, and I haven't pictured JJ and Prentiss naked all night and all morning long."

Morgan blew out an exasperated breath. "That's gotta be… so horrible…"

"Shut up," Reid told him, only half serious.

"You shut up. You know, you're startin' to act like a little bitch," Morgan said not thinking that it was out of line at all. He then continued with a smart ass tone, "If you'd _like_ to keep goin' on about how much your pussy hurts, tell me now so I can go get another cup of coffee before we leave."

Reid squinted and looked off toward the road. "You're acting like a jealous boyfriend," he retaliated.

Morgan took a deep breath. "Are ya done?"

"Are _you_ done?" Reid repeated back to Morgan instantly.

Morgan laughed and then sighed. He loved it when Reid stood up for himself. "This is probably not the right time to tell ya, but I'm a little turned on right now." He grinned as he buckled his seatbelt and then leaned forward to see that Reid was smiling, trying to hold it in. "Alright, Papi… What do ya say we kick rocks?"

"_Papi?_ You – NO," Reid laughed out loud, but then repeated the order sternly, shaking his head slowly, not approving _at all_ of Morgan's new nick name for him.

Morgan grinned like an idiot and put the car in gear and then began to back the vehicle out of the parking spot. He had leveraged himself against Reid's seat, gripping onto the seatback, looking behind the vehicle. They caught each other's eyes and smiled. Morgan looked around quickly seeing no watchful eyes and then planted one on Reid's cheek. Reid just shyly smiled, loving the attention.

"Butter Cup…" Morgan mumbled as they pulled out onto the road.

"No," Reid said, not even making eye contact with Morgan. He paused while pulling a file from his satchel. "So, the boyfriend…"

Morgan accelerated, heading out of Dixon. As Reid read aloud from the paperwork in the file, he wondered if whatever they both got out what they were really trying to say. That conversation was all over the place, but he thought it went well. He reached over and pinched Reid's thigh and got his hand slapped away. He just grinned and kept driving; already knowing tonight was going to be a very special night for them.

* * *

><p><em>I can't tell you how sorry I am that I couldn't post this sooner. I had an editing snafu (lost an entire edited and ready to post version) and I was so pissed I had to walk away and come back with a clear head. Now, having said that, I wrote a fic in the meantime (see <em>_**Undertow**__) and have started the next chapter of this one! Happy Reading! ;)_


	18. This Is Big

**Chapter 18: This Is Big**

"That's too bad that they didn't find _anything_," JJ quietly closed the door to Hotch and Rossi's room. "I'm sure Morgan felt like he was wasting his time all day." She yawned, hiding her entire face in her hands, absolutely exhausted.

Prentiss cringed when JJ looked at her with glistening eyes... She felt JJ's pain. She was really tired too. "I wonder if Hotch told him that he wants them back out there tomorrow."

"I don't think they've even stopped by to check in."

They ambled down the open walkway toward their room, both ready to turn in for the evening, but something caught their attention and they stopped at the window of Morgan and Reid's room. Neither of them could keep themselves from staring at the yellow light that shown through the blinds where one of the slats had been broken off at its end near the bottom. "I want to look…" Prentiss whispered loudly.

JJ had a worried expression on her face. She looked over her shoulder and then back to Prentiss. "Me too." They both scrambled to their knees to see if they could see into Morgan and Reid's room. "Shhh…."

"Shhhh…"

As they silenced each other, their eyes peered into the room through the tiny rectangle of light and their jaws relaxed open. One continually nudged the other for a better view. "Oh, my God," JJ whispered. The faint sounds of music could be heard and felt as the girls leaned against the building. "_Am I actually seeing this?_"

Prentiss put her hand over her heart and let out a near tearful, "Oh…" at what she saw. Morgan was wearing a black tank top and his black boxer briefs. Reid was still dressed in his slacks and his button up shirt. It was unbuttoned and no longer tucked in. His tie hung loose around his neck, no longer tied and his hair resembled bed head. The sight of what her two colleagues were wearing, of course was not what had tugged at her heart strings. It was the fact that Morgan had a very genuine smile on his face as he twirled a less than confident Reid during a slow dance. Prentiss continued to watch as he pulled Reid close and spoke into his ear. The boys laughed and Morgan twirled him again and the smile on Reid's face made both JJ and Prentiss both whimper.

"They look so happy…" JJ was just as heart warmed.

"They dooo," Prentiss whined. "We haven't been imagining anything, have we?" She was too captivated to even expect a reply.

Morgan brought Reid in real close, placing his hand on Reid's lower back. Reid buried his face into Morgan's neck and held him tightly as they continued to slow dance to their own rhythm. "Do you recognize the song?" JJ asked Prentiss. She knew it, but couldn't recall the artist or title being so distracted by what she was witnessing.

"Eagles? …No," Prentiss thought out loud. She watched Morgan's lips moving. Was he singing to Reid? "Oh! It's Vince Gill. I Can't Tell You Why."

"I love this song. I haven't heard it in so long… Is Morgan singing it to him?" JJ fought to keep her voice at a whisper.

"I wondered that too," Prentiss admitted. They watched as Morgan's mouth continued to move along with the voice from the song and his eyes closed as he lazily kissed the side of Reid's head. Reid remained blushing into his neck and shoulder. "This is too adorable. I can't handle much more."

"Much more of what?"

Both girls were to their feet and turned around in a split second, staring at Hotch with wide eyes. "Oh, my…" Prentiss tried to control her initial panic. Prentiss was clearly startled. "We didn't hear you." She could have kicked herself because, duh, that was extremely apparent.

"What are you two doing?" he asked, his eyes wandering around them trying to see just what had their attention. He never took these two for voyeurs and he was a little angry he had caught them doing just that.

"Nothing," the girls answered in unison.

Hotch saw the cringes on each of their faces. His eyes dropped to the concrete and he lowered his head. As curious as _he_ was to know exactly what the girls had been watching, he knew it was none of his business. He simply decided that _now_ must not be a good time to speak with Morgan as he had planned. It will have to wait until morning. He wanted to say something to JJ and Prentiss… a goodnight, perhaps, but the awkwardness of the moment wouldn't allow for it. He simply acknowledged both women with eye contact and turned around, going back to his room.

JJ and Prentiss sighed in relief… Prentiss quickly pulled out her phone as they walked into their room.

* * *

><p>Reid felt a buzzing in his pocket and pulled back from Morgan. He read the text carefully, not giving Morgan a chance to see it.<p>

"What's up?"

"It's just Prentiss saying goodnight with one of those winky faces." What the message actually said was '_Check your blinds'_. He put his phone back in his pocket and cleared his throat. "So, uhm…" his voice cracked, "should we go to bed or do you want to stay up or…?"

Morgan squeezed Reid's shoulder as he began to move away from him, reluctant to let go… letting his fingers slide down Reid's arm and to his fingertips. He headed to the bathroom, but answered, "I don't know. Maybe we can find a movie or something. I'm tired, but I don't feel like I can sleep right now…" Morgan didn't want to watch a movie.

Reid heard Morgan turn on the shower and he bolted the few paces to the window and searched for only a second before he saw the damaged slat on the blinds. He could also see why they had missed it. It just wasn't that noticeable. He realized anyone looking through that could have seen _so much_. He turned the TV off and lined himself up with the side of the TV stand, lifting it up and pulling it back, moving it about three inches toward the door. Next he grabbed the TV with one hand on the tube the other around the back. He slid it toward him and just slightly angled it differently. Without actually covering the peep hole up and ultimately bringing it to Morgan's keen attention, this was the best he could do.

He pulled out his phone and texted Prentiss back: _thanks! _He wanted to gush to her, but controlled himself. It was a relief to know she had his back. He unlocked the door and quietly shut it behind him, going outside to check the view and saw he had adequately blocked it. He tried not to let himself realize that she must have seen something.

Reid went back inside and looked around nervously, wiping his hands on his slacks. He glanced toward his corner of the room and forced himself to look away. He stood in place for another moment, clenching his fists. He hated this… this feeling…. the craving, as it was called. It was actually quite mind-numbing and he suddenly found it hard to focus. He had been okay all day, but as soon as he stepped back into that room, it hit him. He clutched his left hand around his right inner elbow, squeezing and massaging. Then he closed his eyes just needing this quiet moment to breathe and gather himself. "Come on," he whispered. "You can do this." He cleared his throat and rubbed his face with both hands. Distraction. He needed it.

Reid walked to the bathroom and stood at the open door way with his hands in his pockets. He listened as the water flowed off of Morgan's body to the tub floor. He wished that was a clear shower curtain. He loved Morgan's body. He loved to look at it. He really felt Morgan's body could be a historic reference for coming generations on what perfection could be.

Soon enough, Reid heard the water get turned off and he moved to leave, but stopped. Then he almost changed his mind and started to turn, but still didn't want to leave and stopped again. Right as Morgan opened the shower curtain, Reid made like he was going to walk away again.

"Hey, good lookin'," Morgan said seeing the side of Reid's body as he left the door way.

Reid slowly came back to the door. "I'm sorry," he apologized, feeling like a peeping Tom. "I didn't mean-"

"It's alright…" Morgan said effortlessly, rubbing the towel over his chest.

Reid didn't want to make Morgan uncomfortable. He didn't want to be creepy. From Morgan's tone, however, he could tell Morgan was honestly okay with being ogled by him. Reid breathed through his nose, keeping his mouth closed, as his eyes feasted on Morgan's nude, wet body. Morgan proceeded to dry off, limb by limb, crevasse by crevasse… letting Reid watch. The butterflies in Reid's stomach fluttered as arousal swept through his body and each breath that passed through his nose was more labored than the one before it.

When Morgan was done, he wrapped the towel around his waist and walked up to Reid and slowly moved passed him in the doorway. Reid licked at his lips and ogled Morgan from behind as he turned to follow Morgan out of the bathroom. "Okay… I'll just be a few…" He began to turn around again having all intentions of taking his own shower.

"Oh, no, you don't." Morgan didn't want him to shower.

"But I stink," Reid assumed. He had no idea if he smelled bad or not. He lifted an arm to smell himself.

"That's alright. I like it."

"You like it? You _like_ the smell of my body odor?" Reid made a face.

"Hey, who was sniffin' their fingers all day? …Don't think I didn't notice." Morgan sat down on the end of the bed.

Reid was caught. "Touché." _Wow_, Morgan wasn't supposed to have noticed that at all, but subtlety was not one of Reid's strengths. Reid had thoroughly washed his hands with soap and warm water and dried them… but Morgan's scent had lingered. And sure, it smelled like… what it smelled like, but there was just something sooo naughty and alluring about it, something sooo secret and it was _Morgan on his fingers_. How could he not have his hand glued right to his nose?

Morgan and Reid grinned at one another, now having a little bit better understanding of each other. "Come here. We need to talk." Morgan patted the empty space beside him at the foot of the bed.

Fear instantly struck at Reid's chest. He gulped out of nervous habit. "I, uhh… I hate those words, Morgan." He breathed out, still fighting his body's overreaction.

Morgan shook his head and smiled. "Reid, get over here…" He motioned for Reid to join him.

Reid smiled and let a laugh escape him as he pulled his hands from his pockets. He still wasn't sure if he should trust Morgan or not. But now his worry was over Morgan's mischievous side. "You're making me nervous," he confessed. He sat down gently on the bed.

"Give me your hand," Morgan said as he turned his body to face his friend. Both had one leg off the bed as they pressed their shins together on the bed. Reid looked down and watched Morgan's towel open up where he had tucked it in against his skin. And he knew Morgan could care less about it; that it happened or that Reid had so blatantly noticed. When he held his right hand out to Morgan, it trembled just a bit and he squeezed it into a fist, quickly stretching his fingers out again. He laughed nervously hoping Morgan didn't think too much of that. When Reid looked into his eyes again, he did see Morgan _had_ noticed it by the scowl on his brow, but he didn't say anything. He took Reid's hand into both of his and as he traced the life line inside Reid's palm, a whisper of smile painted his face. "This mornin'… after we …had our discussion… our completely mature and rational discussion, I realized something." He hadn't looked up at Reid yet. Morgan kept watching their hands. "It scares me to death, but I _am_ falling in love with you..."

Reid could feel his face get hot and he swallowed down the lump that had just formed in his throat. The thumping in his chest grew stronger and louder as his heart swelled. "I can feel it," Reid wanted to confirm to him. "I can feel how much you love me."

"You can?" Morgan licked his lips and cleared his throat and gave Reid a quiet smile.

"I've been able to feel it for a while now." After a pause, he smiled at Morgan. He would have elaborated, but he didn't want to interrupt.

Morgan kinda smirked to himself and nodded accepting that he'd be the last know. "Ahh, well, I was pretty sure you could tell just from the pounding in my chest right now," At that moment, Reid placed two fingers on Morgan's wrist to feel his heartbeat. All he could do was smile again. Morgan didn't look nervous at all, but his heart rate told a much different story. He was nervous as hell. "You, uhh…" he scratched at his eye brow, "You mean so much to me." He said that quickly as if it was hard to say it to begin with and then he paused, keeping focused on their hands. "You're my partner, my friend, my brother… and now… my lover…" After another moment, he leaned over toward his pillow and grabbed his phone. Reid just watched him in awe. "I want to show you somethin'." He flipped the phone open and searched through the call log from around lunch time earlier in the day and showed the screen to Reid. "I called Kate. Told her I had met someone and…" he trailed off, thinking about the phone call, "anyway, I broke up with her… you know, so we can... so you and I can do this right." Morgan closed his phone and tossed it the several feet to his duffle. His attention moved back to Reid and noticed how quiet he was. He wasn't jumping with joy, he wasn't smiling… "Did you hear me?" Reid looked at Morgan, blinking several times and then his eyes darted around. Then Reid let a big breath out as he smiled wide. _There it is,_ Morgan thought.

"This is big…" Reid fanned his nervously sweating torso by pulling his shirt back and forth from his chest. He turned away from Morgan not sure if he was going to have to get up and walk around for a second.

"You wanna know what else is big?"

Reid's smile turned into a smirk as he stared at the carpet in front of his feet. "Tell me," his eyes moved to Morgan, eager to hear it.

"I'm yours tonight."

"Mine?" Reid was so focused on the prior conversation, he couldn't see where this new one was headed.

"Your turn."

"What?" Reid laughed softy.

Morgan pursed his lips and looked down. "Really?" His head snapped upward with his brow raised.

Then it finally clicked for Reid. "Ohhhhh, you mean… _my_ turn." He smiled out the side of his mouth and tilted his head down, glancing back to Morgan. "Really?" He took ahold of Morgan's hand again. "Are you ready for that?"

"I'm ready. You're the virgin. Are you ready?"

Reid grinned again. "Morgan, I will be ready when you're ready. The arrangement we have now can last forever if it needs to."

"Reid, I'm not some damaged-" he stopped and let his eyes roll to the ceiling. "I'm a grown man and I'm not runnin' from my past, okay?"

Reid heard the change of tone in Morgan's voice. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"You didn't offend me, kid. I just don't want you to feel like you gotta walk on egg shells 'round me. I'm ready. I wouldn't say it unless I meant it."

Reid's wheels were turning. "But just last night you weren't. And this morning, you're weren't ready to tell me you-"

"Reid-"

"What changed?"

"Today… at the diner when we were eating. I think it all hit me then." Reid was looking for more to be said. "Remember when you caught me staring at you?"

Reid smiled and then tucked his lips inside his mouth as he nodded. "Yeah, I thought you were in a trance or something."

Morgan waited until Reid's eyes met his again. "I'm ready," he affirmed.

"Okay…" Reid agreed. His mind raced through the events of the last several days. So much had changed. So very much. He thought for a split second that maybe this was all too fast, like Morgan should have taken longer to realize what he wanted, but he snubbed the thought as soon as it came because nothing was going to ruin this. Nothing.

"Now, why don't you let me help you get outta those clothes?"

Reid hummed out a laugh. He was excited, not nervous. He watched Morgan slipped off the bed, completely exposed since the towel remained on the bed. Reid focused on Morgan's face, centering on his eyes… his beautiful, strong and truthful eyes. Morgan knelt down in front of Reid and slipped off one of Reid's socks and then the other. His big hands slowly moved up Reid's long legs and stopped mid thigh as they continued to look each other in the eyes. "I love you so much," Reid spilled. Morgan smiled at him and leaned toward Reid, prompting Reid to lean down and kiss him.

Once Morgan's fingers began to undo his pants, Reid could feel the butterflies again. His eyes rolled beneath his closed eyelids for a quick moment before he opened them to watch Morgan again. Morgan pushed against Reid's chest to get him to lie down on his back and once he did, Morgan began to slowly tug on Reid's pants. When Reid lifted himself off the bed to help with the removal, a surge of arousal shot through him and he moaned. Once his legs were free of his clothing, he could feel Morgan's hands on his thighs again. He looked down just as Morgan's lips kissed at the cloth over his hardening dick. He could feel one of Morgan's free hands begin to travel up his stomach, slipping under his tank top. As Morgan kept moving his heat drenched mouth over Reid's dick, he began to ever so slowly move his hips up and down, against Morgan's face.

After a couple of minutes, Reid felt Morgan leave the bed and he opened his completely relaxed eyes to see Morgan turning off the overhead light of the room. He took this opportunity to move toward the center and he rested his head on the pillow. Before Morgan got back to the bed, Reid heard him rummaging around in his duffle. In the dark, Morgan placed down some lubricant and a couple of condoms before he turned on the lamp.

Hopeful to hold his lover close to him, Reid watched as Morgan crawled onto the bed. As Morgan lay down beside him, Reid folded his arms under and over him. They kissed each other… soft and warm kisses, slow and deliberate licks to each other's lips and tongue as they pressed their bodies against one another.

Simultaneously, they split apart and stared at each other in the soft light. Morgan brought his hand up to Reid's jaw and rubbed his thumb against the stubble. It was loud. They both chuckled.

"You better not burn me with this." Morgan whispered.

"I would never..." Reid whispered so softly. He started to smile but stopped in awe that he and Morgan could not stop looking at each other. Morgan leaned over and kissed Reid's forehead. Then they got lost in each other's eyes again until Reid leaned into Morgan and began kissing him again. They huddled together, close and tight as they kissed, but this time, Morgan's hand traveled down Reid's side and slipped beneath his underwear, pulling them down. Reid broke free from the kiss and reared himself up and eventually turned onto his back to get his underwear the rest of the way off. Then he pulled off his shirt and tank top, tossing everything to the floor.

He lay back down with Morgan again, instantly feeling Morgan's body heat kiss the surface of his skin. He couldn't believe just how free he felt. Freedom and relief. Peace of mind. Happiness. He kissed Morgan once and then moved his head back to look at him again. "I could lie here with you forever."

Morgan searched Reid's eyes and the love he felt from him was tremendous. He reached down to Reid's center and took Reid into his hand and felt that he was soft already. That's when Morgan knew Reid was being honest about not needing to ever be the one doing the fucking. Sex just wasn't a priority for Reid. "Do you want to make love to me?" He knew the answer, but he just wanted to hear it in Reid's voice.

"I do." Reid's unwavering focus was still deadlocked on Morgan's eyes. He swallowed and licked his lips. "I'm so happy it's going to be with you." The breath of his exhale shook and Morgan noticed that Reid's eyes got glossy for just a second.

"Me too," Morgan admitted. He was a bit prideful of being Reid's first. Morgan still had Reid in his hand and noticed that Reid's member had plumped in just the last few seconds. He began to stroke it and watched the pleasure roll over Reid's expression. He continued stroking until Reid got hard, and all the while, Reid maintained eye contact with Morgan as he was able.

When Morgan turned onto his back, Reid moved to lie on top of him and the two shared more long and slow kisses. Morgan's legs relaxed apart, letting Reid slip between them as instinct began to move Reid's hips against Morgan in slow, rhythmic thrusts.

When Reid felt Morgan's hands push down on his shoulders, he separated from Morgan and began to slip down his body. He cupped his hands at Morgan's sides and rested his head on his chest just to listen to his strong heartbeat. He turned his head and gently kissed Morgan's hot skin. His tongue licked at Morgan's erect nipples until he felt compelled to move along to all the ripples of muscles below. Moan after moan sounded from Morgan and it began to fill Reid with a sense of power. It mirrored what he felt in the shower that morning. And again, an overwhelming freedom seeped into Reid's skin from being so intimate with Morgan.

Reid found himself inhaling Morgan's clean, freshly washed scent and he smiled against the skin of Morgan's abdomen, remembering what Morgan had said. He continued to kiss Morgan all the way down to his very hard cock. He rubbed his face into the patch of pubic hair above Morgan's unit. Then he buried his face between Morgan's leg and groin, taking a firm grip onto Morgan with his hand. He opened his legs for Reid and lovingly moved his fingers through Reid's hair.

When Reid took Morgan's balls into his mouth, Morgan let out the loudest moan yet. Neither of them felt they needed to hide it so much now. Pleasure seemed to trump fear at the moment. With his mouth full of Morgan, he rolled his tongue and gently sucked, pulling on Morgan's balls with his mouth and then pushing hard against them with his face. He could feel the pricks of newly grown hairs on his lips and against his tongue and they were welcomed, accepting Morgan as he was.

Reid sank Morgan's hard cock down his throat and sucked him as he pulled back. He deep throated him again and pulled back working the shaft as he began to steadily bob his head against Morgan. He hummed in satisfaction knowing Morgan loved the way he gave head. After having worked up a good amount of wetness in his mouth, he lifted Morgan's balls and licked all the saliva he had produced onto Morgan's scrotum in a heavy layer.

Morgan raised his knees and feet into the air, enough to really expose himself to Reid. And Reid's eyes focused on Morgan's ass and he watched as his saliva began to wet it. Placing his hands on Morgan's firm cheeks, he licked at his ass once and heard Morgan groan. He went down for seconds but stopped short, kissing and squeezing Morgan's left cheek. He let his face linger, letting his nose roam. Then he did what he really wanted to do. He pressed his nose against Morgan's opening to take in the smell and his dick flex so strongly. It was enough to make him to whimper, wanting more. He licked his lips and then bit his lower lip. After he licked at it again, he pressed his thumb against it, spat on it and then rubbed his thumb against the opening once more. Only seconds later, he began to wildly flick his tongue against it, so turned on by his hunger, leaving Morgan a quivering, moaning puddle. Reid's hot breath and saturated tongue had Morgan reeling and dear God, he never wanted it to stop.

He hadn't even realized it, but Reid practically had Morgan turned up onto his shoulders, holding and moving his body as he buried his face into Morgan's backside.

Reid wet a finger in his mouth and began to circle Morgan's asshole with it. He gently began to slip it into Morgan and felt how hot Morgan was on the inside. He closed his eyes and let that sensation filter down to his groin as he began to finger Morgan.

This was when he realized he couldn't wait any longer.

* * *

><p><em>Sorry for the delay again! Work, sleep, catching a cold – all that kinda slowed me down! And I know, I totally left you hanging here. I'm not very sorry for that. Haha! Let me know how I'm doing! I hope you're all still enjoying! If you don't know the Vince Gill song and want to hear it, go to <em>_**exonev**__ dot __**tumblr**__ dot com __**post 20321110419**__ to listen! Can't say the song has much to do with Moreid, but I kept going back to the song when I was writing this chapter, so I thought it deserved a mention. Next chapter will be awesome!_

_Oh! And check out my new story **Undertow**. It's something different! Added Chapter 2 just last night. And as time sees fit, I am working on a Morgan/JJ number too. I'll post it when I can finish it. It's almost done. Until next chapter! **Hugs and kisses to all of you.**_


	19. Melding

**Chapter 19: Melding**

"Are you ready, Morgan?" Reid very gently removed his finger from Morgan's backside and helped him lower his legs down. He let his hands lovingly roam Morgan's thighs and hips wishing he could somehow ball up the energy he was feeling into his fingertips so that Morgan could experience his excitement.

Morgan responded with a short moan and a smile, but spoke his mind to be clear, "Ready and willing…"

Reid had never been on this end before and wasn't sure how to proceed. Generally? Yes. Exactly? No. "Do you…?" He cleared his throat and scratched his nose, "Do you know how you'd like it?" His tone was soft as his consideration for Morgan moved to the forefront.

"Let's just do it like we did when I was on top."

Reid made room for Morgan to roll over onto his stomach and when he settled, Reid's eyes followed the length of his body. He could not believe what the sight of Morgan's form did for him. Big arms, meaty, broad shoulders, then the dip… that led to his butt… And Jesus… that was all muscle too… firm thighs, strong calves… Reid could feel his chest tighten with lustful anticipation.

He let out a breath and straddled the back of Morgan's thighs. Leaning forward, he placed his palms on the bed, bracing himself as he slowly lowered himself onto the warm body beneath him. When his skin made contact, he groaned, amazed at how good it felt. He lifted his pelvis to line his dick up with Morgan's ass crack and began to gradually push and release, building a rhythm that he began to get lost in right away. "Oh, Morgan…"

Morgan moaned in acknowledgement, feeling secure under Reid.

Reid opened his eyes and lifted up a bit, wanting to look at Morgan's skin, wanting to watch his face… The lamp was still on and he was thankful. He didn't want to do this in the dark. He wanted to see every moment of it so he could embrace his memories when he was alone or missing his lover. He moved his fingertips up and down Morgan's right side and watched the goose bumps rise. "You are so sexy, Morgan… Every little thing about you…"

"You think so, huh?" Morgan breathed into the pillow, quite flattered.

"I know so…" Reid smiled. "Your tattoos, this tan line I can make out, even these goose bumps…"

As he was speaking, Reid continued his controlled movement against Morgan's backside and their right hands found each other, taking hold. He began to moan, experience new waves of pleasure, causing sweat to form on the surface of his bare skin. He could feel his body sticking to Morgan's and he loved the way it felt…

"I know the feeling," Morgan said referring to how he felt about Reid. Seeing goose bumps on Reid's skin and knowing he was the cause was fucking exhilarating as hell. Morgan could feel Reid's lips on the back of his neck and thought back to his moments with Reid and mumbled, "You too, Reid… I still don't know what it is, but you got my attention. You're one sexy mother fucker."

Reid chuckled against the back of Morgan's neck, nibbled at his shoulder and then kissed the side of his mouth. Morgan turned his head to kiss Reid back, but Reid didn't want Morgan cramping his neck and pulled away. He continued to enjoy his ride against Morgan, focusing on the friction his very hard cock had against Morgan's ass cheeks. Moans sounded from Reid as he pressed his face into Morgan's shoulders and neck and then into the area of pillow at the back of Morgan's head. His arms hugged Morgan tightly, cocooning Morgan's upper half beneath him. "Oh, God…" he whispered, his breath hot as it left his drawn open mouth. "Mmmm…." he hummed as his pelvis ground down.

Morgan matched the pressure against him by pushing back. God damn, did it feel good to have Reid grinding against him. Another minute passed and all the while Reid was consistent with pressure and rhythm, groaning and moaning his pleasures… Morgan listened and absorbed every last bit of it.

Suddenly, Reid's body stopped moving and he tensed up. Morgan felt a light splattering of fluid onto his back followed by Reid letting out a couple of thick throated moans, but…. but then Reid began rolling his hips again. _Did that boy just cum?_ Morgan didn't say a word. He was gonna let Reid do what Reid was gonna do.

After a couple of minutes, Reid lifted off of Morgan and motioned for Morgan to lift his ass in the air. Morgan obliged, wanting to please his lover, wanting to feel his tongue and mouth again. Reid didn't waste any time. He immediately went down on Morgan's ass and took Morgan's softened dick into his hand to begin milking it. Morgan's body responded with throbbing heat and blood flow. 0-60 in 1.2 seconds. "Oh, man…" he whimpered. He could feel Reid's tongue probing his hole and he honestly couldn't wait to feel Reid inside of him, filling him up. Reid continued to play with Morgan's growing erection and balls as he licked. "Mmm, Jesus…" Morgan breathlessly moaned into his pillow.

Reid let go of Morgan's package so he could use both hands to spread Morgan's cheeks apart. He took aim and spat, spreading his saliva with a drenched passing of his tongue. He pressed his thumb against the hole again and then pushed it inside. Morgan let out another moan and Reid moved his thumb in and out just a couple of times and then pulled it out. He spat on Morgan a second time, lining his finger up and slipping it inside. He drove it deep, making Morgan whimper. He spat on Morgan yet again, and lined up two fingers… He hesitated this time, remembering how uncomfortable it had been for him. He looked at the arrested ecstasy on Morgan's face, his lover patiently wanting and waiting, and began to push the two fingers inside. Morgan's face was beautiful. As a moan escaped his opened mouth, his brow furrowed and his anal walls clenched tightly around Reid's fingers. His eyes were shut tight and he was in heaven… Reid could see that. He gently pushed his fingers in as deeply as he could and then pulled them back. He spat on them pushed them into Morgan again. As Reid continued this movement, Morgan's moans were as continuous as his labored breathing would allow.

Reid flicked his tongue at his own fingers where they met with Morgan's skin. He glanced down at his own throbbing erection and saw how enlarged his cock was. He was so ready to do this. He wrapped his free hand around himself and moaned as he licked at Morgan. He could have sworn his dick was more of a handful than it had ever been and he could not wait to bury it inside of Morgan.

It was time. Reid smoothly pulled his fingers from Morgan and got up off the bed. He grabbed the lubricant and the condom on the end table meant for him, the average sized one. Kneeling on the bed again, he set the lube down and tore the condom wrapper open. When the wrapper dripped a drop of lubricant onto his thigh, he didn't wipe it away. "These are disgusting," he complained to himself.

"They're necessary," Morgan told him.

Reid frowned at Morgan, but understood that he was more or less a sexually active male. And not an irresponsible one. Reid already wondered if they would ever _not_ use them. "I've never really done this…" He fumbled with the semi-slippery latex between his fingers tips until he figured out on which side to pinch the reservoir tip. He placed it at the head of his cock and began rolling it downward, toward the base. Thank goodness for health class and diagrams.

"You need any help?" Morgan offered.

"No, I got it…" Reid told him almost annoyed that he even had to do this. He didn't really want to use it even though he knew better. "I got it."

Reid positioned himself behind Morgan and took a deep breath at the sight. His very hard and plump dick was nearly in line to enter Morgan. _This is really happening._ "If I do _anything_ that hurts… or if something becomes too much, just tell me." His hands were already caressing Morgan's back and hips. Morgan only nodded. Reid reached down for the lubricant and squeezed some onto his fingertips. He rubbed that onto Morgan. Then he squeezed more out onto his stretched out muscle and lazily spread it just at the head of his cock.

Reid took another deep breath and got into position, closer to Morgan. For the first time he got nervous. He was waiting for something to take hold of him and move his body _for_ him, some sort of _knowing_, but he just kneeled there, hesitating, staring at Morgan's ass.

Morgan felt Reid's apprehension and turned his ear to him. "You okay, man?" Morgan's tone was warm and understanding.

Reid looked down to him and cleared his throat quietly. "Yeah… just…" he exhaled forcefully and then continued, "just give me a second." He watched Morgan's head relax onto the pillow, him trusting Reid to get through whatever was causing his sudden appreciation of long, drawn out moments.

Reid stroked his erection. He was still as hard as ever. And now his hand was slippery from the lubricant. He brushed that hand against his thigh and then exhaled again, controlled and silent this time. He touched the head of his dick to Morgan's entrance and felt a small wave of pleasure. He licked his lips and moved the head of his cock up and down Morgan's crack and Reid heard him moan. Reid thought his tone sounded like velvet. He lined up again and began to push.

Reid eyes were glued to what he could see happening before him. He was ever so slowly disappearing into Morgan. The pressure against his muscle was making his jaw drop as he could feel the hottest of heats envelop him. Soft, cushy walls of flesh surrounded him, swallowing him as he pushed himself deeper. He held his breath as he watched this magic happen.

Morgan was so quiet. Reid ignored the fact that he didn't seem to be in much pain or discomfort; he wasn't gonna bring it up. Reid pushed down on Morgan's hips, prompting, easing them downward as a whole so Morgan could relax, just like Morgan had done for him.

Reid had penetrated Morgan as deeply as he could.

He rested his cheek on Morgan's shoulder blades, just quickly breathing, feeling a little drunk. His cock was aching with pleasure. "Morgan, this feels… so…" Reid was basking in it. He could feel Morgan's inner walls squeezing against him as they lay there. He closed his eyes, swallowed, breathed out and then licked his lips. "No words…" He turned his head and faced the other direction. "Mmm…." he moaned. He started kissing Morgan's back and Morgan remained resting beneath Reid, enjoying Reid enjoying him.

Only moments later, Reid was lifting his weight from Morgan. His hips began to roll in half circles against the man beneath him. "Mmph," he dropped his head and watched his shaft press into Morgan. A few strands of his shoulder length hair clung to the side of his face and forehead due to the sheen of sweat. "Oh my God," Reid groaned, absolutely swooning. Any nervousness or unknowing had faded away. Reid was feeling that drive that he had been waiting for as he held himself just above Morgan.

He began thrusting.

Reid watched the face of his lover. Morgan was still pretty quiet, but his face… his face… Reid wanted to reach out and touch it, but he felt it would interrupt his rhythm. He just stared at Morgan's mouth which was drawn open and only just now letting noises escape. His eyes were closed and his fist was clenching the pillow his head rested on. With each thrust, Morgan's quiet whimpers turned to consistent moans which became louder groans. Reid used his instincts to know how deep to push and how far to pull… but more than that, he tried to keep watching Morgan's face. Each time he drove himself into Morgan, he winced, but Reid could tell it wasn't unpleasant for him. He quickened his pace, sweating and breathing fast the entire time until he bucked so hard into Morgan that both men halted as if their bell had been rung. Reid was so intoxicated with pleasure that it took everything he had not to cum. And Morgan… he shook beneath Reid, pressing against him so Reid could really bear down.

Reid recovered as quickly as he could and sucked in a breath, thrusting into Morgan, rigid and deep… listening to his own breath pass his lips as his heartbeat throbbed at his temples and throughout his center. He could hear Morgan in the background, groaning every time Reid sank himself. Each sound out of Morgan seemed to inch Reid closer to a climax and soon he found he couldn't keep his rhythm. "Morgan, my God…" Reid swooned again and couldn't take it anymore. Only a couple more seconds passed before Reid was crying out in pleasure unloading inside of Morgan. It was hard for both men to contain their bliss as Reid came. Morgan moaned into the pillow as his lover drove into him, fighting for depth as his muscle flexed against Morgan's already stretched hole. Reid held fast to Morgan's hips, pushing hard as he ejaculated, wrapped by Morgan's heat.

After he slowly pulled out and carefully removed the condom, Reid motioned for Morgan to roll over and he spread his legs as Reid lowered himself down onto him. They shared a deep and wet kiss as Reid began rocking his hips downward, smashing their centers together. Morgan could smell the sweat on Reid and wrapped his arms around Reid's back, wanting to feel how sticky he was. He took Reid's head into his hands and rubbed his nose into Reid's hair line to take in his scent. He let a low rumble leave his throat as felt a wave of arousal travel to his groin. His lips met Reid's again and he held Reid tightly as they kissed. He began to roll them over and it finished so fluidly, like rehearsed chorography. Reid relaxed on his back, spreading his legs for Morgan to fit in between and Morgan was a little surprised at what he saw because Reid was still very hard. Morgan pushed Reid's arms back and Reid closed his eyes, feeling Morgan's mouth and nose exploring his skin. Morgan was breathing him in. He turned his head to watch Morgan French kiss his right underarm. He shuddered as the goose bumpes rose on his skin. Morgan made his way back to Reid's mouth and kissed him again, but then pulled back to look him in the eye.

"What?" Reid asked so quietly. Morgan's eyes were busy with thought. He reached up and ran his fingertips down the side of Morgan's face.

"I'm so close… I feel it, but I still can't spit the words out."

Reid almost licked his lips as they parted and his tongue sat between them until he tried to hide the grin that was breaking through. Morgan feeling it and knowing that he felt it meant so much more than words could even begin to express. "I love you too," he told Morgan. There was no sound to his words. Morgan smiled at Reid with his eyes and then leaned down to kiss him.

He wasted no time slipping the condom on and applying lubricant to himself and Reid. Morgan knelt down, hovering just over Reid as Reid pulled his knees toward his shoulders. Morgan lined up and began to push. Both men stopped breathing as Morgan's cock forced Reid's asshole to open up and envelop him. Morgan growled out a breath as he sank into Reid. Just a little bit of pain brushed across Reid's brow until Morgan was in as far as he could go. Then they relaxed and Reid let himself breathe. Morgan tucked his knees under and just to the side of Reid's hips, curled his back into an arch and then buried his face into Reid's neck. Reid's eyes rolled back into his head as he felt the pumping begin. He wrapped his long arms around Morgan trying to bring them even closer though it was impossible.

Their moans were in unison every time Morgan pushed into him. For Reid, this was the best this had felt. It wasn't nearly as painful as it had been before. Morgan's girth was filling him up, satisfying him and Morgan's weight was also securing him. Reid truly felt like they were melding… and he wanted to be made love to, but there was something so exciting about Morgan dominating him. He couldn't help but want it again. "Fuck me, Morgan," Reid whispered. That made Morgan growl into his ear. Reid panted, getting more thrilled from Morgan. "Fuck me…" he told Morgan. "Make me scream again…"

Morgan's hand came up to Reid's mouth, covering it, like he was going restrict Reid's breathing, but his hand slipped down to Reid's jaw and he pushed against it, turning Reid's head to expose his neck. Reid held his breath as Morgan bit him, clamping down, only to graze his teeth another few inches and bite him again. Morgan thrust into Reid harder, with each pass, he pulled out as far as his position would allow, before driving into Reid again.

Reid whimpered. "Make it hurt, Morgan."

He pulled out of Reid and man handled him over and onto his knees, pushing his body down. Reid made a last minute grab for the headboard and held on, bracing for what he knew was coming. Morgan didn't take any time to precise his aim and without a second thought, he slammed into Reid's backside. Reid's entire body went rigid as he loudly gasped for air through the pain. He snatched Reid's hair into his fist and pulled back forcefully as he began fucking Reid again, listening to his whimpers and moans. The leverage Morgan had against Reid's body was perfect for hard and fast penetration. Reid fought for an unobstructed breath, but the angle his neck was in made it difficult. It was unexpectedly arousing. Morgan tugged on the hair in his fist again as he jack hammered, sending his partner into a light headed bliss.

Morgan knew he couldn't hold out much longer. He let go of Reid's hair, taking hold of Reid's hips and he began to absolutely pound him. Reid's cries got louder and louder. Sweat was dripping down Morgan's face and chest… He could feel Reid pushing against him and knowing Reid wanted him so deep was all it took. He slowed to a near stop and drove himself as deep as he could as Reid matched the pressure. The moan that flowed from Reid's throat let Morgan know he had hit the spot. He backed up and hit again, burying himself as Reid came again, unbeknownst to him. Morgan made one last pass and sank himself into Reid and let go of his orgasm, grunting rhythmic tones as he came.

Morgan slipped out of Reid and as Reid fell to his side on the bed, Morgan collapsed to the left side and they laid there, both breathing hard and shiny with sweat. Morgan remembered the condom and took it off and carefully tossed it to the floor next to Reid's. When he stretched his legs out he realized he was lying on top of some scattered wetness. He touched his hand to the tousled bedspread and glanced at it. He could hear Reid trying not to laugh. "Did you really blow your wad three fuckin' times?" Reid just smiled, only half of his face visible as he rested his head on the pillow. Morgan could see his eyes were getting really sleepy. "I think I'm jealous."

"Practice."

"Huh?"

Reid's eye lids were closed. "Prolong the inevitable."

Morgan looked at his hand again as he thought about 'prolonging the inevitable'. Morgan had heard about guys and multiple orgasms, but he'd never bothered to really try for it. He enjoyed having his orgasms without holding back. He glanced to Reid and wondered how much masturbation, er… practice it took to gain so much control. Leave it to Reid to surprise him; he certainly left Morgan guessing. That was for sure. He rolled over and ran his hand along the side of Reid's head and watched Reid's lips purse as he swallowed.

"Reid, hey…"

"Don't worry, Morgan." Reid still didn't open his eyes. "Everyone knows and no one cares."

Morgan hmphed out a laugh and smiled at Reid for reading his mind. He was going to suggest they put some clothes on, just in case of whatever. He conceded and rolled over, facing his back to Reid. It was a tough reach to turn the lamp off, but Morgan got it handled. When he got settled, Reid snuggled up to him, tucking his arm under Morgan's as he pulled them together. Morgan hadn't felt this content in a long time.

* * *

><p><em>This one took way longer than I had anticipated! I hope you like it! Next chapter is already ready to begin editing. Love the reviews! Please keep them coming! <em>

_Very recently, I've been trying to keep you guys updated on my progress thru my profile page. Check in from time to time! _


	20. Trust

**Chapter 20: Trust**

When Morgan woke up, he was alone. His hand lightly brushed against the empty space beside him and he looked around and saw Reid nowhere in the room. He guessed he was in the bathroom and Morgan closed his eyes again, in a huff that he woke up before his the alarm on his watch sounded. "Reid?" he called out, hoping he was in ear shot, but no answer… He fell back asleep.

Morgan woke up again about ten minutes later, sensing he was still alone… Once again, his hand felt for the warm body that should have been beside him, but no one was there. He got up off the bed and groggily headed to the bathroom. He could see a line of yellow light at the base of the closed door and he knocked twice, assuming Reid was on the other side. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he heard a soft spoken Reid say through the door.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, can I just have some privacy?"

Well, now! Morgan was definitely so very sorry to have bothered Princess this morning. He waved his hand, brushing off Reid's attitude with no mind and headed back to the bed. His head hit the pillow and his eyes closed as the clock turned 5:21am.

When Morgan woke up a third time, the room was warm with yellow lamp light and he was greeted with a tender kiss on his forehead from his lover. He smiled and scooted toward the center of the bed, prompting a 'dressed and ready to go' Reid to lie down next to him. When Reid settled, Morgan watched him and quickly got the feeling that something wasn't right. "What's the matter, man?"

Reid let his eyes slowly roll as he thought of what to say. "I'm not really feeling well," he sighed a little bit in frustration and tried to conceal it, but Morgan could easily see that Reid was annoyed.

"Headache? Stomach?"

They held hands as they lay facing each other and Reid focused on watching their fingers intertwine as he answered Morgan. "No, not that," Reid paused and tried to gather the courage to tell Morgan the truth. "I woke up to my heart racing. I… I felt like I couldn't breathe." Morgan remained quiet to let Reid speak. "I got up and practically had a panic attack in the bathroom."

"You shoulda woke me up," Morgan said, predictably.

Reid shook his head as he turned to lie on his back. "No… no," he almost whispered. He didn't want Morgan to see him like that. "I'm okay now; just wide awake and feeling a little anxious."

Morgan looked Reid over. He appeared like he was okay, but Morgan knew Reid was still suffering some withdrawal. Funny how the brain doesn't forget how bad it wants the things it shouldn't have, especially only having a reminder. Morgan brought their hands to his mouth, kissed the back of Reid's hand and then continued to look at his friend. Reid looked so sharp today. Clean shaven, hair looked combed, sweater vest, slacks… Reid was workin' it, except that frown he probably didn't realize he was wearing… No matter, though; he was trying. It was all Morgan could ask for. "You smell good…" he watched the corners of Reid's mouth turn up until Reid couldn't hold in his smile any longer. Ahh, that's what Morgan wanted; lighten the mood and make Pretty Boy smile. Morgan could feel his eye lids getting heavy again; he tried to fight it.

Reid propped himself up against the headboard knowing he couldn't fall back asleep. He reached for the night stand drawer, pulled it open and saw old magazines inside. He rested a few on his lap and took a look at Morgan. He was sleeping like a baby.

When Morgan's watch alarm sounded at 6 am, he immediately shut it off, groaning and stretching loudly. Reid gave Morgan a glance, but kept to the center of the room as he read from one of their files for the case. Morgan got up and headed over to Reid, purposely bumping into him on his way to the bathroom. Reid just grinned and kept reading.

* * *

><p>They were quiet in the car. Glances and soft smiles were exchanged. Memories of last night still weighed heavy on their minds. What a beautiful night. What a fulfilling experience.<p>

So much for unrequited love and dreams never coming true. Reid still couldn't believe it happened, but it did. He felt like he had made the right choice in waiting and had made the right choice of who to give himself to. He felt like they'd be inseparable now. They loved each other and nothing was going to get in their way. What he wanted had finally happened and he thought that living happily ever after was right in their faces. Aside from suffering through intermittent withdrawal symptoms, he really felt so confident about everything and couldn't wait to do whatever they needed to do to move forward.

As Morgan drove, he wondered why all of this suddenly felt so good and right with Reid. After all, it had only been less than a week and it had been the roller coaster ride from hell. Why no more red flags? The only butterflies his gut was getting now was because he kept thinkin' about what a God damn, fantastic lover Reid was. Last night was so much more than he would have ever expected. Making love with Reid was… it was… Morgan shook his head with a quiet smile, immersed in his own thoughts, barely slowing down for some crows scavenging on some road kill. It was just so good… so amazing, so emotionally rewarding. If ever Morgan felt _in pieces_, last night with Reid had made him whole again. _I'm in love with Dr. Spencer Reid. _He chuckled to himself as he reached his hand over to Reid and Reid took his, clasping it firmly.

Furrowing his brow, Reid swallowed before he began. "Sooo," he trailed off and ran his free hand down a piece of paperwork in a file. "I think Hotch will want us out in Waynesville again today. Garcia came back with some new names… and addresses… that she's going to send…" Reid was reading as he was speaking, "…of some known acquaintances that we didn't have yesterday... I have the feeling we're going to get a good lead today."

"You workin' off hunches now?" Morgan kidded as he pulled into the restaurant and parked next to the other Fusion. Reid smiled, but didn't say anything in response. "What are you gonna order today? You hungry?"

"Mm, a little. I don't know. I'll see what looks good." Reid unbuckled and wrapped two fingers around the inside door handle at his side.

"Wait a minute," Morgan stalled him.

Reid looked at him with a raised brow. He let out a half smile as Morgan came in close for a kiss. Reid's heart skipped a beat when he felt Morgan's hand on his cheek. And then their lips touched… so warm and so soft. Reid immediately had to adjust himself as Morgan pulled away… No tongue was even used and Reid was stunned by the arousal that kiss gave him. "What was that for?" Reid's stared at Morgan with dazed eyes.

"I can't wait to get home… back to your place."

Reid let a smile slip just passed his lips. "Me too."

"I mean I _seriously_ cannot wait. We better get some time off cuz once we get back, I don't expect to see daylight for at least two days."

Reid cleared his throat and adjusted his tie. "Uhhuh," his voice cracked and he cleared his throat again. He watched Morgan grin at him and then Morgan suddenly hopped out of the car. Reid let a heavy sigh out and stepped out to follow suit.

When they reached the lobby doors, Reid fussed with his hair and followed Morgan into the restaurant. They quickly found the others at the same table as yesterday and again, they got some interesting looks from everyone, but no one said anything. There was something about Morgan's demeanor that told them to mind their own business. Everyone read him quite well. Reid could feel it. It felt like Morgan was protecting him and Reid by keeping everyone at a distance.

The case was discussed and strategies for the day were put into place. After breakfast was over, Hotch stopped Morgan in the lobby. Once again, Reid was in the bathroom. Morgan was a little excited about that, hoping for a repeat of yesterday until Hotch pulled him aside and into the banquet room.

"I meant to speak with you last night, but-"

Good God, here it comes… Morgan cut him off, "Hotch, it just happened, okay? Everyone's just gonna have to deal."

"I understand your relationship with Reid has changed and that's something we are going to have to discuss at some point, but right now, that's not what I need to speak with you about."

Ahh, the dreaded confirmation. Morgan's stomach flipped. Then Human Resources and disclosure crossed his mind. Wait, what? Morgan shouldn't have been so surprised that Hotch was so blunt, but he was. And now he could see the concern in Hotch's expression and the red flags started waving. "What's up? What's this about?"

Hotch paused before his reply, lowering his head and then he let his eyes shift to look about before bringing his eyes back to Morgan. "I think Reid is in trouble, Morgan."

Morgan swallowed nervously, not liking Hotch's tone. Never mind what he actually said, his tone had grounds. "What's goin' on?"

"I would speak to him directly on this, but I'm afraid if I say anything to him that he will lie to me to protect his relationship with you." After Hotch said that, for the first time, he wondered if Reid relapsing was directly related to Morgan. He didn't have enough information to assume anything and let the thought slip away to the back of his mind.

Morgan thought about that for a second. Hotch didn't want to give Reid an opportunity to lie? Since when does Reid lie? "About _what_?" Morgan's face began to show some anger because _what the fuck_? His eyes demanded Hotch answer him.

Hotch reached into his pocket and Morgan could see he had a hold of something. When Hotch showed him what it was, Morgan's jaw slacked open as the sharpest knife he had ever felt stabbed into the flesh of his back. His eyes moved back to Hotch, immediately sorrowful and wet. "He needs help, Morgan."

For a second, Morgan couldn't form any words. The last few days rushed him and he felt sick. "Where did you get that?"

"I found it yesterday morning on the floor where Reid sat in the rental car."

"Now, Hotch, you wait a minute," Morgan told him, not afraid to speak his mind. "I know he ain't out of the woods, but he is _not_ using again. He slipped on Wednesday, but not since then. He _slipped up_. That was all." Morgan hoped he wasn't lying to himself and making excuses.

"I _am_ sorry, Morgan, but how can you be sure?"

"Come on, man. The kid is an _open book_. We'd ALL know!" Morgan's voice bounced off the walls surrounding them.

"Morgan, calm down," Hotch told him sternly.

Morgan stared Hotch in the eyes as he tried to control his emotions, his chest already heaving. Hotch didn't want to talk to Reid, fine. Good, even. "I'll talk to him. Give it to me." Hotch reluctantly handed the vial of Dilaudid to Morgan. Once it was in his hand, Morgan started to walk.

"Morgan…"

_"What?"_ Morgan snapped as he turned around.

"He's out of chances."

Those words seemed to cut like a knife. Morgan bit his lower lip into his mouth and began to walk again. He wanted to create distance between himself and Hotch knowing Reid would be exiting the bathroom soon.

Morgan met Reid as Reid stepped out of the bathroom, just as expected. He needed time to think so he stopped himself from jumping on Reid right away. "Come on, we gotta go."

Reid's smile faded. "What? Nooo," he playfully whined, holding out some hope. He tilted his head toward the bathroom door that he was still holding open, trying to entice Morgan.

"We don't have time." Morgan simply turned around and headed toward the lobby doors.

Reid just kinda stood there, wondering what just happened. When he stepped out of the restaurant, he saw Morgan was already getting into the Fusion. He hurried to the car with the ridiculous thought that Morgan might even leave him behind.

"Why are we in a hurry? Did something happen with the case?" Reid stared at Morgan and waited for him to answer, but all he did was sigh and backed the car out of its parking spot. Reid tried to read him and he could see something had him upset, but Reid was still confused. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Just shut up for a minute." The words came out of Morgan's mouth so abruptly that he couldn't stop them.

As Reid sat next to Morgan, he held his tongue and remained patient. Pursing his lips, he cleared his throat and decided to start figuring out where their first stop needed to be once they hit Waynesville. Maybe whatever was bothering Morgan would go away. As he searched through the new information he got from Hotch during the breakfast, he tried to remain focused, but Morgan's silence was killing him. Morgan remained quiet for a few miles, driving with only his right hand. He had his left elbow planted on the armrest of the trim panel while he rubbed at his lower lip with his index finger.

Hunched over in his seat, Reid scratched at his nose as he read from an open file. He thought the ride would remain a smooth one until, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Morgan's hands change position on the steering wheel. The second Reid looked over at him, he realized that Morgan was pulling off of the road and onto a small open graveled area that they were coming up on way too fast. Reid couldn't react in time as Morgan hit the brakes, sending all the files that were in his lap to the floor. Reid's body also got jerked forward, but the seatbelt caught him just before his head could bounce off of the dash board. His body whiplashed against the seatback and then all was still. "What's your problem?" he shouted at Morgan as he bent down to grab at all the folders, letting himself get angry.

Morgan shut off the car and let the silence get thick before he spoke. "Do you remember when I said that maybe we should wait until you're better?"

Reid looked up as his fingertips flicked at file edges and he stopped what he was doing. He sat upright and faced Morgan as he remembered the precise moment. "Yes?"

"Do you remember how you said you could _handle it all_ as long as I'm around?"

"You're paraphrasing, but yes…"

Morgan threw a quick glare at Reid and then continued. "So what the hell were you lookin' for yesterday morning?" He watched a hint of understanding finally reach Reid's expression as his eyes went from squinting to wide. "It sure as _shit _wasn't your watch." And there it was. The look on Reid's face gave him away. He was hiding something. Reid's inner brows turned up as he struggled to swallow his attack of nerves. …And now Morgan couldn't stop himself from reacting. "God damn it, Reid!" he yelled as his hands hit the steering wheel. "You _lied _to me?" The betrayal in Morgan's eyes made Reid tear up instantly, but he tried to fight it back. Morgan got out of the car and slammed the door shut. The entire car shook as Reid heard a simultaneous muffled "FUCK!" come from Morgan. Reid slowly got out of the vehicle wanting to try and explain everything to Morgan, but he stood at the right fender, leaving the vehicle between them. His hands started shaking and he forced them into his pockets. Morgan turned around and remained standing at the left front of the car. "I'm sorry, but I'm done."

"Done?" Reid's eyes began to sting and his throat tightened up. "Morgan, wait, pl-"

"You're not _ready_ for this, _Reid!_"

Morgan's voice was so jarring that Reid nearly flinched at every third word. "Ready for what?" _because you can't mean what I think you mean._ Reid's heart began to race like it did this morning. He could feel his body shaking and he knew exactly what was happening now. He fought back the urge to become a blithering mess.

"THIS, Reid. _You and I._"

"Morgan… I'm read-"

"THIS SAYS YOU'RE NOT!" Morgan slammed the vial of Dilaudid down onto the hood and Reid winced, stepping back. He saw a vial sitting inside of a dent on the hood and stared at it with wide, glossy eyes.

"Morgan, the car…" he said without thinking.

"FUCK THE GOD DAMNED CAR, REID!" Morgan screamed as he kicked the fender, severely denting it. The vial rolled off the hood and landed on the ground in front of the car. Reid's eyes remained on the indent left in the hood, not daring to watch the vial, and Morgan just stood there, fuming at Reid. "You are _not_ well! You cannot _trade_ me for your addiction and you are not ready for a relationship. You can't handle both right now, Reid."

Addiction… Relationships… He wasn't sure if Morgan knew about it, but what Morgan had just said made Reid think of "The Thirteenth Step" of Alcoholics Anonymous, stating that members aren't supposed to get into relationships with each other while trying to get sober. His and Morgan's relationship wasn't exactly that, but he knew Morgan would argue if that really mattered at this point. Dysfunction breeds dysfunction. And if Morgan felt at all that he was in the way of Reid's recovery, he would bow out of the relationship and not think twice about it. If Morgan felt like he couldn't trust Reid, well, that spoke for itself. All he could do now was try to make Morgan believe him that he was fine. "I didn't… I didn't use any. I wasn't-"

"You couldn't FIND it to use, so _fuck you_ for even sayin' that."

"Morgan, you don't understand."

"What's there to understand, Reid?" Morgan threw up his hands.

"It's not like I couldn't get my hands on more." Reid spoke with his head down, not being able to look Morgan in the eye.

"Why does that sound like a threat?"

"It's not a threat… It's the simple truth." He tried to look at Morgan, but it was so difficult.

"What the hell are you thinking?"

"Morgan, I'll admit, I got scared. Withdrawal is so…" Reid swallowed, "it's really hard and I- I- wanted it close."

Morgan looked like he was about to shed some tears. "That makes no sense, Reid! WHY would you do that? WHY would you make it so easy to fuck everything up?"

"You DON'T know what it's like!" Reid snapped. "Last time, you guys had _no idea_ what I was going through! And all you guys did was stare and talk about me behind my back!"

That wasn't true. Morgan shook his head. "Call your sponsor. RIGHT NOW."

"He's not even my sponsor, Morgan! John is just someone who reached out to me _when I needed it_."

Morgan was angry and he was so very hurt. "I don't give a shit how he became your go-to-guy, just call him."

"I'm not gonna call him again just to satisfy _you_. I've called him when I've needed to and that's enough. I've got this under control." Reid started to say something more, but gave up, and just lowered his head, turning his back to Morgan, finally feeling the loss this moment was sure to bring him. He couldn't stand to see the disappointment on Morgan's face and he felt like he was moments from breaking down.

"Yeah," Morgan said in such a condescending tone.

Reid almost didn't bring the vial, but at the last second, he grabbed it. He will _never_ forgive himself for that decision. "I can't believe this…" Reid whispered to himself. _I'm going to lose him._

Morgan softened his tone before he spoke again, "Hotch is the one who found it, Reid. I can't protect you anymore." He waited for Reid to say something, but Reid remained still as he leaned against the fender with his hair blowing in the breeze. Morgan walked around the car and stood in front of his friend. "I won't. I'm not doin' it. You hear me?"

Reid waited for Morgan to move away from him before he spoke again. "Look, I know it was wrong to bring it, but I promise you that you're overreacting," he told Morgan over his shoulder. He could see Morgan was standing in front of the car now.

"Now, see? That's the problem right there. I don't think you really see the mistake you're making. What's it gonna take Reid? Should I arrest your ass? You wanna lose your job? Do you wanna lose _everything_? Maybe go live on the streets, die in the corner of a dark ally, cold and alone, choking on your own vomit?"

"Morgan-"

"Better yet, maybe overdose in a strange place, surrounded by people _you don't know_, who rob your body of all its possessions and _nobody_ gives a _fuck_ about you until your corpse starts to stink? Is that how you wanna go?"

"Morgan, stop." The visions in Reid's head were pegged.

"Oh, I'm stoppin'. You're on your own." Morgan took a pause, "You lied to me and that is the last time that's gonna happen." Morgan tried to walk away, but Reid grabbed his hand and Morgan let Reid keep him there. "What?"

"I understand you're angry. Just please don't give up on me… or us."

"I trusted you, Reid… I trusted you at your word…. and I trusted you with _me_. Do you understand how hard that was? I had to revisit a lot of ugly and painful memories to get myself to a place where _this _and the things we've been doin' didn't feel like the same horrific shit." Morgan jerked his hand away from Reid's grasp and glared at him. "Do you get it?" Reid closed his eyes and braced himself seeing that Morgan was coming into his personal space. In that velvet tone of his that Reid loved so much, Morgan ended it. "Like I said… I am _done_."

Not feeling Morgan's warm breath on his cheek any longer, Reid slowly turned his head to look at Morgan as he backed away. All Reid saw in him was resentment. Reid couldn't find the right thing to say after that. He knew Morgan meant what he said.

Reid watched Morgan continue to move away from him out of the corner of his eye. Off in the distance, the sound of a loud engine caught their attention causing both of them to watch the empty roadway behind them, waiting for this inevitable vehicle to come and go. It thankfully served as a temporary reprieve from all the heaviness and tension between Reid and Morgan. Droning from the engine and roaring from the upgraded exhaust system kept their attention as the vehicle began to pass by. It was an old model Ford truck and it was heading the same direction they had been. Morgan quickly looked back to Reid, ready to have Reid shredding his heart open with tears and begging, but Reid still had his eyes on that truck. Morgan saw Reid's face change just as the vehicle passed them.

"What?"

"That's our unsub."

* * *

><p><em>Rewrite after edit after rewrite. Difficult chapter… I'm probably still going to tweak it for the next couple of days, but I wanted it here for you. Let me know what you think!<em>


	21. Impulse

**Chapter 21: Impulse**

Morgan watched the truck driving off for just another second, but then it registered what Reid said. "What?" he repeated as he turned his head to look over his shoulder at Reid. He had to drop his line of sight because Reid was picking up the vial at their feet from the gravel where it had landed.

He turned to face Reid who then pushed his hand against Morgan's chest. "Take it." The vial exchanged hands as quickly as Morgan could react and then Reid pulled away to get back into the vehicle. It took a moment as Morgan processed that Reid didn't try to keep it, but then he shoved the vial of Dilaudid into his pocket and got back into the vehicle.

Reid pulled down on the seat belt with a fast jerk and it caught, locking the mechanism. He tried again and it loosened, allowing him to get buckled. Morgan followed suit; quick to get buckled, fired the engine up and floored the gas pedal. Reid had to grab onto the center console and the trim panel at his right. This was the first time he noticed that Morgan and Rossi didn't get a hybrid car like he, Hotch and the girls had. Loose gravel kicked up onto the vehicles undercarriage and Reid looked in his side view mirror to see a cloud of dust trailing behind them. He glanced at Morgan and turned his head away as soon as Morgan looked at him. So much was still in the air, but the thick of it got left on the roadside the moment they needed to switch gears from personal to professional. Morgan situated himself in the seat to get more comfortable and then stole another glance of Reid before turning the first corner they reached. Reid swallowed back the lump in his throat.

"Are you sure?" Morgan's insistence on the gas pedal had the engine roaring and the RPM gauge racing to reach 5000 RPM in his attempt to catch up. The unsub had to be at least a mile ahead of them by now. He had been haulin' ass to begin with.

The yellow lines on the road had been hypnotizing Reid as he stared ahead... and he was letting it happen… with absolutely no resistance. Anything was better than thinking the alternative thoughts. It took a little bit to snap himself out of it to answer Morgan. "Uhhh… I'm positive." Reid moved quickly to search through the files on the floor at his feet and found the one with the boyfriend's picture in it. He held it up to Morgan who took only two quick and careful glances.

"You gotta call Hotch." Morgan's eyes looked back to the road. He had the appearance of a head strong hero, ready to save the day.

Reid immediately went for his phone, but couldn't finagle his hand down his pocket. The phone was too deep and Morgan's driving had the seat belt locked thanks to his braking at the last corner. It was holding Reid down and he couldn't get it to unlock. "Dammit," he whined as he tugged on the belt with no result. He tried to raise his body, he tried to turn onto his side and finally grunted in frustration and just unhooked the belt buckle.

"What are you doin'?"

"I can't get to my phone."

"Come on, man…" he quietly moaned, more to himself than to Reid. Morgan didn't want to worry about Reid right now. He wanted to be mad at Reid, as selfish as that was. He swallowed and closed his eyes tightly for just a second. When he opened them again, he caught a glimpse of the truck ahead. "I see youuuu…" he breathed.

Reid speed dialed Hotch and held his finger to his other ear. "Hotch! Hotch, we're in pursuit of the unsub. He's driving a late 70's model Ford truck… blue, no tags…" There was a long pause. "Hotch?" Morgan glanced at Reid and saw Reid staring at the screen of his phone. "Hotch?" Reid held the phone to his ear again as he looked out the windows at their surroundings... It was just a high embankment and some trees. "Shit!"

From the corner of his eye, Morgan looked Reid up and down. Reid rarely swears. It was obvious he was pretty frazzled. "Podunk, Reid. Keep tryin'. We probably just hit a dead zone."

Reid tried Hotch again, not really listening to Morgan, but his phone wouldn't even send the call. When Reid glanced upward, he saw they were about to come up right on the Ford truck's tail.

"Did he hear you at all?" Morgan asked as he pulled his phone from his waist. He flipped it open and saw it said _No Service _which permitted him to close it and just toss it into Reid's floor board area, quickly giving his attention back to the road.

Reid kept watching the truck ahead of them. "I think so… I'm not sure. I didn't get the chance to even tell him where we are before I realized-,"

"That's alright." Morgan knew if it came down to it, this rental car would give a location if all else failed.

Reid saw Morgan seemed to be dead set on closing the gap between them and the truck, and rather quickly. "What are we gonna do? Just follow him or…?" His hand grabbed onto the handle of his pistol out of habit, sensing a need for protection. They hadn't had any time to prepare. They weren't wearing any type of communication gear other than their useless cell phones, their bullet proof vests were in the trunk and they had absolutely no plan. Not that he and Morgan couldn't take down an unsub on their own, but something didn't feel right. The longer Reid watched Morgan and his unwavering determination, the more nervous he got and his mouth started to hang open as he tried to watch everything that was happening. They were right behind the truck now and that bad feeling was yanking at his nerves, demanding to be acknowledged. And he wasn't getting through to Morgan; that was crystal clear when Morgan didn't answer him.

Morgan kept watching the reflected eyes of the unsub who was watching them in his rear view mirror. "Whatever it is you're plannin' to do… don't do it…" he said under his breath.

"Don't do what?" Reid tried to make out detail of what was happening through the back glass of the lifted truck, but he had no idea what Morgan was noticing. "What is he doing?"

That's when they heard the exhaust drone as the unsub's vehicle sped up. "He made us. He's gonna run." Morgan sped up to keep up.

"Made us?" Reid repeated back to himself as he watched Morgan, noticing the impulse reaction that had such a grip on him. He was like a dog chasing a cat. He wasn't gonna stop. Urgency suddenly struck Reid and he began yelling at Morgan as Morgan kept right on the unsub's ass. "We're unmarked and not wearing our gear! We are _not_ prepared to stop him!" he tried to iterate to Morgan, louder this time. "We need back up, Morgan!" Reid exclaimed.

"I came up on him too fast. Hold on!"

"Are you listening to me?" Reid saw the severity of focus on Morgan's face. His body swayed as Morgan jerked the steering wheel to the left so he could drive down the center of the road. "Mor- Wh- What are you doing?"

"Gonna try a pit maneuver."

_Are you crazy?_ "Morgan, _all of our gear is in the trunk_. For all we know he's got a shot gun cocked and loaded. I don't want to be a sitting duck for a loaded 12 gauge!"

"I ain't lettin' him get away, Reid! Now buckle your fucking seat belt!" Morgan barked after he saw that Reid was facing him, holding onto the seatback with his hand, not secured at all.

Reid snapped to move, doing what Morgan ordered. He tried desperately to pull on the belt, to pull it down and across his body, but once again, it locked. "What's wrong with this thing?" And with the adrenaline beginning to surge through his body, Reid couldn't pull on the belt gently enough for it to unwind. He looked up when he felt the impact occur. Morgan had bumped the left rear of the truck with the right front of the Fusion. That's when Morgan realized his miscalculation. Since the truck was lifted, the sloped front end of the car could barely nudge the bottom corner of the pickup bed, allowing the unsub to recover quickly.

"Dammit!" Morgan looked more determined than ever.

"Morgan, _stop_, this isn't going to work!" Reid felt like he was screaming at Morgan and still not being heard. It was infuriating.

Morgan had to think of something else. "Shoot out his tire!" Morgan ordered Reid.

"I can't even get buckled and you want me to disable his vehicle when you're practically crawling up his ass?" He shouted, still fighting to secure himself.

At the last second, the belt unwound. Reid pulled it over his body, but it caught _again_ just before he could latch it. That adrenaline coursing through his veins had him shaking and he couldn't see through his hair enough to know he needed just another inch of slack on the belt. He looked up and thought he saw Morgan reaching for his own gun. His chest tightened, feeling like he was in a race against time and when looked back down, out of the corner of his eye, he saw red light glimmer between the wavy strands of his hair. In the following split second, he heard Morgan curse and then everything went dark.

* * *

><p>Reid could feel tapping on his cheeks… He could feel hands in his hair… He could feel a near paralyzing pain throughout his entire body as warmth dripped down his neck, tickling enough for him to try to move his head to halt it.<p>

"Reid! Reid…" Morgan kept trying to revive Reid and he could see that Reid was struggling to come to. "Don't you scare me, man. _Wake up!_ Open your eyes… Look at me, Reid."

Reid could hear Morgan loud and clear, but nothing about his body felt like he had any control. He fought so hard to open his eyes and when he saw a sliver of daylight, he fought harder. When one of his lids finally lifted, he saw a blurry Morgan. "Mmmmmm… Mmmmo… mph," his voice was weak as he tried to say Morgan's name.

Fear struck Morgan's heart. _I broke his brain… _Reid's ongoing moans sounded like that of a mentally or physically disabled person who couldn't communicate. "Don't try to talk," Morgan told him. "I'm right here."

Thoughts and questions were beginning to arrange themselves in Reid's head, but he couldn't express any of them vocally. His eyes tried to focus on the air bag in front of him as Morgan kept trying to push it back into the compartment it shot out from. He could smell something burnt in the air and knew it was from the airbags detonating. The scent scratched at his throat and he involuntarily coughed, feeling a horrible pressure behind his temples. He touched his palm to the right side of his head and realized he could feel sensation in his hand, but where he had touched his head felt numb. His eyes got wide when he pulled his hand away and all he could see was the color of bright red painted onto his palm from his blood soaked hair.

Morgan pushed Reid's hand down into his lap. "Reid, we had an accident. Help is on the way. I need you to stay calm and don't move."

Reid looked beyond Morgan and saw the tempered glass of the windshield was shattered with quite an imprint in it. He could make out dents in the dash board and he looked at the deep scrape on his right arm that was starting to sting, just above the inside of his wrist. He couldn't stop his eyes from watering as the pain became overwhelming; the pressure in his head, his right shoulder and arm… his back, his hips... Reid suddenly remembered the unsub. "Where's… Where is he?" He was relieved to hear his own voice, but he still didn't feel coherent. He wasn't sure he said what he meant to.

Morgan was _so_ relieved to hear Reid speak. "He's handcuffed to that truck. He ain't goin' anywhere." Reid squinted through the all the tiny cracks in the windshield to look at the back of the truck. Morgan followed his eyes. "He made me rear end him and he couldn't break loose thanks to his drop hitch. It's just about wedged into the engine." Morgan smiled a little bit and started lookin' around. "Dumb ass." His eyes made it back to Reid quickly. "How you doin'? You got a good bump on your head."

At some point, Reid had stopped listening while Morgan was talking. As he sat there, he could feel all his questioning turning to anger as he remembered how they got to where they were. In fact, he was getting so angry that he could feel a sensation rising outward from his chest. He needed to get out to the car. He felt so cramped and was dying for some fresh air. He tried to muster up the coordination to move. His hand reached for the door handle. Even extending his arm was painful. He felt like he could move though. He was going for it.

A car stopped to offer assistance and Morgan told Reid to hold tight, not sensing he was lookin' to bail, and he got out to speak with them to get them on their way; saying thanks and that help was coming. When he came back, he saw Reid standing outside of the car, trying to walk to the side of the road. He was limping and holding his right arm close to his chest.

"Reid!" Morgan immediately ran to him. "What are you doin'? Come on back. The ambulance is gonna be here any minute." He reached his arms out to Reid and Reid shied away.

"DON'T touch me."

"Reid, hey…" Morgan looked like Reid had just broken his heart. He kept his arm stretched out hoping Reid would just change his mind.

"Stay away from me…"

Morgan could tell by the look on Reid's face and sound of his voice, he absolutely meant it. Morgan heard the ambulance coming and looked down the road, but didn't see it. He looked back at Reid who was stressed to stay on his feet and then he glanced at his watch. It had been about eight minutes since the wreck. If it hadn't been for a nearby resident who heard the crash, they would have not even had an ambulance on the way yet. Reid was safer inside the car. Someone gawking at the accident could run off the road and hit him. "Reid, just come back to the car?"

"Why? You didn't kill me the first time?"

Morgan was taken aback. "What did you just say?"

"I told you it wasn't going to work. You did it anyway. You knew I wasn't buckled in…" Reid face grimaced as he suffered through the aching.

"Reid…" Morgan started, but Reid turned his back. "I didn't know. I thought…" he stopped talking, trying to remember what happened. He couldn't finish as the deep weight of the guilt set in. "Oh, man," he mumbled quietly to himself. "I am so sorry," he told Reid, trying to step into Reid's path to get Reid to look at him. Reid finally shot a glare at him and Morgan stepped aside. When Morgan reached up to rub his head with his hands, he felt the burns left from the airbag fabric. He stretched his arms out and could see red welts and broken skin. He looked back to Reid and watched him try to hobble off like a wounded animal.

The ambulance pulled up and Morgan waved the paramedics over to him and his injured partner. He insisted he was fine and to take care of Reid. He told them about his head injury, how he couldn't speak, and _absolutely no narcotics_ when treating him. The rest of the BAU pulled up along with two patrol cars. Morgan took one last look behind him at Reid getting questioned about his injuries and listened. Reid was a good patient, telling them everything he knew was relevant. Morgan scanned the scene for Hotch and when they met eyes, they began to walk to one another.

"Are you okay?" Hotch asked as he looked Morgan over. He looked as professional and unemotional as ever, but of course, Morgan knew him well enough to see deeper than that. Hotch was pretty concerned about what he could see had happened.

"I'm fine, but," Morgan motioned toward the car and then he and Hotch look toward where Reid was, "he wasn't buckled. He got tossed around…" Morgan felt another wave of guilt and it chocked him up for just a split second; he quickly controlled it. "I think he got thrown into the middle of the dash and then into the windshield _and then_ back down. He was practically in my lap before I even knew what happened."

Hotch nodded while listening to Morgan. "You had confronted him?"

"We got into a _bad_ fight, Hotch..." Morgan's face made it clear he was still in distress over it.

Hotch's eyes stared at Reid with the paramedics, but then moved to the wrecked rental car. "Is this accident a direct result of your argument?"

Morgan shook his head and held his fist to his mouth as he looked down at their feet, thinking back. "No, we were stopped on the side of the road. We weren't even in the car. And then Reid recognized the guy… We got in the car and caught up to him…"

There was a bit of silence as Hotch read the guilt on Morgan's face. He put his hand on Morgan's shoulder and then left him standing there and he walked up to Reid who was being stabilized on a gurney. "Reid, how are you feeling?" He looked down at Reid, very lovingly, like a caring father would and moved Reid's hair from his face.

Reid tried to smile at Hotch. "I have a splitting headache."

"Reid, I'm the one who found the Dilaudid. I should have come to you directly and I'm sorry I didn't."

"Hotch…" Reid was going to say he was sorry with the strength of a million apologies, but Hotch shook his head once, cutting him off with that simple gesture. The corners of Reid's mouth turned down and he looked away. When he looked up again, he saw Morgan standing at a distance, watching. His eyes shifted left and right until they looked up at Hotch again.

Hotch took Reid's hand and gave it a firm grasp. "Let me see who can accompany you on the way to the hospital." He left Reid and headed back to Morgan.

Morgan drilled Hotch as soon as he was standing next to him. "What did he tell you?"

"Nothing."

"It scares the shit outta me. He lied to _me_, Hotch."

"I'm worried too, but let's go ahead and wait until we can get back and then we'll address this with him, see if we can't get him some additional support."

Morgan just shook his head and sighed. He thought Reid didn't have any more chances… Hotch's soft spot for Reid was showing…

"Do you want to ride with him?"

"Nah, he doesn't want me around." Morgan tried to ignore the puzzled look on Hotch's face, but couldn't. "He's mad at me over that wreck. I insisted we get the guy… I was so focused on the chase…"

Hotch nodded once. They both stared at the Fusion with its front end plowed into the rear of the truck.

"I trust it will all be in your report… " Hotch locked eyes with Morgan and purposely contradicted his statement with his expression, meaning to leave out his personal issues with Reid. Morgan nodded in acknowledgement _and_ in thanks. Rossi was last seen putting the unsub in a patrol car. JJ and Prentiss were waved over by Hotch. "Will you two please ride with Reid?"

"Yes, of course," JJ said. Prentiss nodded.

When the girls were out of sight, Hotch held out his hand to Morgan. Morgan looked around them and over his shoulders while reaching into his pocket. He quickly handed the vial over to Hotch. They nodded to each other and Hotch left Morgan there, standing alone. He watched Hotch meet up with Rossi across the way. He looked back to the ambulance and saw JJ holding Reid's hand. Prentiss was next to her, smiling at Reid, obviously trying to kid with him a little bit. It wasn't too much longer before the ambulance took Reid and the girls away. The unsub was also taken away by another ambulance. All that was left was the loud diesel engines of the tow trucks that were on site to tend to the truck and the rental car.

As Hotch and Rossi sat inside their car waiting for Morgan, Hotch filled Rossi in on what he understood had happened. And for whatever reason, Morgan was fixed on staring at the wrecked car, watching as the tow trucks drivers worked on separating the vehicles. "Something tells me he's not going to handle this well once it sinks in that he almost got Reid killed."

Rossi nodded. "I'd say you're right about that."

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><p>When Reid woke up in the hospital, Morgan wasn't there. And to be honest, he wasn't surprised. He was happy to have everyone else there and focused on that so he wouldn't upset himself. The team had waited, not heading back home without him. He even got a phone call from Garcia once she heard through the grape vine that he felt well enough to socialize a little bit.<p>

After two days of treatment and observation it was time to head back to Virginia. Prentiss and JJ went with Morgan to their respective motel rooms to gather their things. Morgan asked the girls if they could grab Reid's stuff… He just couldn't deal with it. He was still angry, still hurt, feeling guilty about the wreck… and he held no comfort in touching _anything_ of Reid's right now.

Reid hitched a ride with Rossi and Hotch to the jet. When he boarded the aircraft, he didn't see Morgan right away, nor did he even try to look for him. He did that on purpose. Hotch and Rossi took their seats just at the entrance and Reid kept walking, choosing a seat facing the back of the plane.

After about twenty minutes in the air, he saw Prentiss and JJ call him to come over to sit on the small couches with them in the back. As he walked to them, Reid ran his hand down his hair, feeling the gauze wrapped around his noggin to hold more gauze in place at the stitched up wound. He felt uneasy and nothing felt right; he felt scattered because of it, but he smiled at Prentiss and JJ anyway, trying to fit in again.

Morgan watched Reid from behind, noting his bandages and the fact that his right arm was in a sling. He hated himself. He wanted to go tell Reid how sorry he was. For everything. He pulled off his headphones and made to get up, but Hotch took hold of his wrist stopping him. Morgan's eye brows rose and he looked at Hotch in question.

"If you go to him now, you will only confuse him …and yourself."

"Hotch," Morgan started.

"Give each other some space and then have your talk." Hotch knew his advice was sound, but he also considered that another argument could take place. He didn't want that to happen in such close quarters.

Morgan relaxed in his chair, feeling the deflation of his bravado as he rested his body against the seat back again.

Prentiss had begun cracking jokes almost immediately, trying to see how many times she could get Reid to smile. JJ sat next to Reid and started messing with his hair, fixing the stray hairs that were out of place from the placement of the gauze. Reid was trying not to blush. JJ and Prentiss were paying special attention to him, obviously trying to distract him and have him feel loved and it was working very well.

After about an hour in the air Reid had been laughing at Prentiss for several minutes and he was convinced she was in the wrong line of work and should have been a comedian. His chuckles wound down as the girls got up. JJ had to use the bathroom and Prentiss wanted some water. Reid sat there alone and stared at his hands, still smiling on and off, already reminiscing about the faces Prentiss was making and the way JJ looked like she was going to cry whenever she laughed so hard.

Reid's sense that he was being watched tapped on his shoulder and he looked up, directly at Morgan. His instincts were right on both counts. Morgan was watching him. They stared at each other from across the cabin for a good thirty seconds. Reid only looked away because he heard the girls coming back. He looked back at Morgan for a second and then looked at JJ and Prentiss. He cleared his throat and tried to engage himself with the girls, but he could still feel Morgan's eyes on him. He couldn't stop himself from trying to glance again. When he did, he saw Morgan raise one eye brow with a slight nod to get his attention. Reid's eyes squinted a little as he became curious and he watched Morgan discreetly bring his closed fist to his chest and move it in a circle over his heart. He was signing that he was sorry. Reid subtly frog faced and looked away giving his full attention to JJ and Prentiss.

_Oh, Jesus, that hurt._ Morgan closed his eyes tight hoping he had just imagined that.

When the plane landed, Morgan sat quietly and was glad to see the girls get out of there. Rossi was quick to follow. Reid went to the back of the plane to get a bottle of water and Morgan wanted this chance to just talk to him. Hotch was taking his time gathering some things together, but Morgan didn't care that he was around. "Hey, Reid!" Morgan yelled to him. He heard Hotch say his name as he was standing up out of his chair, but Morgan had no problem ignoring him.

Reid stood between the couches, waiting for Morgan to take the several steps to reach him. His eyes moved from Morgan to Hotch and back to Morgan. When he saw Hotch was about to get off the plane, he called to him, "Hotch! Can you stay… for a second?"

Morgan looked over his shoulder at Hotch and then back to Reid. It was pretty clear that Reid didn't want to be left alone with Morgan and Morgan didn't know exactly why, but God damn it, he sure knew it stung like a son of a bitch.

Hotch stood at the entrance with his head down, not wanting to hear the conversation, but not willing to leave Reid alone if Reid wanted him there.

"Reid, I… I just wanna say that I'm really sorry, man. I made a mistake… I-"

Reid tried to smile as he cut Morgan off. "It's okay. I know it wasn't-"

"It's _not_ okay…" Morgan cut Reid off, practically demanding Reid blame him for _something_.

"_I'm_ okay," Reid told him, recognizing that concern in Morgan's eyes. He glanced at Hotch and licked his lips as he leaned closer to Morgan. "Look," he began quietly, "I'm sorry, you're sorry… Let's just forget about it."

Morgan pulled back so he could look Reid in the eye. "_Forget _about it?" _How do we do that?_

"Yeah, you know… Go back to the way things were and just forget _any _of this ever happened."

"_Any_ of this?" Morgan didn't understand and now he was scared.

All Reid could think about was how badly he had disappointed Morgan. He felt that he no longer _deserved_ Morgan and really just wanted to save him any more trouble. Besides, Morgan was done. He ended their relationship and Reid just didn't have the confidence to fight for it any longer. He was quickly getting angry at himself and it was coming through in his expressions as he spoke to Morgan. "Yeah, _this_…That's what you want, right?"

_No, No, No._ Morgan's heart began cracking because somethin' about the way Reid spoke had Morgan believing him; _this is what Reid wants._ He thought about how mad he had been at Reid. His face got hot at the embarrassment of the rejection; he knew now he could take it all back… He didn't _want_ this to be over… but… but the look in Reid's eyes… He was already gone. "Yeah, man… if that's what you want…"

"I think it would be best…" Reid bit his lower lip into his mouth and raised his brow at Morgan.

All Morgan could do was buck up and gesture that he understood, like he got it and absolutely agreed, but he didn't. His mind raced with questions he didn't have the balls to ask. _How are we going to face each other every day? How was this not going to get in the way of what a good friendship we had? How do I stop loving you?_

Hotch remained witness to this and it made him feel so sorry for the both of them. They were breaking up and neither of them wanted to. Anyone on the outside could have seen that. And as much as he didn't want that for them, he wasn't going to interfere.

"I'll see you Monday." Reid started walking away, but turned his head back to tell Morgan, "Have a good weekend."

To Morgan, Reid's tone actually said _I'm going to miss you _and that left Morgan unable to speak. He was watching the man that he loved walk away, but he didn't feel like he had the right to stop him.

Reid scooted by Hotch and headed down the stairs carefully. Hotch and Morgan took a long look at each other until Hotch bowed his head and exited the plane.

Reid walked alongside Hotch in silence. He kept licking his lips and tucking them into his mouth to keep the dam behind his eyes from breaking. Walking away from Morgan was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do.

_This is really happening,_ Reid told himself.

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><p><em>I thought I was going to write another chapter for this one, but it seems fitting that what I have already written be the start of a new story because there's going to be a considerable time laps. I do need to run through these chapters again and revise them here and there and I will create a note under each chapter body to let you know that's occurred (like I've done for the first 3 chapters), so anyone waiting on me can check my progress. I'll get it into a completed status and then begin posting for the new story. So, to iterate, the new story will be the same Reid and Morgan! YAY! I just need some time to get things in order. <em>

_This story is now on AdultFanFiction and Archive of Our Own. Not all the chapters are posted yet, but all in good time. I will post my other works too, eventually. _

_Again, all your support and getting so many favorable reviews has blown my mind. (I confess that I read them over and over.) The only thing that could come close to that would be for the CM writers to give me phone call and hire me to bring our boys together on the show. ;) I'll be over here holding my breath._

_I will remain a member here and keep posting here. _


	22. The Constant  excerpt

**Alrighty, my good friends,**

**First off, thank you all so much for following me and/or my stories. Writing The Thirteenth Step has really been such a wonderful experience for me. The sequel, which is titled The Constant, has become just as consuming. I swear it's all I think about. I have the feeling it will be just as good.**

**I'm posting here to help lead you guys to it. I will be posting it this weekend and I wanted to make sure the followers of this story know it's coming and to look for it.**

**When I post, I will probably let this (chapter! -not deleting story) stay up for a couple of days afterward and then remove it, since I think posting this is technically breaking the rules here.**

**Since I love you all, I'm providing an excerpt:**

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><p>As Reid moved to pass Morgan at the doorway, Morgan gently grabbed his arm. Reid looked to their feet and then to Morgan's eyes. "I'm sorry. You know that, right?"<p>

"I do. It's okay," Reid knew that wouldn't suffice.

"It's not okay." Morgan paused at the familiarity of the words being said. "I want you to be happy, Reid. What happened today was just a punch to my gut and I'm sure it's only one of many to come. You are… such a…" he wanted to say something nice like 'wonderful person', but he didn't finish his thought and only gave a gentle squeeze of Reid's arm still in his hand before letting out a sigh.

Reid squinted at Morgan, looking at him pretty hard and wondered what was going on. When Morgan licked his lips, the butterflies in Reid's stomach made themselves known. Standing so close to Morgan felt surreal and he could feel the tightness in his chest. He wanted to tell Morgan to step away or… or somehow get his own feet to move, but he knew none of that was what he really wanted. He tried to slow his quickening breaths; he knew this moment might change everything.

Morgan smiled just a little bit and shook his head. "Never mind," he said softly. Reid couldn't stop himself from staring at Morgan as Morgan stared back at him, obviously feeling that same connection. Morgan still had a hold of Reid's arm and was just beginning to loosen his grip. He looked at Reid's hair as he took a small step back. "Ya know… I never did like that haircut. I'm glad you're letting it grow out some." He continued to look Reid over and Reid was desperately trying to not think about how he had loved it when Morgan pulled his hair during sex.

Reid noticed immediately when Morgan's expression turned from slight disapproval to sad disappointment. He could see it coming; Morgan had to get something off of his chest. Reid braced himself knowing that anything Morgan had to say would be hard to hear. "You don't geek out anymore, you know… You're so quiet. I don't see that twinkle in your eye cuz you don't get excited much anymore… You aren't the same kid I used to know."

Reid licked his lips and let out a breath. "I, uhh… A lot of things have happened, Morgan. Neither…" he swallowed nervously, "Neither of us are the… same." Reid cocked his head as Morgan let him go and then he took in a deep breath. "Are you okay?"

Morgan slipped his hands into his pockets and lowered his head. He had a slight smile and _his_ eyes held a subtle twinkle when they met Reid's again. "After, uhh… after everything that happened, we just sorta fell off the map, didn't we? We don't talk a lot … You don't go out into the field much anymore so we don't get partnered up." Morgan glanced away, toward the wall, nervous to spill, but he looked back at Reid and let his confession out. "I… I _miss_ you, man."

It was obvious Morgan was trying to strain his words through his attempt to hold back the tears, tightening his throat. He wanted to be strong, but Reid could see right through him. He could hear how difficult it was for Morgan to say those last words and he squeezed his hand into a fist, trying to fight his own rush of emotions. He swallowed slow and hard as he tried to think of something to say, absolutely clueless. He had not only spent almost the last two years trying to get over Morgan, but he had been through so much personally and with his team at the BAU as well. Morgan was right.

"Are ya gonna say _anything_?" Morgan's face was so sad.

"Morgan, I-I," he couldn't stop the stutter and was thankful when Morgan cut him off.

"I can't stop thinkin' about _you_, Reid."

Reid just stood there. His heart began to ache as it tried so very hard to push blood through his veins. He could feel the sweat evaporating from his forehead and rubbed his hand down the side of his face. _Why can't I let you go? _He started to chew on his lips and he _remained_ still, trying not to focus on how light headed he suddenly felt. The silence that followed was the kind that empties the oxygen from rooms. It was awkward as hell and so very suffocating. Reid told himself to _stick to the plan. _They weren't together and it was for the best.

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><p><strong>I'm still editing so some things might change a little! See you this weekend!<strong>


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